Complicated Relationshipn Question

[JLynn01]

I have been seeing a guy for about 2 months now, once a week (usually on the weekends). We have a lot of fun when we are together, and we talk via text messaging EVERY Day. At least a couple times a day.

Saturday, he came over to my house to drink, and I had a few friends over. We had been drinking pretty heavily for about 4 hours before he got there.

I was being a little obnoxious, and I said some rude things to him, but I thought we worked things out by the end of the night, because we ended up having sex.

But... It is now Wednesday, he has not tried to contact me since Sat. I text him last night to ask if I was going to see him this week, and he text back to say "I hope So". About 10 minutes later, I text to ask if I could call him, and he never responded.

Finally, around noon today, I couldn't take it anymore, so I text him to appologize for Saturday. I said "I wanted to appologize for Sat night, I was really drunk, and I said some stupid things, and I'm sorry if I f*#ked things up between us." Now it is 6:30pm, and I still haven't heard anything from him.

This is killing me!! What should I do?

[carl1222]

You've tried to contact him and you apologized when you were wrong. I can't think of anything else you can do unless he reaches out to you.

As to why he has suddenly turned so cold to you, there are a number of possible reasons and unless he tells you, you can only speculate.

A few questions:

You said you were obnoxious and rude to him. What does this mean? What exactly did you say/do to him? Were you flirting with other men in front of him?

Is this the first time you had sex with him?

Was the sex warm and tender, or was it basically him getting on, "getting off," getting off and turning his back on you?

How did the evening end? Friendly or cold?

How drunk was he when you had sex? by the end of the night?

The answers to these questions may at least limit or confirm what is likely going through his head if he does decide to try to resume your relationship.

Carl.

ps ... having sex is not necessarily an indication that you have "worked things out."

[Gigabitch]

Wow. What a crappy place to be, JLynn. I feel bad for you.

Pleas pay close attention to Carl's last line up there. My opinion is that he decided to have sex with you and blow you off to punish you for being horrid.

Friends don't let friends call boys that don't call them back. I know we just met, but believe me, I am your friend and I want you to listen to me when I say put down the phone. Do NOT call that guy again.

[carl1222]

Wow. What a crappy place to be, JLynn. I feel bad for you.

Pleas pay close attention to Carl's last line up there. My opinion is that he decided to have sex with you and blow you off to punish you for being horrid.

Friends don't let friends call boys that don't call them back. I know we just met, but believe me, I am your friend and I want you to listen to me when I say put down the phone. Do NOT call that guy again.

I agree, Giga ... that's why I asked so many questions about his attitude during and after sex. That's also why I asked if it was their first time ... he might have said to himself "Hell, I put in the time ... she's drunk ... I might as well f**k her before I dump her."

Carl.

[Lite]

Uh, yeah. So pretty much every guy is insecure, has actual real feelings, self esteem issues, is somewhat jealous, and deathly afraid you'll discover these truths about them. You may as well have castrated him, and I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't just bang you like a screen door in a hurricane to recoup some of his self esteem after you beat him with it.

You calling him freaking out? Well, that's your own insecurity. You shouldn't ever apologize via text, email, letter, or phone. Just be honest, "Hey, can we get together and talk about what I said? I would like the chance to apologize in person." tends to work rather well.

Nope, instead you spazzed. Bad you, no cookie. There's a good chance you won't see him again.