Ladies, would love to have your thought on this

[Callos]

A gamer girl (25F) that I (19m) know.
I know Hikaru (her nickname) from an MMORPG since 2012. We both live in Asia, same city. She is average looking, shorter than me. We first met outside in December 2015, we and couple of people from Star Wars fanpage went to see SW ep 7 together. When I stood near. her I was attracted by the smell from her hair, it was really strong smell, make me almost I want to kiss her but of course I held back. Eversince I keep thinking about her, imagine cuddling her on bed.

We met outside 2nd time on April at a cosplay convention. There were me cosplay as an Assassin, Hikaru and her DA cosplay group. We were mainly going around taking pictures. I recognize that smell again when I stood near her. She spend most of her free time playing that MMORPGS, more time than me so she have many characters, BIS pve gear. We are in the same guild every weekend she goes rading with the guild, the hardest mode. I did go raiding with the guild a few times a while ago, I hardly login the game anymore because I am college now. From what I see, she is like a hardcore gamer. We have some differences but not really serious so I can tolerate. Beside that MMORPG, me and her dont really have anything else in common. Sometime we do talk about Marvel stuff but not much.

I consider her as a close female friend, not that I have any female friend before playing the MMORPG. I my mind I want to be close to her, but of course in reality it doesn't look like that. It is quite painful (emotionally) that whenever I lie on bed she is not beside for me to cuddle.

[melancholia]

Why don't you ask her out on a date and see what happens? Even if you don't have a lot in common, it doesn't mean you can't be a couple. Sometimes our differences can be our greatest assets. Opening your mind to other opportunities and points of view can be a great way to connect with someone you don't necessarily share a lot of common interests.

If you like her, ask her out and see what she says!

[Callos]

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Why don't you ask her out on a date and see what happens? Even if you don't have a lot in common, it doesn't mean you can't be a couple. Sometimes our differences can be our greatest assets. Opening your mind to other opportunities and points of view can be a great way to connect with someone you don't necessarily share a lot of common interests.

If you like her, ask her out and see what she says!

If we ever go out for a drink I would prefer going in a group rather just 2 of us.
I did hang out a few time with some guy friend who also play the same MMORPG 1-2 years ago + those time with her as I already mention. I never hang out with anyone except my cousin before highschool senior year so I dont hang out much.

[Dream_of_Waves]

I think you should ask her out, obviously you two have a connection. Talk to her about how you would prefer to hang out on a group before you hang out just the two of you.

I can't help you with my own personal experience because my husband an I were besties from childhood so I don't know what it's like to not know how to hang out with him, but I do know that you can't do any wrong is pushing past your comfort zone if you try hard enough cause you want it bad enough.

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The advice I always give people when they are unsure of what to do next is to test the waters. Flirt with her, put yourself out there, especially if she's single, and see how she reacts.

[Callos]

By not letting her know that I have feeling for her, I am trying to protect her from being in pain.
Anyway I going to ask her to go watch a movie with me this september and I hope she would say no rather than not looking at my message at all which she mostly do.

[Eka Sartini]

By not letting her know that I have feeling for her, I am trying to protect her from being in pain.
Anyway I going to ask her to go watch a movie with me this september and I hope she would say no rather than not looking at my message at all which she mostly do.

why are you trying to protect her from being in pain? is she sick?
and, she mostly not looking on your message, by saying that, do you mean that she don't like you at all??

[Dream_of_Waves]

I think you should be honest and do what feels right. Trust your instincts, don't ignore your feelings. Feelings exists for a reason. Ask her to put a date aside in September to watch a movie with you. That's the best way to hint to her that you are interested. I don't see why you would need to protect her from pain. Why do you say that?

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If you both really like each other that's all that matters. You're both adults. Don't be worrying about pain.

[Callos]

why are you trying to protect her from being in pain? is she sick?
and, she mostly not looking on your message, by saying that, do you mean that she don't like you at all??

Mentai pain. I have feeling for her and it pain me, if she also have feeling for me, she would also be in pain. So I dont want her to have feeling for me more than a friend even though I have strong feeling for her.
She usually take a very long time to look at my message. There was a time when it took her almost a month to look at my message.

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It is painful that whenever I lie on bed, she is not beside for me to cuddle. Opportunity may come that we will lie on the same bed or not. The thing is I am not going to actively do anything to achieve that. I am not going to act different from myself to achive that. It will be suck that I dont get to cuddle or even hug her but I will let thing come naturally. It my fault for feeling like this to her, I am just hurting myself for thinking to her like this but it not going to stop, it will bother me for the rest of my life.

[Eka Sartini]

ow,, i see.. i think i'm in same situation like you..
i'm in love with my co-worker and my boss knew that. so, my boss moved him far far away from me. you know what, its suck. my live was fall to earth, i don't wanna feel anymore. i was in darkest and i can't eat, i can't sleep. i'm totally half to death. and yes! "I am just hurting myself for thinking to him like this but it not going to stop, it will bother me for the rest of my life."
but, you know what, i think, times heal everything, i believe that.. you only need friend, a new friend to talk about, to hang out, to forget all of your feeling to her. stop hurting your self! yourself deserves the best!
if you can't be with her, just don't. don't forced yourself. Stop imagine she will cuddle with you, change it with another imagination that is not include her.

[Callos]

I am an introvert and a pessimist. I dont expect good things going to happen in the future so I wont have to be disappointed.

[Eka Sartini]

good,, don't expect too much

[Dream_of_Waves]

I disagree. If two people love each other enough, they will find a way that babe together. If it about other people, who cares what they think. You saw both adults and you should be able to live your lives as you please. If distance is your worry, LDRs work out all the time. I think you should tell her that you're interested. She must get be smarter and stronger than you think.

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Sorry, edit: "they will find a way to be together"

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Edit: "you two are both adults"

[CrystalLight]

The pain thing really stood out to me. Maybe I can help...

I agree with Dream_of_Waves, there's really no need to worry about the pain. I know exactly what you mean by that, too, as I'm in a similar position. I've seen it be called an emotional pull. Sometimes a very scary emotional pull. But anything that can cause us to feel so deeply can only be a good thing, right? Ain't love an amazing thing. Hehe.

If you are already in pain, in my opinion the best thing that you can do to help yourself is to talk about it. So why not talk about it with the girl you like? Sometimes pain just needs a solution. What if the solution is to talk to her about your feelings? If she feels the same way, maybe you two can then figure something out together?

Hope that helped

[Dream_of_Waves]

[MENTION=83908]Callos[/MENTION] I like what CrystalLight said when she called the pain of love an emotional pull. It puts everything into perspective. It's like your gut is pulling you to her but it's painful because you're not acting on it.

If this woman doesn't think you're into her then she probably won't act like she's into you. Some women just act like that.

[Callos]

I tell myself to cry whenever I can and I cried a decent amount of times while thinking about us.