asked out by co-worker... but I have a bf

[girl68]

I do not have a fiance. You'd have to read the whole thread.

[IndiReloaded]

Well, was it a BFD or not?

[girl68]

Not sure what BFD is.

[IndiReloaded]

Was it the big [fill in the blank] deal that everyone made it out to be?

[girl68]

^ Not in the least.

Drank some beer, talked, laughed, went home.

[IncognitoSir]

Why is it a big deal here? He's not ur fiance is he?

that makes absolutely no difference!

[kai]

I only wonder why was she trying to defend this guy so badly.. no offence meant..

[Seradin DaCuir]

Thanks amy, however... I could counter that with the following statement:

What he doesn't know doesn't hurt. He would be just joyous to be at home playing videogames all night, alone. I could say I was out shopping with my BFF.

And no, I'm not a cheater- I know my limits and I play within it.

G68 from what I have read so far, here is my reply. Take it as you like:

1. No one here knows the scope of your relationship with your boyfriend. If the two of you have discussed in detail and at length the fact that it's ok to hide information from each other that could have a potential negative impact on your relationship, all the more power to you. If that is the case, then it's ok not to tell him you're going out for "beer" with another man.

2. Like it or not, all men are out for one thing. We never deny it. This guy's ultimate goal is to put his penis in your vagina. We don't take women out for beer if there is a slight chance penis won't meet vagina. Again, if this is an acceptable endpoint and you and your boyfriend have discussed this as ok, your set. Head out for beer. If somewhere in the future "beer" ends up with the penis/vagina thing, you and your boyfriend are ok.

3. Don't listen to anyone here, SERIOUSLY! You've already made your mind up. You're going to do it. You and your boyfriend already have established rules and guidelines. You've already indicated what your boyfriend's response will be if he found out. You don't need our permission. Your relationship sounds strong. It sounds like it is built for keeping things from one another from time to time and for the possibility of feelings and emotions derailing in another direction, which will have no impact on your relationship with your boyfriend. You have the relationship all dudes aspire to achieve in their lives.

Good luck!

[kai]

A lot of sarcasm in the above post lol

[girl68]

I wonder how beer ended up as "beer" when in fact it was just beer. Like you know the draft stuff that makes you burp- beer.

[Seradin DaCuir]

A lot of sarcasm in the above post lol

No sarcasm intended. Sometimes truth, honesty, and ownership of one's actions seems "silly" when spoken out loud. One of the biggest challenges and one of the cornerstones in any relationship will always be communication. If both parties (gf and bf) have already "communicated" their feelings, then these things won't seem so "sarcastic" when said out loud.

[DharmicLove]

Pretty typical.

This dude I worked with asked me to join him and a few co-workers for the typical "after work Friday beer" I declined that week. I said next time, I'm down!

So today he goes, when we going for a beer, I haven't forgotten! I said next time, I'm in! So he just sent an email saying: "Up for a drink after work on Friday?" Thinking this was the usual "after work Friday beer" with him AND a few co-workers, I said Yeah, sure!

Then he responds with: Did you want to stay in Richmond? Where do you live?

So then I thought, my it's sounding more and more like a "date" and it will only be just the two of us. I ask our mutual co-worker who is his friend and she said yeah, he's probably interested you're his type. I'm like shit. He's cool and all but I don't want him thinking I'm accepting this as a "date" nor thinking I'm available/ interested. She suggest I drop a bf line. So I respond with: "I can't get too wasted, the bf and I have a hockey game to play later!"

He says that's cool, he's also got a "date" later too.

So I've accepted, and he's learned I'm not single... Now is saying (to my bf) I'm out for a beer with some co-workers okay, or must I specify that there will only be one co-worker, and that co-worker is male?

Thoughts, please!

Well, if you really love and like your boyfriend you wouldnt go. Either way you look at it, when you tell him the truth, he's not gonna like it. YOU MUST SPECIFY!! Because if you lie to him and he finds out later on down the line, thats just more drama.

[IndiReloaded]

Holy cow. She already went guys. Strangely, I missed the big announcement on the 6pm news.

Anyway, I thought you did tell your BF, Girl.

I only see this as a problem if this is a repeat thing. Wasn't the point that you couldn't cleanly extract yourself after you found out it was just gonna be him?