So, for any of you that have been following my break up threads you know the situation I've been in for the last month and a half. It was hard. Honestly, I felt more emotion in that time than I had ever felt in my entire life... combined. It hurt. It was just hard to believe that everything we had been through and everything we had done together was over so suddenly. And what made it worse was how she handled the whole thing. A couple of days before she was telling me that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and then all of a sudden it was over.
Her reasons were many. None of them were big. Personally, I think she was using them to try and justify it to herself. I don't know what she felt, but I really don't care at this point. I still love her and it will take a while for that to dissipate, but I'm no longer in love with her. I do know that a month after we broke up she was in a relationship, though I suspect it was as soon as a week after we broke up. She claims he had nothing to do with the break up but I don't buy it. The guy that she's dating now is someone she's apparently known for several years. It's a huge coincidence that they've known each other for that long and never talked about dating and yet are together a few weeks after we break up. Honestly, if another guy wasn't involved I don't think she would have broken up with me. I'm not saying it wouldn't have happened eventually. I'm saying that I think that it would have taken another guy for her to put her emotions in to make her do it.
I've also been told by someone that I had never met or even spoken to before that he dated her for 6 months while I did. The problem is that this is something that none of her friends or family can confirm. She, of course, denies it and says that the guy is delusional and that they never dated. I've asked him to talk to her and copy/paste conversations but he's yet to do that. I'm not sure whether that means he's full of shit or what. Some of the things he said made sense and really tied some things together for me, but then he's said some things that made absolutely no sense at all. Things he's said she's told him that were extremely messed up that she had never told me.
Anyways, I was feeling down for a while because she was everything that I was looking for. I had this huge list of things that I wanted in a woman and she fit them all... aside from her indecisiveness. But that was it... that I can think of off the top of my head. I kept thinking that my dating life was going to suck because I wouldn't be able to find someone that fit me like she did. But... I was wrong.
I met a girl on the first day of my classes. We're not dating... we're just friends. She's really the complete opposite of my ex in so many ways and for some reason it's drawing me to her. She's more attractive and definitely more my type physically. She's liberal. I'm conservative. But as I've said, for some reason it has drawn me to her. The discouraging thing is that she's not looking to date right now, which means that I'm likely going to have to settle for being just friends and most likely end up in the friend zone by the time she's ready to date again or I'm going to have to back off. I don't know if she's saying she's not looking to date because she really means it or if she's saying what most people say when they're single... the same ones that end up finding someone and changing their minds. If there's one thing I've learned, however, it's that I'm going to start taking what women tell me at face value. If they're lying... fine... but I'll just have to assume what they tell me is the truth. It was reading into things that made me so crazy with my ex, so I'll just assume that this girl really doesn't want to date right now.
A part of me just wants to try and play this game and see if I can win this girl over anyways. It's hard... because I don't know her and between work, school, and her other friends she's extremely busy. I'm not sure if it's really feasible.
And on a side note, my ex claims to be completely over me and has said that she and I won't be getting back together. I'm fine with that. I don't see us getting back together even if she hadn't said that because I don't think she'd be willing to jump through the hoops that I'd make her jump through if she wanted me back. Therapy would have been required. The one thing I don't understand is... she keeps checking up on me. She doesn't know that I know, but she is checking up on me. Every day that she isn't with her bf. It's only once per day, but she's still doing it.
I haven't read this post over so I'm sure it's all scrambled. It's late and I'm tired and I have to get up early. I'm just posting this crap since I'm actually developing now.