Single for little over a year, thinking about giving 2nd chance. Male opinions pleas

[Jamxoxo]

Hello. I have been single for a year and few months now. My ex and I separated because I found out that he was texting another female calling her beautiful and what not.

The relationship lasted for about 5 months, but talked 2 months prior to dating for 5. He treated me like a princess, but I felt we were still learning how we communicate and all that entering a new relationship. I had previous trust issues and were working on them myself. I had laid what I thought was everything on out the table with him in the beginning.

About 4 months in I noticed that his behavior began to change. Skiddish when I would walk behind him while he was on his phone, phone being placed upside down, hidden phone and etc. So I had my suspicions. I confronted him about his behavior and he said he wasn't cheating or whatever. I didn't believe him because of his recent behavior and went through his phone. I found him texting and sending pictures to another female.

We broke up the next day and he had texted me that he stopped and cried in the middle of my drive way, while I went into the house crying. I spent countless of months trying to get an answer as to why he did what he did? He told me he didn't know and that he wasn't ready for a relationship. I eventually gave up.

I stopped worrying about him, but I still had to see him because he lives around. I would see him at different events and I could tell that he wanted to talk to me. He then got a "girlfriend" for a couple months while I was single and later broke up.

Between that he had deleted me on fb and such. Now after it has been a year he has added me back, sends texts to see how I am and all that. I still see him around and it has gotten to where we hug and have some conversation. My mom and everyone can see that he still has feelings for me.

From his behavior seems to me that he may want to be together again or at least civil?? I went into the relationship giving him the benefit of the doubt knowing I had my own issues. We all do, but when it becomes apparent that something is going on...then I'm going to ask. You tell me whatever, I'll take it and then see if it is a moment or pattern. I am able to leave my SO's phone alone, but why even be in a relationship with me if you're not going to do right by me. I'm being catious with him, in general. He knows he messed up. I'm kinda holding back on wanting to mention anything about a second chance because I dont want to look like a fool if it hasn't even crossed his mind.

Should I give him another chance? I don't know what he could possibly do to come back from this. I still miss him and he truly treated me like a princess, except for this one thing.

Do I reach out to him to try again or do I just let him come to me on his own terms? Ugh.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and sharing advice.

[Magician22]

Thanks for describing your situation in so much detail, it makes it a lot easier to give advice.

First of all, i agree with you that what he did is 'not done'. It seems to me that one of two things is happening here. He is either trying to date another girl without breaking up with you, so he would at least date one of you. The other scenario is that he feels insecure and seeks the approval of multiple girls to boost his confidence. Either way, since he messed up he definitely is the one that should make amends. I understand that you guys do talk and hug, so it's not like you're avoiding him. The ball is in his court, and if he indeed has those feelings for you he should take action. A second chance is something he has to earn. You're special, and should never be with someone that feels like your his second choice.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

[Jamxoxo]

[MENTION=84165]Magician22[/MENTION] thank you so much for the advice. That was extremely helpful to me. I have been beating myself up because once you hurt me, there's a wall going up. I thought that maybe I was being too tough and giving the vibe that he messed up and NOPE....dont ever ask to date me again lol The ball is most certainly in his court, I just don't want to wait around holding his 2nd chance and him not say anything...or be afraid to even say anything.