I met her at the supermarket last week...

[Journey]

I was doing my groceries last Wednesday. I saw this woman in her cycling gear, and because I am a cyclist as well, I decided to go up and talk to her.

After exchanging pleasantries, I asked her if she would like to go for a bike ride sometime. She said yes. Without a pen handy on either of us, I took out my cellphone and asked her for her number. She then took out her cellphone, and non-chalantly asked me for my number instead. No problem.

About 10 minutes later, after I had exited the supermarket, I received a call from a number that was not previously stored on my cellphone. I decided to answer it. All I heard was the sound of a check-out counter. There were no replies to my "Hello?"'s.

After about 10 minutes, I decided to call the number back. It was her number. I left a message, saying that it was nice to meet her, that I called the number to see who it was, and that I was looking forward to a bike ride sometime.

Last night (Sunday) I called her and left a message. I asked her if she'd like to go for dinner one day this week - a day convenient to her - because I thought it would be nice to get to know each other a bit before going for a bike ride. I left her my e-mail address as well.

I have'nt heard anything from her. So, thats a total of two phone messages from me (one the night we met and one last night with my e-mail address).

Am I giving off psycho-vibes from calling back the 'unrecognized' number? Or inviting her for dinner? In a nutshell, is she playing some BS game when in fact she loves the attention? I'm giving it a week, and then its BA BYE. Thoughts?

Journ

[GrkScorp]

Am I giving off psycho-vibes from calling back the 'unrecognized' number? Or inviting her for dinner? In a nutshell, is she playing some BS game when in fact she loves the attention?

Psycho.., no.., not until after the 10th phone call.. for now.., you're still down to just desperate vibes..

You called her more than once? Why?

You left a message? What were you thinking? You NEVER do that!

Need more information.., but it looks like you seriously put some "desperate" spotlight on yourself.., and she feels that you're a desperate kind of guy who is interested in her.., the chase is up.., and she's no longer interested.., it's no longer interesting or fun.., the mystery is all gone.. boring she thinks..

You went from possibly attractive.., to mildly unattractive but still a last resort option in times of desperate need.. I wouldn't call back if I was you.., and if she does call back.., she better have a pretty good excuse for why it took her so long to get back to you..

Best,

GrkScorp

[Journey]

Dude,
I called her the night we met (#1 - Wed) and then last night (#2 - Sun). Both times I left a message. So leaving a msg makes you desperate? WTF are you supposed to do. Call n hang up ?

[bohemiandonut]

Yup. Or just don't call.

[AnotherPoster]

I doubt you will hear from her if you haven't already. Generally speaking, nothing tends to happen unless there is an actual exchange of numbers. If only one person is giving out their number, the purpose is defeated somewhat. Indicates lack of interest, laziness, etc.


I'm not a proponent of exchanging numbers, as I prefer to get to know the person first. Email is the preferable way of doing this. Even the best of people take a while to warm up to. Doesn't sound as if she warmed up to you enough during that brief encounter.

Going by your story, she doesn't seem interested. Or, she is scared of stalkers. You did give off that desperate vibe, like GrkScorp said. Yet, he doesn't mention that people play far too many games these days - not all of us enjoy games of that nature, but the majority does, it seems.

By the way, she probably called you to make sure her number ended up in the storage. Kudos to you for having the nerve to approach in this manner, though. Not all people do.

[Journey]

Why would she just want her number in the storage? So that I would potentially call n boost her ego?

BTW, after hearing these responses I'm p'd off. FYI , I was better dressed and felt good that night.

I feel like texting her now - "I really did think it was nice to meet you on Wednesday. I hope you're leg gets better. All the best to you in your career, cycling and in life."

[AnotherPoster]

For you to have her number. You did ask for it, no?


Or, to test how how soon you were going to call.

[misombra]

hey journ.

ummmmmmmm, no more text messages. just leave her alone. people are free to do whatever they want for whatever reason. leave her alone.

what happened to your last girlfriend?

[vashti]

I don't think you gave off a creepy vibe. She is probably just embarrassed that she was caught calling you and not talking. I doubt you will ever hear from her again. Don't continue to contact her, by either email or phone, or you WILL begin to look creepy.

BTW - I think it is annoying when people call and don't leave a message.

[Journey]

Mis O,
I 've never texed her! I was just thinking about it. Like I said, I've only called her twice since meeting her.

I've just deleted her from my phone anyways.

In retrospect, I thought high school games were over after 30...and by the looks of it she could have been even older than me. Oh well.

Mis O,
Its over with my gf. I felt I just wasnt ready for the Big M, and rather than drag things on, I ended it. She didnt like it, but I knew another 'bling ultimatum' would soon come down the pipeline like it had twice before.
Journ

[misombra]

wow. are you sad or anything?

anyway, there's lots of other bikers on the trail, you know?

[Journey]

BTW - I think it is annoying when people call and don't leave a message.

Thats what I think too vashti. Its not only annoying, but creepy, secretive, and weak.

Plus we are both in our early 30's -she may even be older. When I met her she DID agree to a bike ride, take my number, and call 10 minutes later. It now feels like she's acting from some dating rule-book.
Whatever.. I deleted her number.

[Journey]

wow. are you sad or anything?

Yes. There are times when I feel very sad that its over with my ex. Like right now.

[Gigabitch]

I think you did everything right, Journ, including the message. I freaking hate it when someone calls and doesn't leave a message. It's like they're pissed off that I didn't answer or something, and it's not like I can't see that I had a missed call. I think it;s rude.

So, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? You tried, and that's all you could do.

[bohemiandonut]

Yeah I guess you're all right about the no message thing. That was one of the many many things that pissed me off most about my last whatever she was.

But if someone calls you and doesn't leave a message, when you call them back, why THE **** SHOULD YOU LEAVE A MESSAGE WHAT ARE YOU CARRYING THE WHOLE ****ING RELATIONSHIP ARE YOU THE SOLE SOURCE OF ENERGY AND EMPATHY HERE? SHOULDN'T THERE BE SOME RECIPRO-FU*CKIN-CATION!?!?