What is it about human behavior and sorrow??

[Cain]

I don't know what funerals you go to where this happens. Personally, I avoid funerals because I don't like how "down" everyone is during them. I feel like an outcast simply because I'm not sad at a funeral... because I was good at controlling my emotions. I've been in complete control of them for the last seven years of my life.

[Dasein]

i only started to notice this when a funeral director told me this one time, actually it was an eye opener. I started to notice it with some of my family members. I think ye it is immaturity and inability to use logic. Some people love sadness (which is weird) but i wonder how many? is it in all of us at some point to feel such pity for ourselves to warrant attention (ie attention seeking). it is childish, but i find some traits never leave some people from childhood

I don't doubt that there are people out there that do this but what sort of a person would? They must be lacking in their lives.

I think some people like sadness but more often what I have seen is people LOVE drama. There are just some people out there who feed off drama in their lives. Of course I try to avoid these types like the plague because i don't need to add drama into my life.

[doppelgaenger]

You know, not all funeral rituals are the same. I don't think the example conveys your idea very well. In fact, in Spain, isn't it tradition to celebrate one's death?

[Cain]

Some cultures refuse to mourn someone's death. They celebrate the life instead. Some cultures have parties to celebrate the life.

[ecojeanne]

i guess its a form of masochism. I remember there was this girl i used to work with and no matter what, she didn't want to help herself. i was in charge of helping her do better, and the thing was, she was really intelligent and i gave her all the easy simple ways that everyone else took on board to improve their work, i'm very much a person for the underdog so no matter what i wanted to help this girl. but she was the only one who didn't want to help herself. She said she understood and knew that it would improve her work life but that she preferred to be hated. Now no-body in slightest way hated her, but it was interesting to hear her say that. She always said how bad she was but with a smug grin on her face at times. I asked her once did she enjoy what she was doing to herself and she said she didn't, but to me it seemed obvious she was enjoying her misery. It was weird.

[ecojeanne]

The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:





You're a siamese twin

Your brother attached to you... is gay

You're not

He has a date coming over tonight

You only have one ass

[Gribble]

I refuse to attend funerals. I think they are disgusting. Wakes in particular.

When I die I want to be cremated and I want the ashes dumped in the trash. No ceremony.

[boobaa]

I think there is actually more to it than just enjoining the sadness and just being sad.

I know a person who would watch soap operas and cry all the time when someone she knew died. I had to bear this happening. And that person rubbed herself all over the others, giving no-one the peace they needed.

Now, some psych tests tell me I am affected by sad things. I am not amazed but I don't have the right to say who I am and who I am not. But there is a difference between affection and enjoynment. I just let negative things affect me more than positive things, because I see something wrong and I need to fix it, have relief. It is sort of massohism, I guess, constantly focusing yourself to the problem. But there is this urge to do something about it, and then you realize you can't, and then you need to be punished because of your unableness.

I've been to many types of funerals. Some of them were very quiet while at others people were very talkative over funeral table.

Now I don't how how it is in USA, but giving a look at some people here, what comments they make, I am not surprised it is like it is. People are generally all for themselves, everybody needs to prove something, its the world of economy. And religion gives it more boost, because many religions have written morals about how it is right to act.

But then are the people who just burst to tears because they then realize what has happened. That its the last time they see the person, and that person looks so different from when (s)he was alive. And now its just an empty feeling (s)he has gone away somewhere and never returning. Yet there is hope that it really is so, until you realize again the person is gone and burst into tears.

[adam250]

There's many benefits to holding on to an illness. You get alot of attention that way. You have people feeling sorry for you. In some cases you don't even have to go to work.

[IndiReloaded]

I refuse to attend funerals. I think they are disgusting. Wakes in particular.

When I die I want to be cremated and I want the ashes dumped in the trash. No ceremony.

Funerals are for the *living*. They are important given that some kind of ritual exists in every human culture. I think they are an opportunity for ppl to say a final goodbye & deal with whatever emotions they might have about the deceased.

Some cultures have a party, some have lots of over the top crying (professional wailers, anyone?). Some are more somber. I don't think I would ever be able to judge how someone chooses to express their grief.

I am with Gribble. Cremation is good, straight shot back into the carbon cycle and no mess or smell to deal with. Turn me into the earth as fertilizer works too.

But I know that my family & others would need some kind of ceremony. So I'm resigned to that. In any case, I'll be dead, so its not like I'll give a crap.

[misombra]

in my family we do the rosary/funeral thing, then we go somewhere and party.