He messaged me about a death in th family...

[Brooklyn Rose]

It's been over two weeks since I've spoken to the guy I was dating, so I pretty much considered us apart. I hung up on him on Valentine's Day because every time we were on the phone, he was suspiciously getting other calls and had to call me back (and he made no effort to come over instead of taking his phone calls.) So we never spoke after that debacle.
However, he texted me a couple days ago that his Godmother died...I said "sorry for your loss" and he said "thank you". I'm pretty sure he just put this out as bait to see if I still wanted communication with him, which I DON'T. Why would he even text me about a family member dying - and did he expect me to call him after that? I have no intention of starting back up with him, but what is he really thinking now?

[chocolateorange]

How long were you two dating?

[Brooklyn Rose]

We were dating off and on for two years, but we've known each other 4 and a half years.

[mrtdg82]

Pretty simple one this i think. The death is clearly a cover up and now he is trying to rebuild the bridges he burnt with you. Its his way of saying sorry if you like but unable to give you the true reason (probably someone else) as he knew you wouldnt like it he came up with something.

[lhn]

I completely disagree. I think after so much time together he see's you as one of the only people who can understand him and who might have an emotional link.
Did you know his grandfather?
I don't think this is some mindgame. He probably still thinks about you all the time.

If this is one of the rare times he has contacted you since valentines then he has done very well with NC.

[mrtdg82]

I completely disagree. I think after so much time together he see's you as one of the only people who can understand him and who might have an emotional link.
Did you know his grandfather?
I don't think this is some mindgame. He probably still thinks about you all the time.

If this is one of the rare times he has contacted you since valentines then he has done very well with NC.

I have to disagree. Its his godmother. A comfortable excuse as opposed to a family member, hey who asks questions about godparents in general? It does not excuse 2 weeks without contact. Its not diffuicult to send a text saying im sorry but ive recieved some bad new etc.

[Coco]

It was his god-mother. Not grandfather. And I have to agree with you lhn. Good observation on this one.

[chocolateorange]

I agree with Ihn. He is probably feeling pretty alone without being able to talk to you. If his god-mother died his first reaction would have normally been to contact you for comfort. I think that's exactly what he's doing here. I don't think it's necessarily that he wants to get back together with you. You did the right thing with your response. If you don't want to be in a relationship anymore with him, then say you're sorry for his loss but in the end he'll need to seek comfort elsewhere.

[Petit Papillon]

yeah, maybe they were close together and he considered you, OP, his close friend.

And someone said'who asks questions about grandparents' - me you moron, i always feel interested in my partners family history, especially after dating 2 years. I always ask my bf how are his grandparents. I barely had my own grandparents so at least I can have some this way.Grandparents are important.And grandmothers cook ****ing awesome food:p

[mrtdg82]

Petit i was referring to god parents not grandparents. I would suggest the majority of people are not that close to their god parents? Of course i could be wrong but certainly where i am from most people i know barely know theirs. This guy of course could be an exception however it does not excuse 2 weeks of not contacting her and personally i believe whether or not it did happen he is using it as an excuse to rebuild bridges. She has known him long enough for him to at least inform her far sooner then he did.

[lhn]

I think when something like this happens you just drop the past for a brief moment. If someone in your family dies you become very emotional and lots of feelings come to the surface.
You haven't been apart for too long. Feelings towards you are inevitable and maginified at a time of crisis.

[Petit Papillon]

Hahaha sorry for calling you a moron I squint and can't read properly. I'm dearly sorry, here's a thaznks button from me lol

[mrtdg82]

No problem Petit... it made me laugh lol

[QueenofCorona]

Sometimes men are more apt to tell women about this sort of thing rather than for instance their male friends. Maybe he just trust you more than any other woman in his life given the history between you two. I know my bf told me about his dads cancer diagnosis before he mentioned it to his male friends. Just a thought.

Props to you for being civil yet holding your ground and not fawning over him, he may very well have ulterior motives behind telling you.

[Gigabitch]

I think you handled it well. You made it clear that it was a death in his family, not yours, which strengthens your position as an ex, not a person for him to lean on. Good job.