Several Relationship Problems.

[vashti]

And if the Dr. tells her that she has to choose, whether to ease up or break it off, then she'll have to make the decision. I'd rather that than me have to choose because I'm trying too hard right now.

You don't need a doctor to do this. The reason your girlfriend is bullying and harassing you is because you have not set boundaries, and it looks like the idea of setting boundaries is so difficult for you, you are actually willing to *pay* someone else to do it. No wonder she is taking charge.

I think you need to learn to be more assertive. Appropriate boundary setting may save your relationship. At the rate you are going now, you are going to wait until your anger and resentment builds to the point of no return, and there will be no way your problem can be repaired.

PS - keep the girls out of your room. Her anxiety about that is justifiable.

[Aficionado]

You don't need a doctor to do this. The reason your girlfriend is bullying and harassing you is because you have not set boundaries, and it looks like the idea of setting boundaries is so difficult for you, you are actually willing to *pay* someone else to do it. No wonder she is taking charge.

I think you need to learn to be more assertive. Appropriate boundary setting may save your relationship. At the rate you are going now, you are going to wait until your anger and resentment builds to the point of no return, and there will be no way your problem can be repaired.

PS - keep the girls out of your room. Her anxiety about that is justifiable.

I agree...as far as the privacy issue, that is resolved. Now we're dealing with my friends. I have 2 super old friends...so if they come over, why can't we talk in my kitchen or something? My gf was like "we can make a time and date and we can all hang out together". I don't need my gf to speak to my other friends, even though we will all hangout as well, but sometimes, who cares..I just wanna talk and hangout for a bit.

[vashti]

How often are you hanging out with the old friends? BTW - these are FEMALE friends, right? Do they have boyfriends?

[run2white]

...but sometimes, who cares..I just wanna...

Could this be the crux of the problem? If you're not real concerned about your girlfriend's feelings or serious about your relationship (and I'm not suggesting you should be), then do what you want. She'll just have to get over it.

[Aficionado]

It's 2 old female friends, one of which comes to my house 3x a week because I personal train her and it's very professional. I even charge her. But after, if we wanna talk a bit, I don't see the harm. They both have bfs.

I'm very serious about the relationship, but I still deserve freedom to hangout with friends, regardless of gender. I've never cheated or done anything to wrong her, and by this point in our relationship, she shouldn't feel uncomfortable when I'm with a friend.

[Aficionado]

Would like to thank you guys..your input has helped and this problem has been resolved

[vashti]

Did you break up?

[Aficionado]

No..I stood my ground...told her that her ways were not normal, and I was unhappy with it and refuse to stay unhappy and act like a machine to fulfill your insecurities, so it's either going to change now or I leave.

But let me ask you something...my gf, like an idiot, when we were dating a while ago told me about her past...not that I asked..and every now and then she slips details about it because she doesn't think before she talks. And it really really gets to me..I have a hard time getting over it.

I don't know how to get over her past. It's a lot for me to handle and really affects me at times.

[fCukl0vee]

well put urself in her shoes. would u feel comfortable if one of her guy friends went to her house and into her room etc..
i noe i wouldn't if my gf done that.
and about her going thru ur msg's and stuff thats ****ed. probably need to sit her down and talk to her about it cos she sounds lyk shes got trust issues. maybe it was a past relationship or something. but it sounds lyk u love the attention huh?

[dsadsa]

Most people that are insecure and don't trust a partner in a relationship is simply because they do not trust themselves or had a past experience where they broke a partner's trust.
it's chaotic when you are in this kind of relationship because it will only get worse if you guys are not strong enough.
if you really like her and would go the distance to try to work this out than you should try to talk things out with her.
if you do not like her as much and think you can live life without her. then give her two options "never invade my privacy and accuse me or the relationships over.". if you do not see any future with this girl and you think you can get over her then you should end it with her because it's only suffocating you and hurting her.