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Thread: Married Friend who lives next door has a crush on me

  1. #1
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    Married Friend who lives next door has a crush on me

    My next door neighbor who is a good friend of mine is still married but has broken up with her husband a few weeks ago. I would come over to talk with her but the situation is going where I don't want to travel. I told her that I just wanted to be friends but I am not ready for a serious relationship and that she is still married to him. She asked me last night if I would sleep with her. I am not comfortable with this despite her being attractive...I just can't do this. I haven't been in a serious relationship in almost 4 years and I'm not about to start right now....that goes for all women. The fact that she is married is still a problem for me. I will not kiss or have sex with her. I do not want to lose her as a friend because we've know each other for a long time but I want to be polite about telling her about not wanting a relationship. She's been giving me hints here and there that she likes me. It's moving way to fast for me. I just can't do it. I need to take a step back from her. Any suggestions??

  2. #2
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    Tell her exactly what you've told us on this post and she will back off.
    "Oh I could spend my life having this conversation. Look, please try to understand before one of us dies"

    Quote Originally Posted by Yet another guy View Post
    It's just plain simpler to view the world as black and white rather than probabilistic shades of gray.

  3. #3
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    That's what I plan on doing....I'm not a fan of rejection so I will try to go easy on her. I do not want to hurt her feelings but she needs to understand that being married is being married. It's one thing is she was single but I think it's appropriate that she knows her limits with me. A female friend is what I need but not necessarily someone I would have sex with...not a "girl" - "friend". One thing leads to another and I'm just not ready for a relationship yet. That goes for all women not just her.

  4. #4
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    Yes be as nice as possible with her but on the other hand don't worry too much if she takes it badly...there are plenty of people out there who will be your genuine friends without any expectations...you don't owe her...

    I think it's great that you are keeping things at your own pace and not letting anyone swamp you in a 'situation'...
    "Oh I could spend my life having this conversation. Look, please try to understand before one of us dies"

    Quote Originally Posted by Yet another guy View Post
    It's just plain simpler to view the world as black and white rather than probabilistic shades of gray.

  5. #5
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    thank you sookie6

  6. #6
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    I'm in the same exact situation right now...here is my thread I started awhile back...there was some good advice in there....[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/39231-what-do-i-do-next.html[/url]

    The only advice I can give you is don't drink with her...we drank lastnight and the only thing keeping us from having sex was the fact that another of our friends was there...but we still did shit we shouldn't and now I'm not sure how weird it will get.

    I know what ya got goin on and honestly just tell her how you feel. If you don't want to be with her then tell her that but if you want to then do like I did and tell her you wanta wait til her divorce is final.

  7. #7
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    She is just lonely. Her recent split is making her very attracted to you because you comfort her in ways her ex husband couldn't.. I say sleep with her give her what she wants..this is the only way you will know what she really feels

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