Shall I be offended (episode two )

[lightning]

Ok so its episode two, because as some of you know , this is a story about the guy who is my best friend and coworker and I got crush a sudden crush on him, so he began to do harmless flirts until I told him I like him (as some people adviced me here) and the tragedy was when he ignored and changed the topic.

*takes a deap breath* I'm not the clingy type person so I eventually I got to accept that I was rejected. Was I disappointed? Yes!! VERY disappointed , I even kept saying "its ok, I'm fine , I'm fine, I'm TOTALLY FINE." until finally I bursted into tears. but few days passed and I felt under control again , you know I dont feel I need him or I miss him or crappy anymore, its not that hurtful crash anymore. (dont get me wrong, I still like him but I mean I really accept it as is able to like someone else eventually)

if you want to know something about me, then the best thing I can be defined with is "ego", I dont chase, never smother, and thats something I'm very proud of. because it saves my face for later times.

now to get it short, I made him a website for his work, and he was so excited and happy and we are working together on that site, actually I made it for free, dont ask me why!! honestly I felt I was able to give something special on my free time.

Now all this is ok, but the problem is that guy still acting so weird in A VERY noticed way, I mean ok I can understand we are just friends and I stopped reading between the lines, and I'm trying to be less close to him, but each day at work he asks me before we leave if we can leave together (Guys he do it daily, not like one time chance!!).
Not only that! today he came to my office and even though I'm the one who was turned down , I still acted very cool and nice and even jokes, but him is being very weird and nervouse . You know he is suddenly shy and he is always having those annoying long and hesistated pauses when he talk , you know he gives the air a very awkward feelings (like so nervouse you can read it very clearly)so I laugh to break the awkwardness, keep joking and try to act cool and a bit careless.

today he was so hesistant when he came to my office, and then again he said, "when are you leaving?" and I told him "like useual" he said "ok then if you dont mind we can go out together"..the surprising part is when time came to leave, he was already gone without even waiting..
What the hell is going on his side? I mean guys you know how guys act. for god sake someone explain to me...

and should I act cool that he forgot, I'm planing to act like I didnt notice he was gone..is that the right behavior?

[FullofSighs]

It depends, if he is really that shy, acting like you didn't realize he was gone would shut him down. From what you say it sounds like he does like you, just doesn't know how to show it, probably the reason why he left without waiting for you. He may have been to scared to wait and see what happened. Now you can either forget about him, other than workwise, or try to break his shyness.

[lightning]

Yes thanks for replying FullofSighs,
actually I got a weird message from him at midnight (he doesnt useually sends messages to my mobile)
the message said "you just cant imagine how much you mean to me..you're the first person that got that close to my life"
I got shocked and surprised
This is a complicated case

[hopefulunsure]

I'm going to go on a flyer here and say it could be that he's also got someone else. Or maybe even there is a possibility of him being with someone else. Thats usually the case when I've heard this sort of thing. The other has been that the guy does like you, likes being close to you, but he's gay and hasn't come to terms with it yet.

Next time he drops by your desk tell him you've got to sneak out 5 mins early as this guy you met on the train/bus/subway that morning is taking you for a drink. His reaction will tell you all you need to know.

[lightning]

he's gay and hasn't come to terms with it yet? what does this mean?
Honestly I thought he's gay before but he got really angry when I went around the gay topic before and he even ranted and said "do I look like gay to you?", and I told him nope, but the way you defend them is also weird.
Oh dont tell me he's gay I will be disappointed..

[FullofSighs]

I don't think he is gay, and the "he's gay and hasnt come to terms with it yet" means that he is gay inside but really hasn't faced that fact or realize that he is gay.

[RomantiGoth]

to me it sounds like he likes you... Or at the very least is interested in getting to know you better...

But be observant - he might just like you because he knows that you like him! But still, try it on for fun - it might lead to something good and nice

[FullofSighs]

Yeah, exactly. Sometimes like that you have yo to be the one doing the asking out and stuff like that. Its really one of the only ways to break his shyness

[LatinoItaliano]

Ok so its episode two, because as some of you know , this is a story about the guy who is my best friend and coworker and I got crush a sudden crush on him, so he began to do harmless flirts until I told him I like him (as some people adviced me here) and the tragedy was when he ignored and changed the topic.

*takes a deap breath* I'm not the clingy type person so I eventually I got to accept that I was rejected. Was I disappointed? Yes!! VERY disappointed , I even kept saying "its ok, I'm fine , I'm fine, I'm TOTALLY FINE." until finally I bursted into tears. but few days passed and I felt under control again , you know I dont feel I need him or I miss him or crappy anymore, its not that hurtful crash anymore. (dont get me wrong, I still like him but I mean I really accept it as is able to like someone else eventually)

if you want to know something about me, then the best thing I can be defined with is "ego", I dont chase, never smother, and thats something I'm very proud of. because it saves my face for later times.

now to get it short, I made him a website for his work, and he was so excited and happy and we are working together on that site, actually I made it for free, dont ask me why!! honestly I felt I was able to give something special on my free time.

Now all this is ok, but the problem is that guy still acting so weird in A VERY noticed way, I mean ok I can understand we are just friends and I stopped reading between the lines, and I'm trying to be less close to him, but each day at work he asks me before we leave if we can leave together (Guys he do it daily, not like one time chance!!).
Not only that! today he came to my office and even though I'm the one who was turned down , I still acted very cool and nice and even jokes, but him is being very weird and nervouse . You know he is suddenly shy and he is always having those annoying long and hesistated pauses when he talk , you know he gives the air a very awkward feelings (like so nervouse you can read it very clearly)so I laugh to break the awkwardness, keep joking and try to act cool and a bit careless.

today he was so hesistant when he came to my office, and then again he said, "when are you leaving?" and I told him "like useual" he said "ok then if you dont mind we can go out together"..the surprising part is when time came to leave, he was already gone without even waiting..
What the hell is going on his side? I mean guys you know how guys act. for god sake someone explain to me...

and should I act cool that he forgot, I'm planing to act like I didnt notice he was gone..is that the right behavior?

I'd seriously let it go.

Above all else, it's never smart to go out with someone you work with! It can come back to bite you in the butt if things go downhill in the relationship!

Maybe that's what he's scared of? Who knows. Or maybe he's homosexual yet does not want to say so because he thinks you'll spread that info around the workplace...?

Not saying he is, but the way he's acting, it's kind of strange. Guys do not act alike. Remember, we are individuals. I'd not do what he's doing to you, and I am a guy! I'd tell you straight out the reason why I turned you down (most likely because I'm weary of dating someone I work with!).

So, anyway, he seems pretty rude already by not communicating openly with you, so that right there should tell you he's not mature enough for a relationship yet. Right?

Again, I'd just let it all go and look elsewhere! Good luck to you!