Advice please. Serious question

[HelpmePlease10]

Hi, so let me get straight to the point and hope you guys can read all of this and help me out.

So i have liked my close friend's sister for the longest time, but we never told each other how we felt and i always played it cool in person. Im 100% sure she liked me as it was very obvious. This has gone on for 6 years now. I never made a move on her because I didnt want to make it awkward for my friend and I didnt know how to have the conversation with him about liking his sister.

Fast forward to as recent as last year when we all went to the beach(me,her brother, her, and their little brother), she would try to initiate conversation with me, she would laugh at my jokes, caught her staring at me while i was laying on the beach towel and she smiled and turned away. While we were both in the water we locked eyes from a distance for a good 2-3 seconds. She then started mimicking me in the water by blowing bubbles in the water. I never actually tried talking to her one on one that day and now have deep regrets.

Couple of months later at a friends wedding we saw eachother again. She brushed up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder while me and her brother were taking pictures. She came from no where and was walking enthusiastically with her hips before she touched me on the shoulder. Later on her brother's friend asked her to dance with him not once but twice and she accepted both times and she would smile with him etc. I started to get a bit jealous and kind of ruined my mood for the day and this was supposed to be the day i wanted to make a move on her.

Fast forward to the end of the night, i was alone at the table and her and her friend came up to me and asked me whats wrong. The girl i like grabbed my hand and asked to dance with her and i went with her to the dance floor. She started dancing by herself and i made a joke how i cant dance and busted a move just to make them laugh. After a few minutes i left her and her friend hanging without saying a word and went to the bar and met up with some of my friends. I think ever since then she started losing interest in me. I caught her eyeing me from a distance later that night from her table while I was talking with the groom(my best friend).

So we dont really talk for a year since then other than me asking her to come to my house for a house party through a fb message but she actually had a concert that day and she wasnt lying cause it was posted on her wall and i forgot about that. She ends up not wishing me a happy birthday, which is rare because she always has. It could be because i havent wished her a happy birthday in the last 2 years coupled with the fact of what i did to her at the wedding. I then decide its time to forget about her and decide im moving out of state to pursue one of my hobbies that ive been into for a while and make good money at, meet other women and forget about her, but i just cannot i dont know why.

5 months into my new venture, a couple of days ago i message her for her birthday. She doesnt have her birthday on her fb profile, but i remembered her birthday and hopefully she liked that i remembered without fb having to tell me. We exchanged about 5 or so messages each. Her responses were always very LONG and detailed, but her reply time took hours and sometimes she just didnt respond that night and messaged me back in the afternoon the next day. She had many 'hahas' and general excitement with exclamation marks etc. This went on for 2 days or so and now she just stopped replying. My last reply wasnt a question, but it was a teasing joke that shouldve at least got a laughing reply.

My question to you, is what do you think of all of this? Does she still like me by any chance? I really liked this girl, and i cant get over her, even when i moved out of state. Its like i dont want to find any other girl. Maybe its turned into an infatuation, im not sure. Thank you in advance

[Hooo!]

What do you want?

[HelpmePlease10]

What do you want?

I want her to be my gf. Is that what you were asking? It's just hard now that I moved out of state. I can't state my intentions through a text or facebook message, that just looks weak.

[HelpmePlease10]

Can admin delete this thread or just the content of all my posts in this thread including the original post

[GLYC]

What happened?

The thing is you needed to make your intentions clear. That was your problem and what Hoo was getting after.

Right now you're out of state, so realistically, I probably wouldn't bother with things.
You needed to just ask her out.

Talk to your buddy about it beforehand, just be like, "hey would you pissed if I asked your sister out? I know it's going to sound crazy but I've always felt a thing for her", just so it's not a complete uttershock for your friend. In reality, its no big deal.

Really things just don't seem viable right now. She might have been interested in you, its hard to tell, if it was a random woman, yes, I would say so.
But with you being her brothers friend, she just may have genuinely been friendly. But how you acted, just leaving the dance floor without saying a word, sounds like a cold fish move. But as already stated, the real problem is you need to go for what you want in life.

[TheEvilJester]

I see you asked for this thread to be deleted, so I am not sure if you are still looking for thoughts and advice. I will just say, though, 6 years is a LONG time. If you were interested in her, you really SHOULD have made a move. Don't get me wrong. Good GRAVY, I understand how you feel. In the past, I've always been so unsure of myself that I am quite sure I could have had a very similar story myself. I'd always been WAY too shy to know how to ask women out and WAY too certain they'd want nothing to do with me anyway.

So in NO way am I meaning to judge you. I'm just saying, if you were interested in her you should have said something a long time ago. You could certainly talk to your friend about it first since it is his sister. It COULD be a little awkward at first, but as long as you seriously cared for his sister and weren't just looking for a hook-up, I can't see why a good friend would be completely against it. He could be worried for what could happen if you two didn't work out, but I think if you seriously liked her, he'd probably be okay with it, if a little cautious.

It is certainly possible she was interested in you.... but again, the fact that you did nothing in 6 years of knowing her, and even more the interactions you describe at that wedding certainly seem to reinforce a perceived lack of interest on your part. So, even though it wasn't your intention, it sounds like you may have given her seemingly obviously signs that you are NOT interested in her as more than a friend. It MAY be too late now..... but it also may not.

The biggest mistake you made was in not giving it a try. Maybe now you still can. Even if it doesn't work out, even if she was never interested in you as more than a friend, or could have been in the past but it is too late now.... you are so much better of knowing that rather than being left wondering what if. On the other hand.... what if you give it a shot and she IS still interested? Wouldn't future you want to kick past you square in the nads for even thinking about not giving it a shot? LOL!

What if is a crappy question to have to live your life asking. Take it from a guy who has made similar mistakes way too much in life. To the point where, though I'll always leave a window open for love, I've grown to think it just won't happen for me. I've grown to think my chance at happiness lies in accepting that and adapting (for the record, it's been working very well for me lately, but is still a touch unfortunate how I had to come by that happiness). If you want love, you shouldn't have to share that fate with me. Learn to love and appreciate yourself enough so you don't NEED love.... but that doesn't mean you shouldn't search it out.

Good luck to you. I hope you find your dream girl very soon, whether it turns out to be her or somebody else entirely. But, more than anything, at least give yourself a chance. You deserve that.

[HelpmePlease10]

I see you asked for this thread to be deleted, so I am not sure if you are still looking for thoughts and advice. I will just say, though, 6 years is a LONG time. If you were interested in her, you really SHOULD have made a move. Don't get me wrong. Good GRAVY, I understand how you feel. In the past, I've always been so unsure of myself that I am quite sure I could have had a very similar story myself. I'd always been WAY too shy to know how to ask women out and WAY too certain they'd want nothing to do with me anyway.

So in NO way am I meaning to judge you. I'm just saying, if you were interested in her you should have said something a long time ago. You could certainly talk to your friend about it first since it is his sister. It COULD be a little awkward at first, but as long as you seriously cared for his sister and weren't just looking for a hook-up, I can't see why a good friend would be completely against it. He could be worried for what could happen if you two didn't work out, but I think if you seriously liked her, he'd probably be okay with it, if a little cautious.

It is certainly possible she was interested in you.... but again, the fact that you did nothing in 6 years of knowing her, and even more the interactions you describe at that wedding certainly seem to reinforce a perceived lack of interest on your part. So, even though it wasn't your intention, it sounds like you may have given her seemingly obviously signs that you are NOT interested in her as more than a friend. It MAY be too late now..... but it also may not.

The biggest mistake you made was in not giving it a try. Maybe now you still can. Even if it doesn't work out, even if she was never interested in you as more than a friend, or could have been in the past but it is too late now.... you are so much better of knowing that rather than being left wondering what if. On the other hand.... what if you give it a shot and she IS still interested? Wouldn't future you want to kick past you square in the nads for even thinking about not giving it a shot? LOL!

What if is a crappy question to have to live your life asking. Take it from a guy who has made similar mistakes way too much in life. To the point where, though I'll always leave a window open for love, I've grown to think it just won't happen for me. I've grown to think my chance at happiness lies in accepting that and adapting (for the record, it's been working very well for me lately, but is still a touch unfortunate how I had to come by that happiness). If you want love, you shouldn't have to share that fate with me. Learn to love and appreciate yourself enough so you don't NEED love.... but that doesn't mean you shouldn't search it out.

Good luck to you. I hope you find your dream girl very soon, whether it turns out to be her or somebody else entirely. But, more than anything, at least give yourself a chance. You deserve that.

Appreciate the reply. The thing is I live so far away now, it's hard for me to tell her through a text, that just looks weak and screams insecure and lack of confidence especially since I've known her so long.

[Hooo!]

What are you going to do to get together with her?

[Snow White]

I was confused because I was positive I had replied to this, but then I checked and saw you had also posted this under ask a female. That is where I posted my advice.

[TheEvilJester]

Appreciate the reply. The thing is I live so far away now, it's hard for me to tell her through a text, that just looks weak and screams insecure and lack of confidence especially since I've known her so long.

That could complicate things. Is that a permanent situation? Or, at some point, will you two be geographically close again? And if the distance is only temporary, how long is it until you'll be back to her area, or her back to yours?

I guess I would agree that now you two being so geographically far apart, this wouldn't be the best time to finally give it a shot. So, if the long distance issue is temporary and will be short-lived enough, then maybe just wait until you are back somewhere closer together. If the long distance thing is probably never going to change, that may be an excuse not to bother since even if you two DID work out fairly well, it is hard to maintain a long-distance relationship. But, that is still really up to you. Again, I think the old saying is often quite true "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." In other words, it is so much better to TRY, even if you get rejected or in some other way it doesn't work out, then it is to spend a long time looking back and wondering "what if?"

[HelpmePlease10]

Evil I tried to PM you, not sure if it went through. I dont want this thread to keep on going anymore and hopefully admin can delete it? Tried pm'ing the admin but not sure if my messages are going through. I have 15 posts already.

[Hooo!]

Why do you not want to continue the thread? Is your problem solved?