Hi.
I'm 17 - becoming 18 in a few months.
Well if anyone wants to hear my story, here goes.
I have never been a "lady-man" really. I have never had a serious relationship or had a girlfriend.
But suddenly, out of nowhere in november 2008 a friend of mine, well, not really a friend back then, but I knew who she was and she knew me since we live very close and have gone to the same school for 9 years. Well, anyway, I heard from a friend of mine that she liked me really much and I was like "Yeah right" she's waaay out of my lead. She is this beautiful, popular, shy, emotional girl. The best girl in the world, really.
Well, I fell so hard in love after our first kiss that I couldn't even count to four if I had to. I'm not kidding. She's the love of my life and everything was going so ****ing great, we were fooling around a lot, had fun and my life was so great and I thought: finally it has happened for me too.
But in this time she had been foolin around with another guy too, and I knew about it, but we weren't exclusive so I thought I shouldn't say anything, but it was tearing me up inside everytime I knew she was with this guy..I can still feel the pain in my hand after everytime I punched the wall in anger.
But when I was with her everything was so great again.. but then suddenly she and that other guy got together. And oh my ****ing god I have never been so sad in my life. I think I cried for 2 weeks without stopping, my life was over.
This beautiful girl that I thought was gonna be mine was gone, sure, I'm one experience smarter, but even now I can't let this go.
I'm now best friend with her, but I still thinking what could have been.. everytime I'm with her I want to grab her, kiss her and be with her..
The worst part is that I never got the whole story why things turned out the way they did.. I've heard she told someone she sometimes didn't like my personality, but I don't know..
And my feelings for this girl is coming back so fast now everytime I'm with her and see her and I don't ****ing know what to do! I'm so in love with her, but I know that this will probably never happen..
I want to go back in time and kill whatever in me that made those feelings.
Anyone has any good advice about what I should do?