My little update...

[Cain]

So, for any of you that have been following my break up threads you know the situation I've been in for the last month and a half. It was hard. Honestly, I felt more emotion in that time than I had ever felt in my entire life... combined. It hurt. It was just hard to believe that everything we had been through and everything we had done together was over so suddenly. And what made it worse was how she handled the whole thing. A couple of days before she was telling me that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and then all of a sudden it was over.

Her reasons were many. None of them were big. Personally, I think she was using them to try and justify it to herself. I don't know what she felt, but I really don't care at this point. I still love her and it will take a while for that to dissipate, but I'm no longer in love with her. I do know that a month after we broke up she was in a relationship, though I suspect it was as soon as a week after we broke up. She claims he had nothing to do with the break up but I don't buy it. The guy that she's dating now is someone she's apparently known for several years. It's a huge coincidence that they've known each other for that long and never talked about dating and yet are together a few weeks after we break up. Honestly, if another guy wasn't involved I don't think she would have broken up with me. I'm not saying it wouldn't have happened eventually. I'm saying that I think that it would have taken another guy for her to put her emotions in to make her do it.

I've also been told by someone that I had never met or even spoken to before that he dated her for 6 months while I did. The problem is that this is something that none of her friends or family can confirm. She, of course, denies it and says that the guy is delusional and that they never dated. I've asked him to talk to her and copy/paste conversations but he's yet to do that. I'm not sure whether that means he's full of shit or what. Some of the things he said made sense and really tied some things together for me, but then he's said some things that made absolutely no sense at all. Things he's said she's told him that were extremely messed up that she had never told me.

Anyways, I was feeling down for a while because she was everything that I was looking for. I had this huge list of things that I wanted in a woman and she fit them all... aside from her indecisiveness. But that was it... that I can think of off the top of my head. I kept thinking that my dating life was going to suck because I wouldn't be able to find someone that fit me like she did. But... I was wrong.

I met a girl on the first day of my classes. We're not dating... we're just friends. She's really the complete opposite of my ex in so many ways and for some reason it's drawing me to her. She's more attractive and definitely more my type physically. She's liberal. I'm conservative. But as I've said, for some reason it has drawn me to her. The discouraging thing is that she's not looking to date right now, which means that I'm likely going to have to settle for being just friends and most likely end up in the friend zone by the time she's ready to date again or I'm going to have to back off. I don't know if she's saying she's not looking to date because she really means it or if she's saying what most people say when they're single... the same ones that end up finding someone and changing their minds. If there's one thing I've learned, however, it's that I'm going to start taking what women tell me at face value. If they're lying... fine... but I'll just have to assume what they tell me is the truth. It was reading into things that made me so crazy with my ex, so I'll just assume that this girl really doesn't want to date right now.

A part of me just wants to try and play this game and see if I can win this girl over anyways. It's hard... because I don't know her and between work, school, and her other friends she's extremely busy. I'm not sure if it's really feasible.

And on a side note, my ex claims to be completely over me and has said that she and I won't be getting back together. I'm fine with that. I don't see us getting back together even if she hadn't said that because I don't think she'd be willing to jump through the hoops that I'd make her jump through if she wanted me back. Therapy would have been required. The one thing I don't understand is... she keeps checking up on me. She doesn't know that I know, but she is checking up on me. Every day that she isn't with her bf. It's only once per day, but she's still doing it.

I haven't read this post over so I'm sure it's all scrambled. It's late and I'm tired and I have to get up early. I'm just posting this crap since I'm actually developing now.

[lesa]

Pardon me but your ex IS an asshole!

And she is checking on you to make sure you are still miserable. People like her don't want to see you happy. She'll contact you to see how you are doing and will be all nice and sweet. Initially the conversation may be going so well that it may lead you to ask for another chance. And then suddenly she changes the tone of the conversation to express her disinterest in ever getting back with you. That’s the end of the conversation and she hangs up but she may even continue that cycle for awhile.

That woman is crazy.

[shh!]

Delete her from your phone and quit taking her calls. I knew she was a cheating b*tch.

[1averagejoe]

Man...I feel for you. I know how you feel.

The hardest part I found about breaking up with my ex was letting go. That means delete that bitch from your phone, stop picking up her calls, texts, whatever. She doesn't exist anymore. Checking up on you? Wtf? Seriously Cain, why are you letting her do this to you?

She's ****ing nuts...just like my ex. She isn't going to change.

[Cain]

She's not checking up on me by calling me. The only call I've taken in the last three weeks was to confirm that she was sending me something back in the mail.

I don't know for sure if she cheated. The guy that said he dated her said that they had an online relationship. They have never met. So if there was any cheating, it would have been "emotional" cheating.

I don't have to worry about her trying to be all nice to me on the phone to keep me interested. It won't work because I already expect it. I'm not willing to take her back. I'm not willing to give her the satisfaction of thinking that I want to be with her.

[Junket]

Good shit, man.

[Cain]

Regardless of what happens with this new girl, she's helped me a lot because I realize that there ARE women out there that are better than my ex. Craziness aside, I really did love her personality. I was just unsure at one point whether I'd find someone that I liked as much as I liked her simply because of how picky I was and how long it had taken for me to find her.

But it's cool. I'm on the right track. There's another girl that sits behind me in my Human Development class that I'm going to talk to tomorrow. Just started talking to her yesterday... don't really know anything about her yet. I need to find out if she's even single.

I miss the relationship thing, but I'm just glad I'm over my ex now. For the first time since we've broken up I feel good... and I know it's because of the new girl... just knowing that there ARE women out there that I can find myself attracted to both physically and through personality. And that it won't be that difficult.

[Cain]

By the way, my post wasn't just about my ex. That situation is in the past and I was providing just a little update. My dilemma now is whether I should still try to see what will come with this new girl or if I should just step away since she says that she doesn't want to date right now. Her reasons for it are because of lack of time and she doesn't want a bf to tell her who she can and can't hang out with. So it's not that she wants to just date around... from what she's said at least.

[starbuck]

I think it sounds like you're doing great.

By the way, is that a goth chick biting on handcuffs in your new avatar?

[Gribble]

She looks to me like a girl who used to chew her fingernails but lost both her hands and had them replaced with hooks.

[Cain]

I think it sounds like you're doing great.

By the way, is that a goth chick biting on handcuffs in your new avatar?

Yes, she's got handcuffs in her mouth.

For some reason, certain pieces of art from a certain artist are fascinating to me. Luis Royo.

[starbuck]

Yes, she's got handcuffs in her mouth.

For some reason, certain pieces of art from a certain artist are fascinating to me. Luis Royo.

I wasn't familiar with this artist so I googled him. For some reason I wouldn't have pegged you as someone who would like this kind of artwork, no offense.

I like it, too. That's one mighty sexy batwoman he paints.

[doppelgaenger]

Be a happy ****er, and rub it in her face. Make sure you let her know that you are very relieved you don't have to lend your patience to her being the mental cockmonger she is.

And I don't like that guy's art. Personal pref. I used to be in the fantasy/anime stuff... but it is so commercial, and nonobjective. My favorite artist is Giorgio de Chirico. If you have an interest in art, you should check his work out.

[Cain]

I find it odd that I like it as well, but I do. I have a poster in my room of his.

[Cain]

Be a happy ****er, and rub it in her face. Make sure you let her know that you are very relieved you don't have to lend your patience to her for being a mental cockmonger.

And I don't like that guy's art. Personal pref. I used to be in the fantasy/anime stuff... but it is so commercial, and nonobjective. My favorite artist is Giorgio de Chirico. If you have an interest in art, you should check his work out.

I might check it out when I get a chance. Not much time to really check anything out lately.

And yes, ideally I would love for this new girl and me to start dating. Then a month or two from now my ex calls me telling me that she made a mistake and misses me and wants us to get back together. And then I can say, "sorry, but I've moved on. Have a good life."