Making the Right Decision

[whitedragon20na]

To start off, I've posted here several times asking for advice over the span of about five years now. This problem involves the most recent person I brought up here.

Here's a little back story... I've known this girl for two years, my friend introduced me to her after she'd known her for about five months. Over the past two years she's become my best friend and someone who I keep telling myself I'll wait for to make up her mind because I've spent two years building a relationship with her and she treats me better than anyone else ever has.

The problem is that she's in love with my friend (who introduced the two of us, and both of them are female) and she keeps hanging onto that even though there's no chance of them being together like that.

After knowing her for two years, taking her to her prom last year and having her come visit me here last month, I decided today to end our friendship.

I'm completely in love with her, and have been ever since after I first went and saw her. I know she loves me, but as a friend and nothing else right now. The issue is that after so long of waiting and dealing with things, it's as if I'm waiting for a lost cause.

I know there are plenty of you that will say that she's just one person and all that, but it's very, very difficult for me to even make friends let alone meet someone I could be with. She's put up with all my crap, she's stuck around when others haven't and even though she's very confusing with it at times, she shows she cares. Unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to get over it unless I let her go, which is why I decided to do so today.

She is/was my best friend and someone I could always count on, someone who was always there for me.

I just don't know if it was the right decision.

[lovedoctor007]

If she doesn't give you the signals she wants to be your girlfriend then you would probably mess it up. Try to look her close in her eyes while acting subliminal sexual, if she avoids your eye contact then it is not good, try to put yourself in her situation, if a guy did the same thing to you as you do to her you would react in a different way, but if a g.ay dude was in your place he would have responded to the other dude )
It's a hard metaphor but very precise

[whitedragon20na]

If she doesn't give you the signals she wants to be your girlfriend then you would probably mess it up. Try to look her close in her eyes while acting subliminal sexual, if she avoids your eye contact then it is not good, try to put yourself in her situation, if a guy did the same thing to you as you do to her you would react in a different way, but if a g.ay dude was in your place he would have responded to the other dude )
It's a hard metaphor but very precise

I don't understand what you mean.

She's in love with Monica, my other friend who introduced us and I'm a guy.

Tiffany, the girl I'm in love with is/was my best friend, but Monica is Tiffany's best friend.

It's a very confusing mess, but I don't think I can wait anymore.

[bloodtippedrose]

Is she a complete lesbian and youre putting her in an awkward situation or is she bi?

You should lay it straight out with her before you cut off complete contact. Tell her exactly how you feel about her and why you think its best, if theres no chance of a relationship between you two, to disconnect from her 100%.
If you tell her this and shes still making excuses about liking monica or whatever, then give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her she was an awesome friend.
I like your all or nothing approach, because being a best friend would be heartache and even worse if you watch her date other people.
If you leave her it will only hurt for a little while before you get passed it, but if you stay with her and she has already told you no way, then that is forever pain.

I think youre making the right decision but hey, Im just an ultimatum kindve person...

[whitedragon20na]

Is she a complete lesbian and youre putting her in an awkward situation or is she bi?

You should lay it straight out with her before you cut off complete contact. Tell her exactly how you feel about her and why you think its best, if theres no chance of a relationship between you two, to disconnect from her 100%.
If you tell her this and shes still making excuses about liking monica or whatever, then give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her she was an awesome friend.
I like your all or nothing approach, because being a best friend would be heartache and even worse if you watch her date other people.
If you leave her it will only hurt for a little while before you get passed it, but if you stay with her and she has already told you no way, then that is forever pain.

I think youre making the right decision but hey, Im just an ultimatum kindve person...

First off, she's bi... as far as we all know, seeing as she's never been in a relationship with anyone and she's still a virgin. I was the first person she'd ever kissed (when I went to take her to her prom).

She knows how I feel, she's known since I did. Every time I've asked about whether or not it would be possible, she always tells me she doesn't know. I never get a yes or no response from her because she says she really doesn't know.

[bloodtippedrose]

Okay I say its time to break it.

Give her one last chance to say yes, try to convince her to just TRY it out. maybe plan out a big date before hand (assuming if you're old enough to drive and have some money :/ ) This isn't an "i don't know...." time, don't let her get away with that and keep stringing you along. She says yes Ill date your or No goodbye friendship. Her decision -_- You're not going to get over her if you keep following her like a puppy dog

[whitedragon20na]

Okay I say its time to break it.

Give her one last chance to say yes, try to convince her to just TRY it out. maybe plan out a big date before hand (assuming if you're old enough to drive and have some money :/ ) This isn't an "i don't know...." time, don't let her get away with that and keep stringing you along. She says yes Ill date your or No goodbye friendship. Her decision -_- You're not going to get over her if you keep following her like a puppy dog

Thanks, unfortunately planning something like that would require a long trip. She's in Tennessee and I live in Colorado.

Like I said, it's rather complicated. Her and I actually went on a date the first time I ever saw her, back in April of last year I took her to her senior prom.

[bloodtippedrose]

Hmm.. if I were her I wouldnt want a LDR even if I was into you. Thats probably a huge contributing factor of why she doesnt want to commit.

Im actually surprised you havent let go of her already, living states away made it so much easier for me to get over my ex