Cat Destroys Relationship

[Aeradalia]

I guess the thing that bothers me with the OP's point of view, is that the cat brings her happiness and why would he completely disregard something that brings her this much happiness? Unless the OP were allergic, I don't see why he couldn't at least try to tolerate the critter. He sounds completely lacking in empathy, which is not a good quality to have in relationships.

I also think the girlfriend should have never agreed to give up the cat, and then gone back on her word because that most likely created additional resentment. She should have been more honest in the beginning, that the cat meant as much as it did to her.

He may not have disregarded the animal... she may have disregarded him in favor of the animal... that would certainly breed resentment. I have been with women that would ignore you in favor of their dog or cat... and believe me, it's not a nice feeling at all. If they want canine or feline company more than human company... then I figure they can do so all on their own.

Making any promise and then breaking it does create resentment... no matter how impractical the promise was.

[lesa]

He may not have disregarded the baby... she may have disregarded him in favor of the baby... that would certainly breed resentment. I have been with women that would ignore you in favor of their baby or child... and believe me, it's not a nice feeling at all. If they want to care for the baby more than care for the husband... then I figure they can do so all on their own.

My correction has nothing to do with the topic but I can't help but to think about the men who are in this phase of life--when the wife (mother) takes care of the baby more than the husband. The husband usually leaves complaining of marital issues. It makes me sad.

In this case, he should have never started a relationship with her. One of the first questions I ask a man is "do you like pets". He must say "yes", or "don't really care". If he says no, then I say no to a relationship.

[starbuck]

In this case, he should have never started a relationship with her. One of the first questions I ask a man is "do you like pets". He must say "yes", or "don't really care". If he says no, then I say no to a relationship.

Such a good point, Lesa. Why get into a relationship with someone who has a pet if you hate pets? You should never go into a relationship wanting to change someone. And if you do, be prepared for alot of heartache.

[Aeradalia]

He may not have disregarded the baby... she may have disregarded him in favor of the baby... that would certainly breed resentment. I have been with women that would ignore you in favor of their baby or child... and believe me, it's not a nice feeling at all. If they want to care for the baby more than care for the husband... then I figure they can do so all on their own.

That is very scary when you replace pet with baby or child. One for the fact that anyone would group animals and children on the exact same status... and two, that it reflects so poorly on a person who makes the distinction between animals and children.

I fear this conversation is taking a turn... that I simply cannot and will not... follow.

[Lipp]

And in conclusion we can use the analogy of you being my puppets, and Im pulling the strings.

[carl1222]

OMG ... I can't believe you broke off a wedding engagement over a dispute about a cat.

If you were even a little bit forward thinking, you would realize that the level of care she has for her cat translates into the level of care she would have for you if you needed it. I would be more inclined to break off an engagement with someone who owned a cat but neglected it.

You were engaged so I assume you think you love this girl ... but real love is more about compromise and accepting her for who she is, and less about drawing lines in the sand to get your own way.

Carl.

[lesa]

That is very scary when you replace pet with baby or child. One for the fact that anyone would group animals and children on the exact same status... and two, that it reflects so poorly on a person who makes the distinction between animals and children.

I fear this conversation is taking a turn... that I simply cannot and will not... follow.

First of all that was just a digressing thought I had. Secondly, no one has responded to my post about that topic until now. And now, I am responding because I don't understand one word that you said. You are making some strange conclusions.

I have worked in an animal clinic and I worked in a hospital, I can make many distinctions--whatever way you like. Just ask.

I have not given my opinion about pets versus humans.

We have mostly concluded that the couple is not compatible. No need to debate pets versus humans.

EDIT: I reread my post. I see. It does appear that I was trying to make a point about the topic at hand. That first paragraph was completely 100% off topic. I was thinking about a thread in the introduction section I think (I forget). It was about a man who was interested in his sister-in-law. The main issue that disturbed me was that he had given up on his wife after she had a baby recently. And I noticed that very same thing on several other threads. It bothers me. Your post triggered a thought so I guess that was the only weird link hehe.

Anyway...back on topic.......

EDIT EDIT: Wait...my post already stated that it had nothing to do with this topic....drama..

Where's my vodka?

[Dasein]

A child is a human... and if they are my own biological child... then the love and bond would be greater..

An animal is a piece of meat that may do some tricks... so yeah.. $800 is a bit steep.

Try all you might, I will not make the comparison of animals to humans... that's comparing a human to a piece of meat.

Just because you don't understand me doesn't mean that I am the worst person you've ever met... that is an assumption on your part. This is a lack of tolerance from you... not me. Feel free to shower love on whatever creature you like... and finances too if you want... but don't expect me or everyone else to do so or even understand you.

An animal is a piece of meat that does tricks??? Well I am quite happy to not continue any discourse with you. You have displayed a total ignorance that is barely comprehendable. Now it isn't just an assumption. It has been confirmed.

[carl1222]

A child is a human... and if they are my own biological child... then the love and bond would be greater..

An animal is a piece of meat that may do some tricks... so yeah.. $800 is a bit steep.

Try all you might, I will not make the comparison of animals to humans... that's comparing a human to a piece of meat.

Just because you don't understand me doesn't mean that I am the worst person you've ever met... that is an assumption on your part. This is a lack of tolerance from you... not me. Feel free to shower love on whatever creature you like... and finances too if you want... but don't expect me or everyone else to do so or even understand you.

You are so freakin' wrong on this point, Aeradalia, I am astounded!

I agree with you that humans take precedence over animals ... all the time, every time.

But to call the strong bonds people make with their pets as bonding with trained pieces of meat is deplorable. Shame on you!

Carl.

[Aeradalia]

An animal is a piece of meat that does tricks??? Well I am quite happy to not continue any discourse with you. You have displayed a total ignorance that is barely comprehendable. Now it isn't just an assumption. It has been confirmed.

You are so freakin' wrong on this point, Aeradalia, I am astounded!

I agree with you that humans take precedence over animals ... all the time, every time.

But to call the strong bonds people make with their pets as bonding with trained pieces of meat is deplorable. Shame on you!

Carl.

All animals are potentially food... just look at the different cultures that have chosen different animals to be pets and food. Facts are facts... pets are edible... and within certain traditions or desperate circumstances a human will eat a pet.. or an animal that is considered a pet in another country/culture. So I stand by what I've said.

The person with the pet is the one that gives more value to the relationship with the animal... but technically speaking... the animal is still and will always be potentially food for a human.

I did not grow up in the city with the idea of animals having 'rights' being 'like children' or anything like that. I grew up with animals earning their keep (like dogs barking and herding, & cats devouring vermin) or being livestock (like chickens, goats, cattle.. etc). Not to be mean or anything... but they all look the same on the inside.

And no, I am not heartless... I have had 'pets' that touched my heart... the honest and pure love of a dog is a wonderful thing... and cats do offer company when you are lonely. But they aren't humans... and I realize that in another country there are people that would just as soon eat the dogs I have kept as dearest pets. This is a fact... painful... horrible.. call it what you want. But it is the truth.

Would I eat a dog or cat... probably not... but I have been conditioned by my culture not to. Had I been raised in another... I probably wouldn't see a problem with eating a dog or cat.. if that were the norm.

I am merely stating the facts and holding to them... people believe there is more to it and they feel attached to the animal and so they define the relationship with the animal in different terms. Does this mean that the person who is bonded with the animal going to view the animal as food... ever? Not likely. But in spite of this bond... there is someone who would view that animal as meat... and technically speaking, the animal is edible to humans. That is the logic of the situation... that is the truth... sorry if I didn't use the appropriate euphemism to spare hurt feelings...

[IndiReloaded]

It was just a dumb post that I suspect dalia doesn't really mean. I am quite certain she must recognize that ppl get attached to all sorts of things. That, and the fact that many animals are quite sentient.

There are humans that eat other *humans*, afterall. So that's hardly an argument, lol.

[carl1222]

What if your culture said that eating humans was ok, Aeradalia? A moral stand should be independent of culture ... self thought, not followed ... think about what I said about lemmings!

Be honest ... could you really look at Lassie and see her as nothing more than "filet du chaine?"

Carl.

[Aeradalia]

It was just a dumb post that I suspect dalia doesn't really mean. I am quite certain she must recognize that ppl get attached to all sorts of things. That, and the fact that many animals are quite sentient.

There are humans that eat other *humans*, afterall. So that's hardly an argument, lol.

What if your culture said that eating humans was ok, Aeradalia? A moral stand should be independent of culture ... self thought, not followed ... think about what I said about lemmings!

Be honest ... could you really look at Lassie and see her as nothing more than "filet d' chaine?"

Carl.

Life molds us in many different ways... I am more of a realist and a survivor. I leave morality to those that want to ponder such things in great depth... it's not really up to me to make that ultimate discernment. I know how I was raised... and I know what 'feels' right, and so I go with that. If an action doesn't sit well with my values, then I try to weigh it against these standards and make my decision accordingly... just like anyone else. If I had given that much thought to morality and deep concepts like that... it would've destroyed me when I was younger. My view of life is for the most part... black and white... with only a little bit of gray.

I do realize people get attached to animals... and yes, animals have different degrees of awareness and learning capabilities.. but humans far surpass them in either downright capacity or development. I have had to make hard decisions in regards to animals... even had to 'put down' a few of my own dearest pets (pets that chased away the loneliness... brought me happiness in dark times)... because there wasn't any vets nearby, no money to save them, and just you and a gun and knowing this is the only mercy you can give them -- the only way to make the hurting stop. It's harsh, it hurts... but it's life.

Carl, I have starved many times in my life... I'm suppose to weigh 120lbs for my size... I weighed 75lbs when I was 19. Believe me, Lassie would've looked like main course to me. No, Lassie does not look appetizing to me at all right now... now that I'm healthy.

I have studied animals a great deal... I'm the first to want to visit the zoo.. nurse a sick animal back to health... and miss not having a dog or cat to keep me company at the moment. But I can never forget what an animal is in spite of the bonds we form with them.

That is the survivor part of me... and I doubt anyone would want to delve into my own unique psychology. So, it's best to end it here.

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, you are one of those ppl who can't admit they said something dumb and so will write entire essays to 'prove' your point. I actually gave you a 'graceful out' a post or so back but you don't seem to recognize such.

Okay, carry on then. Animals are simply dumb meat, put on earth by God for us to serve next to the mashed potatoes. Yum, yum.

You aren't related to Mish, by chance, are you?

[carl1222]

Wow, Aeradalia ... so sorry for your past plight.

Not trying to push you beyond your desired end point, but having studied the law, I know the distinction between intrinsic morality and desperation. That's why cannibalism is excused sometimes.

I just hate to think that your moral compass is somewhat turned toward your desperate experiences and away from what you know is right.

Carl.