Ignoring isn't working... what's the next step

[LailaK]

There's this guy I used to date casually. It was a long distance thing so when he chose to seriously date someone who lived near him. I was hurt but not surprised.

After he got a girlfriend he asked if we could be friends. He was such a big part of my life that I agreed. He told me that he didn't know if he liked his girlfriend yet, but knew that he liked me. That was weird. I've had many guys try to put me on the backburner for later and I don't respond well to that. Still, I thought maybe he was serious about being friends and gave him the benefit of the doubt. About a month later him and his girl started having issues. It made me really uncomfortable that he would talk to me or lean on me whenever he was mad at her. I told him so and he stopped.

Then he told me that he'd made a mistake. That I'm the one he likes. To me, this was a MAJOR turn off. He knew how he felt about me when he started dating his girlfriend and he gave that up so he could have sex on the regular. Nothing wrong with that, but he made his choice. If he expected me to wait for him, he didn't know me well enough. Even though I'm still single, that doesn't mean I'm available to him, especially considering he already hurt me.

I've told him we can't be friends. Blocked him on AIM. I ignore his emails and texts. I've been ignoring him for 5 weeks now and he just won't stop contacting me.

I've ignored. I've explained. What's my next step? I just want him to leave me the f**k alone.

[Chupacabras]

Patience. He'll eventually get tired of banging his head on the wall and quit. So long as it doesn't cross the line into stalker territory, just keep everything blocked.

[QueenofCorona]

Can you block his texts/emails too? I'd call your phone provider to see if they can block his number and then have his emails go directly to junk or just plain blocked. If you feel threatened by him in any way you may want to consider a restraining order. What a crappy situation.

[Gigabitch]

See, this is what happens when you date those guys who like to play games, Laila. It's fun until you're ready to stop and he still thinks you're playing hard to get.

[LailaK]

I did all of those things to my ex (blocking phone calls, the restraining order, etc.) It's a pain in the ass and it only elevated his anger before he eventually calmed down. I wouldn't do that again unless I really feel threatened.

This guy isn't threatening he's just annoying. I don't like that he's contacting me. I feel like he's trying to re-stake his claim and that makes me angry. Before I blocked him on facebook we got in arguments about how I felt like he was pissing on my page, trying to mark his territory because he knew the guys I was dating would see it.

Is there anything I can say to him that would get the point across clearly and cleanly? I'm not feeling very patient. I feel like breaking nc and yelling at him.

[LailaK]

See, this is what happens when you date those guys who like to play games, Laila. It's fun until you're ready to stop and he still thinks you're playing hard to get.

I know.

[Cbrider]

Get a new guy that is much bigger?

[Doc Durian]

Explain to him in email that you feel no interest or attraction for him after the choices he made and that you've effortlessly moved on, hoping that he'll be lucky enough to lick his wounds and do the same in time.

Then explain that you're not going to change your mind because you realize that one day, probably sooner rather than later, you'd only awake in the night while he was sleeping and surgically remove his genitals as he begged and pleaded all bound up in what he thought was going to be a night of naughty sexual mischief. That it would cruel but most probably unavoidable and that you're just sparing him huge medical bills and the prospect of unwillingly growing breasts and finding men sexy with each passing year his pink bits went irretrievably missing down the toilet S bend.

Also explain that you're never going to prison, ever... and would do anything to prevent that from happening since you're young, smart, funny, sexy, loyal, and with a life before you full of success... so the growing breasts and winking at guys thing probably wouldn't even come to fruition for him at any rate as again... you're never going to prison, ever.

Tell him that you apologize for slapping the restraining order against him but it should not reflect negatively on him one iota as you did it for his safety and not your own.

Wish him well in his future life and sign off with "THE END".

[LailaK]

I like it. I think it would work.

[ChatterBox]

I did all of those things to my ex (blocking phone calls, the restraining order, etc.) It's a pain in the ass and it only elevated his anger before he eventually calmed down. I wouldn't do that again unless I really feel threatened.

This guy isn't threatening he's just annoying. I don't like that he's contacting me. I feel like he's trying to re-stake his claim and that makes me angry. Before I blocked him on facebook we got in arguments about how I felt like he was pissing on my page, trying to mark his territory because he knew the guys I was dating would see it.

Is there anything I can say to him that would get the point across clearly and cleanly? I'm not feeling very patient. I feel like breaking nc and yelling at him

When you sent the order, blocked him, etc., you made it pretty clear that you aren't interested and the point should have gotten across. He's not willing to face it; just keep blocking him out and keep track of those emails and calls for a record. Send the info to the police and press charges.