I think I want her back... help with the letter?

[Gigabitch]

I hope you look back on this in five years and are satisfied with the result. People come back here occasionally and update us on their old threads. It's really great to hear that they've moved on completely from whatever was torturing them so much.

[mings]

I agree with your views on the matter.

[xyz]

Well - I still want her, and I'm having an idea. It's 2010, so how about a quick video rather than a letter? I think this might be a better way to get the friendliness and lack of resentment / desperation across than in writing. I was feeling in the moment, so I recorded a casual, 5 minute practice run to see how it might look, and after watching I feel rather pleased.

I basically told her there are no hard feelings, and I miss her a lot. I said the relationship wasn't working and I guess that we needed it to end, but that I think we had something special and hope that we can find a way to work together some day. I emphasized friendship, but also mentioned that I still felt I had found a soul mate in her. I said I know she might feel differently, but I'll be around if she ever changes her mind and wants to say hello and see where things go from there.

As I mentioned, the tone was very casual and upbeat. A lot of positive, encouraging things have been happening for me lately, and that came off in the message. It's a big change from when things ended and I was anxious and angry much of the time.

I kind of feel like sending it now to go with the momentum I've been having the last few day. It's been just over a week, I think since the last time I contacted her, but the changes in my attitude and perspective makes it feel like months. I'm guessing I should probably wait, but I feel like getting this over with, sending it, and seeing what happens. If she can't deal with it screw her, I'll try again next year or something, right?

Is this appropriate, ultra-weird, or somewhere in between?

[xyz]

Ok, the message is sent.

I'm done trying, and I'm not giving her any more of my time unless she gives me some of hers. I'm ready to put this behind me as best as I can, if need be.

I'm officially declaring that I won't contact her for 6 months if I don't hear back from her, so hold me to that, guys. I might make a depressed post or two (or more) when the reality sets in, but I can deal with it :p .

Thanks for the support and suggestions. If I was smart I would've waited, but I'm just ready to get this over with if there's nothing I can do anyways.

Thanks again, I'll keep you updated if there are any interesting developments.

I'm off to enjoy my evening.

[cmacattack1]

Yeah, knew you were going to do it anyway.

That's what happens when you aren't in control of your emotions.

Don't be surprised if she doesn't respond and there is no guarentee that the video will be it for you.

[xyz]

Yeah, knew you were going to do it anyway.

That's what happens when you aren't in control of your emotions.

Don't be surprised if she doesn't respond and there is no guarentee that the video will be it for you.

\

Yeah, guess so. I don't really regret it, though.

Didn't hear back yet, don't really expect to. I guess I felt like the situation was hopeless so better to fail now rather than later.

I don't think we're ready to be together, and I think this has more to do with me sorting my feelings out than actually getting her back right now. Still, I'm just hoping that she'll think of me somewhere down the road, and remember I said I care about her.

[urkiddingme]

i can honestly say when the relationship hits a certain point, there is no point trying any further, do not even bother risking making a fool of yourself. one thing i have learned is that the movies and television and the myth of "winning" love back is a lie. all these love stories where people are trying to "win" a love back......what a joke LOL

letters, gestures, etc, it doesnt matter, it is over

[geminigirl1234]

I would just wait and see what happens. I would not write the letter, but as the others said, just work on yourself, it will do you magic. the funny thing is, is that once we start concentrating on ourselves and not so much about the past, really neat things happen, (i.e. your ex might call you and ask to meet up) and when she does, you will be in a great,confident place, ready to start something new. And I would suggest that after a breakup, starting something new (rather than talking about the past, etc etc) is the best thing to do. Start a new relationship with her, based on frienship, and perhaps that will grow into something more, (and if it does, then perhaps you can talk about some things that happened before, but only when you are in a good place and you have both established a strong friendship with eachother again).

And if she doesnt call, then its okay too, because once you are in a good place with yourself and who you are (knowing that life will be okay and even beautiful without this girl), thats when you can actually contact her and see how shes been, and perhaps start a friendship.

I have read a couple of great books about how to get your ex back, and although these books sounds cheesy and a waste of money, they are actually not, because most of the time they just teach you how to be more happy and confident with yourself, knowing that you are okay without the ex. And once you are in this happy/good place, thats when you can actually start establishing a friendship with her.

I hope this helps!!!

Best of luck

Gemini

[Gigabitch]

Well, I guess you can console yourself with the fact that you tried.

[xyz]

Well, I guess you can console yourself with the fact that you tried.

EDIT: We're back in contact, so I think I'll start a new thread instead