Ladies- what if you know another girl is after your crush?

[lemonade69]

Would you step up your game? Or would you let her have him? Does this depend on how the guy reacts?

Just curious.

[DoesntMatter]

I'm a guy, but I would say go shopping for some raunchy clothes

[GrkScorp]

Would you step up your game? Or would you let her have him?

That all depends if you want him or not.. that's the only question you need to answer to see what you should do..

[GrkScorp]

Does this depend on how the guy reacts?

Yeah, depending on how the guy reacts, you should step up your game accordingly..

The biggest downfall girls take is their self-perceived nuke-bomb against other women, you may have heard it or used it before:

- "she's just cheap, such a slut, I heard she's easy, she's a wh0re, she's been around if you know what I mean, she's really dumb, she's not a real woman, blah blah, etc.."

In the best case scenario:

Girl A: nukes girl B
Guy: thinks girl A is being catty and jealous of girl B for some reason, so there must be more to girl B, and there must be less to girl A for her to feel so insecure

In the worst case:

Girl A: nukes girl B
Guy: thinks the same, only in addition to that, has actually believed some of the things girl A has told him about girl B, and is now less inhibited because he feels that she's not playing games and won't put up a prude-act (because unless she's REALLY been all over the place, she's not really a wh0re, and guys get it)

Maria's friend Barbra keeps making this mistake when she tells guys she likes that "Maria is a wh0re, she's has a new guy every week".. it not only comes off the wrong way, but in a relative sense, that move disfavors Barbra, because now in relation to Maria, Barbra needlessly requires more time, effort, and energy; whereas in relation to Barbra, Maria requires less.. and the downfall of this is that it actually appeals to the practical nature of guys.. so don't make the same mistake..

That's NOT stepping up game.. the reality of the situation speaks louder than words.. empty words don't count for anything, and they only have the effect of making YOU look bad..

So, instead of trying to call her names and paint this bad picture of her and try to take hits at her.. something that just shows not only him, but the rest of the world that "this girl is catty, jealous, and insecure".. try the following:

Raise the bar on her on purpose; and let him realize that she constantly fails to meet it, letting him on his own, come to the conclusion that he's all those things that you want to imply and point out..

Example: Let's assume that a person has a 3.7 GPA.. that's our only given fact.. now, depending how you frame the question, determines in what light this person shines..

- Positive light: (Setting the bar relatively low) You must be really smart, what is your GPA like a 3.5 at least I bet?

- Negative light: (Setting the bar relatively high) You must be really smart, what is your GPA like a 3.9 at least I bet?

This can be so addictive, that you can turn it into an art.. it is in fact an art.. Letting the guy feel like he's glowing through a positive light, but at the same time, totally unaware to your game, letting your competition shine through a negative light..

In other words, set up high, seemingly reasonable, but realistically unrealistic standards and expectations for your competition, and implant that super-ideal-rosy picture of her in his mind.. She can only miss the high target you've taken the liberty of setting up for her.. Everything she does from that point and on, is basically reaffirming the idea that she is not all that.. she's not that great.. she's actually less than what he expected her to be.. she's not what he thought she was.. and now he's unhappy with the idea of her.. she failed to meet those expectations and standards..

Yes, I know..

- Aww.. she's really sweet.. I like her, she's really nice.. doesn't play games or anything.. I hate girls that play games.. but i've seen her talk to other guys, and she talks to them the way she talks to girls.. I think that's the way it should be.. not being afraid to touch or be comfortable, I hate people that make it out to be this big deal and turn it into something awkward.. She's the type of girl that, when she likes a guy, she's not afraid to get flirty & touchy-feely with him.. and that's not bad, that's good.. it's just that some guys aren't used to girls like that..

The classic interest-killer that some really cleaver girls have tried to use on me lately have been:

- I think she has a boyfriend
- She's seeing this guy right now, they really like eachother, he's really cool, I think the two of you would get along really well, you have to meet him some time
- She likes really romantic/sweet/nice-guys (I love this one, it's so brilliant.. they set up the guy their interested in for a crash&burn mission, setting him up for rejection and allowing him to do the dirty work of killing her competition's interest in him, so she can have him all to herself.. brilliant)

In terms of Economics and simple Game Theory, i'd suggest something very simple, primative, catty, but oddly effective:

- You tell your competition that you think the guy likes her, be happy for her.. laugh about it, make it seem like it was totally obvious and a dead give-away.. At around the same time-frame.. use some device to suggest to the guy that your competition is not interested in him, guys like him, or is interested or seeing someone else right now..

This works in the following way.. (it kills interest on her part; she doesn't feel like she's any longer in competition with you, she feels like she won him over, the game is up, no more fun, boring).. On his part, (it kills interest because you increase his perceived risk of rejection, and because guys are practical, there's less motivation on his part now to go after someone who is interested in someone else coupled with an increased perceived risk of rejection).. The two forces work against eachother as your competition now thinks that she has him around her finger and in the bag; she'll try and toy with him to have fun by teasing him and to see how high he'll jump for her.. but from his point of view.. he'll feel toyed with, he's already lost interest, and will take it to be rude and frustrating.. it will kill interest on his part; and that's all that matters.. (you don't care that she might start chasing him to recover ego.. all that matters is that he's lost interest for good)

Also.. get some tasteful, cute, cozy, warm, feminine clothing.. Soft, warm, inviting, cuddly, clothes that make him want to touch you and cuddle you up in a ball in front of a fireplace.. (the art of drawing him in, while being subtle to not give off any red-flags to other women)

- Get a pair of Uggz:
[url]http://www.uggaustralia.com/ProductDetails.aspx?gID=w&categoryID=283&productID =5815&model=Classic+Tall[/url]

- Cozy Flip-flops:
[url]http://www.uggaustralia.com/ProductDetails.aspx?gID=w&categoryID=274&productID =1684&model=Fluffie[/url]
[url]http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisp lay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8L-224886&page=1&cgname=OSSHUCSSZZZ&rfnbr=4783[/url]

- Neutral easy-to-mix-match Scarf:
[url]http://www.uggaustralia.com/ProductDetails.aspx?gID=w&categoryID=284&productID =CW23&model=Ultra+Scarf+with+Grommet+Fringe[/url]

- Casual Look:
[url]http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisp lay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8L-169779&page=2&cgname=OSCLOSKIVIL&rfnbr=2259[/url] (Skirt + Bra-top)

- Tops:
[url]http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisp lay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8L-218344&page=1&cgname=OSCLOTOPVIL&rfnbr=2456[/url]
[url]http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisp lay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8L-218344&page=1&cgname=OSCLOTOPVIL&rfnbr=2456[/url]
[url]http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisp lay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8L-221579&page=1&cgname=OSPNKSPLTPS&rfnbr=4659[/url]
[url]http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisp lay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8L-221579&page=1&cgname=OSPNKSPLTPS&rfnbr=4659[/url]

- Bottoms:
[url]http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisp lay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8L-221502&page=1&cgname=OSPNKSPLSWP&rfnbr=4657[/url]
[url]http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisp lay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8L-221502&page=1&cgname=OSPNKSPLSWP&rfnbr=4657[/url]

- Shoes:
[url]http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisp lay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8L-220586&page=5&cgname=OSSHUCSSZZZ&rfnbr=4783[/url]
[url]http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisp lay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8L-207398&page=2&cgname=OSSHUCSSZZZ&rfnbr=4783[/url]
[url]http://www.ninewest.com/n/browse/product.s?productId=2919577&source=category&index= 0&prodIndex=0&listSize=15&categoryId=101001&codeNa me=SPOSOR[/url]

- If you feel like pulling it off:
[url]http://www.jimmychoo.com/pws/ProductDetails.ice?ProductID=39892&colour=Silver+M etallic+Leather[/url]

[GrkScorp]

Nevermind the Jimmy Choo shoes..

[BrokenPieces]

Step up my game. Usually what happens to me is I like a guy for months and suddenly a girl comes along and is just looking for a hot guy because she hasn't been in a relationship for a while, and picks out the one I like - in which case there's no way in hell I'm letting her have him.

[Mish]

In the end, giving an impression that you are unattainable turns out to work quite well for guys imo

[lemonade69]

GrkScorp, seriously, you never fail to amaze me with your posts. Unfortunately, the "she has a bf" does not discourage some guys..(even if it's true)

[lemonade69]

i have another idea. why not don't mention her at all. treat her like she's of no significance/existance. pretend you don't even notice she's competition. it indirectly sends a signal of "what HER?? nah. she ain't MY competition". she's chatting him up? join right in. be kind to her in front of him, but keep the flirts on. a lot of girls will see the competition and start the nuke bombs like you said. but KEEP being kind to her in front of him. if she says something rude straight to your face, respond positively and keep smiling. the more nervous/angry she'll get, the more nuk bombs she'll drop, and the better you will look in his eyes.

i think any sort of manipulation you use can potentially backfire. what if you tell him that she has a bf, and she talks to him and find out she doesn't? he'll question everything you say after that.

[vashti]

I pop into this thread because she is asking for advice from the ladies, and the males have taken over this thread with a wall of words.

Good luck, lemonade.

[BrokenPieces]

i have another idea. why not don't mention her at all. treat her like she's of no significance/existance. pretend you don't even notice she's competition. it indirectly sends a signal of "what HER?? nah. she ain't MY competition". she's chatting him up? join right in. be kind to her in front of him, but keep the flirts on. a lot of girls will see the competition and start the nuke bombs like you said. but KEEP being kind to her in front of him. if she says something rude straight to your face, respond positively and keep smiling. the more nervous/angry she'll get, the more nuk bombs she'll drop, and the better you will look in his eyes.

i think any sort of manipulation you use can potentially backfire. what if you tell him that she has a bf, and she talks to him and find out she doesn't? he'll question everything you say after that.

I think this would be a good idea. I myself never attempt to nuke girls because it backfires so easily, so I'm always friendly with the "competition" and never seem as though I see her as competition. Because in the end a guy wants a a secure, confident girl who can get along with people easily so he can take her out to things, and if I'd go around bad mouthing girls I wouldn't come off as that. Plus, it wouldn't be myself that he'd be seeing, but rather my jealous streak. And like you said, also saying something that isn't true about her is risky because he could find out to the contrary.

Good luck!

[GrkScorp]

i think any sort of manipulation you use can potentially backfire. what if you tell him that she has a bf, and she talks to him and find out she doesn't? he'll question everything you say after that.

First of all, your game plan will work just fine.. (personally not dirty enough for me though, but will work nonetheless)

Secondly.. LOL

It's true, it's backfired so many times..

But, to be fair, everytime I found out, I thought it was funny, because I saw exactly where it was going and why she did it, and it completely contradicted her "hard-to-get/disinterested" act.. (hence, why it was funny)

[bluesummer]

Hell yes, I would step up my game.

I wouldn't over do it and kill myelf over it though....because in the end, if he really prefers this other girl I'm not going to whore myself out to get his attention. It would probably make him less interested.

Yeah, I would act like you didn't know the other girl even exists, or that you really don't care. Keep up the self confidence. Don't resort to any kind of trashy behaviour....girls like that are a dime a dozen. Just keep his interest and another good one is pay close attention to everything he says to you....it will pay off if you can suprise him by remembering his favorite things or stories he's told you. It shows you care enough to commit it to memory.

[lemonade69]

Great, thnx!

[GrkScorp]

pay close attention to everything he says to you....it will pay off if you can suprise him by remembering his favorite things or stories he's told you. It shows you care enough to commit it to memory.

Don't underestimate this for a second..

It doesn't have to be elaborate.. during a conversation with a girl, I mentioned a quote I read somewhere "where words fail, music speaks".. just days later, she sent me something online that showed a music sheet, with notes on it, and that quote below it.. it was a small little gesture, but she got my attention..