Shall I be offended?

[lightning]

Ok ok here is an UPDATE..kinda a big one..
We havnt been talking today and then suddenly he sent me a song before 15 mins of me leaving and then asked me if I'm leaving so we can leave together.. and I said "I have to stay late because I have some work to finish"
and so he said "ok see you babe"
and I got a bit confused and told him not to call me babe and he said "its only a friend thing"
then I said "but I prefer to keep the name to special someone"

And then we talked a little (like 3 mins) and then before he left he said again "lol..see you babe....Sorry in advance for that!!!" and he left.

I dont know, could he know that I have crush on him? and if he already knows why do I need to tell him?

pisces should I take things slow? >.<

[pisces7378]

No he does not KNOW that you have a crush on him. He is probably at home right now thinking, I wonder if she knows I have a crush on her. This guys is making all the right moves. Guys who are absolutely NOT interested in a woman would never call them playful names like "babe" because they would be afraid that the girl would take it the wrong way and embarrass both of them with some proclamation of love. I mean, unless you guys are like BEST FRIENDS from high school. Then sometimes guys get comfortable enough with a girl to call her "babe" or whatever with no fear of misunderstanding.

He likes you. You like him. Just tell him. Don't text him. Don't write him an email. Just tell him. If you text or email or whatever, then you have to wait for a response, and that can be terrible. Just take a deep breath. Realize that none of this really matters. And walk right up to him and do it. He'll go for it.

[lightning]

Hehehe, ok Pisces I will try my best tomorrow but hey dont blame me if I couldnt, I already gave him big hints.
But here I wanna keep you updated here. actually I would love to if you dont mind

[IndiReloaded]

oh he wants to bed you for sure...and thats it...all that sugar coated talk is to help you along.....your choice.

I agree with Bee. This guy is a 'take it or leave it' sort. He's fine being your friend, fine being more, but he is NOT emotionally invested in having a romantic relationship. Watch out, this is the kind of 'friend' that will shred you without a second thought. "Your choice" and all that.

[lightning]

duh back to the same swirl again..

[pisces7378]

I agree with Bee. This guy is a 'take it or leave it' sort. He's fine being your friend, fine being more, but he is NOT emotionally invested in having a romantic relationship. Watch out, this is the kind of 'friend' that will shred you without a second thought. "Your choice" and all that.

You have to keep in mind that what these people (including myself) write on this website, it JUST OUR OPINION!!! We do not know you. Hell I can't even tell by the little flag, what country you are from. We do not know the guy. And we certainly can't see how you guys are with each other.

You basically have to watch with VERY OPEN EYES to see how someone is. I know you like him, so it can be hard to really see someone for who they are once your heart gets involved. But you have to watch him, and see how he interacts with other ladies. If he is calling every lady in the office "babe", and stops by everyone's desk for a chat, then I'd say sure, he is one of those guys that plants little seeds all over the office and just waits for one of them to grow into something and then goes for that. If that's the case, then he is a dirt bag, and you should ignore him.

But if he is shy, and not so talkative, but just seems to be interested in talking to you, and wants to leave work together etc... then I say screw that... he's genuinely interested in you and is just not forward enough to drop at your knees. Believe it or not, some men can't make the first move.

Another method would be to go to a bar with him. Get three pints into him, and then watch what happens. If he still just wants to talk about football and office gossip... FRIEND-ZONE, but if he touches your arm, or puts his hand on your shoulder and leans in to say something to you... HE'S INTO YOU!!!

So invite him all friendly like to the pub, and let the games begin.

[IndiReloaded]

Pisces, get a grip. You said it yourself, its the internet. I simply stated my own opinion from years of experience and that I agree with Bee. You are showing your own immaturity and inexperience by taking issue with my post. You are in your early 20s I guess? So, ya, I'm a lot older than you are, FWIW.

BTW, writing in caps is considered bad forum/e-mail etiquette. Its like shouting and anyone who gets that worked up over the internet probably has some emotional issues.

[pisces7378]

Pisces, get a grip. You said it yourself, its the internet. I simply stated my own opinion from years of experience and that I agree with Bee. You are showing your own immaturity and inexperience by taking issue with my post. You are in your early 20s I guess? So, ya, I'm a lot older than you are, FWIW.

BTW, writing in caps is considered bad forum/e-mail etiquette. Its like shouting and anyone who gets that worked up over the internet probably has some emotional issues.

(Laughing) Whatever dude. First of all, I'm in my mid-30's, and I wasn't "taking issue" with your post. I don't have a clue who you even are. I found this forum two or three days ago.

I'm certainly not "getting worked up" and as far as I can tell, I don't have any "emotional issues". I am just trying to offer some support to a woman that I can tell wants to ask this guy out, but needs some support. And I don't think that telling a stranger that some guy (that you yourself have never met) just wants to sleep with her is very helpful.

I apologize if I came off rude or whatever, I just think that this situation is complicated enough for this girl without you making unfounded sweeping generalizations about him just wanting her for sex.

But whatever.

[Bumble_bee]

I heard that a very big percentage of relationships start in the work place, and this guy doesn't sound like he is short of confidence, if he wanted something more meaningful, in my experience he would have gone for it by now.....

unless you are ok with being a) rejected, or b) up for an office fling, then you really ought to try and get over this....

[pisces7378]

I heard that a very big percentage of relationships start in the work place, and this guy doesn't sound like he is short of confidence, if he wanted something more meaningful, in my experience he would have gone for it by now.....

unless you are ok with being a) rejected, or b) up for an office fling, then you really ought to try and get over this....

You might be right. I don't want to be some know it all. I am only coming at this from my own personal perspective. And from my own personal perspective, trust me... not all guys are like you read about.

I am an extremely confident person. I could walk right up to the President of the United States and wouldn't even be short of things to talk about. I give a lot of public speaking events, and never even get butterflys. I have played the guitar in the same band for 17 years, and when we go on tour to support a new record, I don't even have the slightest hick-up of nerves.

But if you ask me to call a 21 year old waitress that I am trying to just ask out on a date... I turn into a weak-hearted pussy-hole. Sure I ACT confident around her. But inside, I would just give ANYTHING for her to make the first move.

So yes, sometimes men that parade around the office like they are the most confident thing on Earth, are inside dying for that special someone to just talk to them first.

[Bumble_bee]

You might be right. I don't want to be some know it all. I am only coming at this from my own personal perspective. And from my own personal perspective, trust me... not all guys are like you read about.

I am an extremely confident person. I could walk right up to the President of the United States and wouldn't even be short of things to talk about. I give a lot of public speaking events, and never even get butterflys. I have played the guitar in the same band for 17 years, and when we go on tour to support a new record, I don't even have the slightest hick-up of nerves.

But if you ask me to call a 21 year old waitress that I am trying to just ask out on a date... I turn into a weak-hearted pussy-hole. Sure I ACT confident around her. But inside, I would just give ANYTHING for her to make the first move.

So yes, sometimes men that parade around the office like they are the most confident thing on Earth, are inside dying for that special someone to just talk to them first.

a guy running around the office using the same terms of endearment to everyone with a skirt...is looking for one thing usually... unless this guy shows her a little more than what he dishes out to the other chicks in the office, she should not look into it further, unless she is interested in something light and not too serious....

reading her posts, I sense she would be uncomforatble making the first move, and possibly making a fool of herself, so why waste time, you're either gonna go for it or not.

work place flirting is very common, not to be taken too seriously unless the 2 parties involved give clear hints towards liking eachther. what you are talking about seems less likely to me...but of course it is a possility....

but it's great that the OP can come here and get different perspectives on this don't you think?....nobody is right here...we just try to apply experience in what we say.

[pisces7378]

Bumble Bee...

You may be 100% correct. I didn't see anywhere in her posts that he acted like that with anyone else but her. Sure if the dude is one of those cheese-balls that walks around the office pointing at people and winking, or always has that stupid clever thing to say to every lady that he sees... then kick him in the balls and stand over him laughing.

I just had a different image in my mind of a shy guy who found someone he can be friendly with but would actually like something more, but isn't able to make it happen.

Anyway... good luck lightning. Do whatever you want to do, but always be prepared. Hope for the best, and even EXPECT the best. But be prepared that he doesn't like you the same way.

[IndiReloaded]

I just had a different image in my mind of a shy guy who found someone he can be friendly with but would actually like something more, but isn't able to make it happen.

Precisely^. So, given you don't have any more information than we do on this situation there isn't much point critiquing Bumblebee's opinion or the fact I happen to agree with her.

You come off as someone who doesn't like to have his opinion challenged, Pisces. I hope I'm wrong, but if not, welcome to [Tough] Love Forum.

[pisces7378]

Oh my... you really are a laugh. I could care less about your opinion, or how you have hi-jacked this thread to turn it into a rant about me and your psychoanalysis of the 10 or so posts I have made on this thread.

Please just drop it, so Lightning can hopefully benefit. You seem to post a lot on this forum, so I'm certainly not going to argue with the big kid on the block. I think I have said something like "I might be wrong... or This is only my opinion..." in almost every post I made on this thread, but you have somehow decided that I don't like to be challenged.

Whatever... back to Lightning.

[IndiReloaded]

What was it then, you were doing in this post?

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