Need advice on how to handle this...

[superconfused88]

So, here is my situation. I am a really confused 27 year old female. About two months ago, I started talking to this guy and had a kinda dirty texting relationship which was super fun. I have a very busy schedule between my work and social life, so I have to cancel a few times on meeting up with him. Regardless we were texting back and forth everyday for about a month. His cousin, who is a mutual friend of ours, was getting married in a month so I know I would meet up with him there. Then the one day, I texted him and never heard back. I didn't take it too personally and just assumed his wasn't feeling it anymore. Another two weeks went by and I had noticed that this guy started dating a girl I know. I had seen them tagged in pictures on Facebook and she seemed really happy. I didn't think much of it and just kinda shrugged it off. Went to the wedding, even said a quick "Hi' to him, and everything seemed good.

Then out of nowhere, two days ago, he messaged me back with a story that he had smashed his phone and had to get a replacement. And that he just figured out how to restore his contacts and that he wanted to continue our conversation and even wanted me to resend the racy pictures I had previously sent him because he lost our conversation. Then started texting me dirty things and dick pictures just like we hadn't stopped talking. I was really taken back by it, and when I asked him about his girlfriend, he was completely honest and upfront about it. So I told him that I was turned off by that, and that he probably shouldn't be messaging me. Then he said he understood but wants to still text about things other than sex. I kinda agreed that it would be okay, but still feel sleazy and confused. I mean I am totally still attracted to him, and he is a great guy but this is torture.

What does he want from me? Should I just completely cut off ties with him? Let me know what you think!

[melancholia]

He wants to try to convince you to start sending him dirty texts and pictures again. He may have said he wants to chat about other things, but I bet you if you start doing that, he will progressively up the flirting and it will fall right back to the dirty texts. He has a girlfriend, and he is clearly showing you that he doesn't respect her or their relationship. Your intentions aren't to be just friends, so you may as well give up on it. There are plenty of other men, who are unattached, who you can exchange flirty/dirty texts with. Just cut ties with him. It's so not worth it.

[TheEvilJester]

It's possible that he and his girlfriend have an "open relationship." I may not personally agree with that sort of thing, but it works for some people, so if it works for them, that is up to them. It is possible he and this "girlfriend" are not actually boyfriend and girlfriend yet and are really "just dating" at this point. If that is the case, there's no reason he can't flirt with/ask out other women.

....Of course, it's also just as possible that he's just a pig. That this other gal IS his girlfriend, but he's a scumbag who doesn't care and still flirts with other women anyway like there is nothing wrong with that.

However, the bottom line is you don't sound like you want to be just friends with him. So, honestly, whether he's a jerk or not doesn't really matter. The end result for you should be the same. You don't want to be just friends with him, but it seems that is all he's offering (that or a "friends with benefits" situation, which I presume is also not what you want). So, what reason is their to continue the relationship in any fashion, as friends or otherwise?

I have my suspicions, personally, about his story of having smashed his phone.... But honestly, no reason to bother speculating there either because, again, what difference does it make? You are looking for a more serious relationship then he is offering. I agree with melancholia. (That is quickly becoming one of my catch-phrases here. LOL! Melancholia, are you secretly a female me, or am I secretly a male you? ) Best just to move on. Good luck to you.