Just broke up :(

[HolyHandicap]

Hey, first post here.

Well it's 9am about... The other night I didn't sleep at all because for some reason my girlfriend didn't call me all night. It's kind of unusual for her so I suspected that something was up. When I called her this morning and asked her what was going on she seemed kind of weird. Well I finally juiced it out of her, she had gone out that night to a club.

I've had problems with her in the past. She always insists on doing things in secrecy. I would always catch her doing things and then beg her to just tell me the truth. I am not the type who will go crazy or jealous if she wants to go hang out with her friends, however there were numorous times that she lied to me and went out and did something else. I tried to make it crystal for her that if she just tells me that she's going to hang out, then i'm fine with it. Oh yeah. she did cheat on me before by kissing someone on the cheek (hey, i consider it cheating).

Well I got fed up and today when she told me what happened I didn't really get mad. I just told her it was over and it's kind of weird because i'm not even sad. We've been together for over a year and I swear I thought at times I couldn't live without her. It's weird though, because now I know for sure it's over- i'm not taking her crap anymore, but i'm not even really sad.

Do you guys think i am in some type of denial? I really hate the glum feeling that usually follows break-ups and i'm waiting for it to happen. Still nothing... Is something wrong with me? or is the sadness eventually going to creep up on me? I guess I am pretty sad but not as sad as I would think I should be. I kind of feel that if this girl that i've been with over a year cannot even muster up enough courage to ask me to do simple things like hang out- and would rather make me feel sad, then she must not care enough about me? am i right or wrong?

Another thing is, I think I was losing feelings for her. This is going to sound real evil and messed up, but it's the truth. Well she was kind of annoying me. She is kind of a ditz and not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. In the beginning of the relationship i thought it was cute, but afterwards I started getting irritated by her... less-than-scholarly education. I also feel that I only stayed with her because of the sex....... Yeah i guess that's messed up, but there were times that I have thought that I was more afraid of losing the sex rather than her. O_O. Again, I know that sounds evil, but i'm just tryign to be honest.

Anyone experience something like this before?
Any opinions on whether or not you think it was good for me to dump her?


I'm pretty confused.

[shh!]

Offhand, I'd say it is wrong for you to expect her to ASK you if she can go hang out with whomever she pleases, as I assume you are not dating your daughter, and it is wrong to stay with a girl who's stupidity irritates you, and most people don't consider a kiss on the cheek to be cheating.

Good thing for her that you dumped her. You might want to try being somewhat less controlling next time. Oh, and the depression may kick in once your anger over how "bad" she treated you diminishes.

[HolyHandicap]

Oh, if you would have read it more thoroughly, you would see what gripes I have. It's not that she has to ASK me to do things. It is that if I ask her, what are you doing tonight? She will say something like, "stay home" and then I will find out from her friends she went drinking or somethign along those lines.

I guess I wasn't very clear on what happened w/ the kiss on the cheek. It wasn't like a friend kiss on the cheek. If it were her friend, I wouldn't mind. But she was all up on this guy one night and did it.

Again, like I said in the previous post. I am NOT the crazy type to be like, where are you at now, where are you going, and who are you with etc etc. It is more like a, "lets just be honest instead of decieving me when you don't have to". Lets just say you had a boyfriend and you ask him, "Are you doing anything tonight?" And he says, "Nah" And you find out the next day that he got piss drunk at a party. You wouldn't be upset? Another thing I would like to mention is, whenever she gets cuaght up... She'll lie first. For instance I will say, "What'd you do last night?" She'll say, "oh nothing, just stay home etc". and then I found out the truth etc. You have to feel me on this to some degree. I doubt you think this is an okay thing do you?

[shh!]

"kind of feel that if this girl that i've been with over a year cannot even muster up enough courage to ask me to do simple things like hang out"

That was the part I was referring to. I suppose the kiss incident could be subjective, but there is no mistaking your disdain for her stupidity. (This is not a criticism, merely an observation. I, too, would be unhappy with an uneducated partner.)

If things are truly as you portray them, she sounds like a compulsive liar, and I can't imagine why you'd be unsure about whether or not it is good to be rid of her.

[whaywardj]

If things are truly as you portray them, she sounds like a compulsive liar, and I can't imagine why you'd be unsure about whether or not it is good to be rid of her.

Or you sound like someone who didn't have enough confidence in her to prevent her from feeling as if she had to hide things from you. Either way, why bother with it anymore? You've already said it was (maybe) just about sex and you don't feel much one way or another about the break up.

I can't figure out from what you say what it is you really want. Can you?

[HolyHandicap]

Yeah. I'm pretty confused. Serious, work with me guys! Shh, I get where you're coming from when I said she can't muster up courage to ASK me to do things. I didn't really mean it like that.

I have given this girl the benifit of trust and I made it clear that I had a good bit of confidence in her willingness to tell me the truth. I feel that she took advantage of this (because she did it so much). Shh, I never thought about it but I seriously do think she could be a compulsive liar. One time she told me her father had lung cancer only to find out from her sister that he did not. Well, I pretty much have my mind made up... I just needed somewhere to vent my feelings

[shh!]

Best of luck to you, then.

[Late_vamp]

btw about the glum feeling afterwards ... i doubt it will come , because the SAME thing is happening to me ...i expected to be hurt or sad ...but im not even mad or even close to being sad... i guess it wasnt her after all ... maybe it was only the thought of you being single that made it seem like you coulnt live without her at times ... i think thats what happened to both me and you.

[Only-virgins]

I think it was time to dump her for you. Whocares...you got to bang her anyways right. Move on to the next one and do that till you are dead.

[fear_21]

shes being a *****, spit in her face and go, dont be a fool, i hate when girls do that.