Making Lemonade From Lemons: Letting Him Know I'm Interested

[elphie]

So I was hanging out with a group of people playing board games. By the end of the night I realized I was interested in one of the guys there, and think he was interested in me as well. He talked to me, and asked different questions (e.g. where I was from, where I went to school, stuff like that); I also noticed he didn't ask other people the same stuff. We also made eye contact a lot and smiled. At the end of the night, when I was leaving he walked out with me, and then asked about getting some dinner. At that point I was really tired (I had been out all day), had a splitting headache, and just wasn't feeling 100% so I said no, that I was going home. I also wasn't really expecting anything to happen (had he asked for a number, I was ready to give that...I just hadn't thought of dinner right then) and I react really stupidly to surprises sometimes. Later, it hit me that he probably took that as a rejection as opposed to bad timing; I could have said "not tonight but another time" or asked if I could take a raincheck. I did say that I was going to meet with the group again the following weekend and that he should come.

He did end up coming, and we were both there for a long time. Because we had dinner there this time, there wasn't a chance to go out together and get dinner like last time. And he had to leave eventually to go meet with some friends who were in town visiting. Because of the nature of the group (it's a group to socialize and play board games), we are basically in the group the whole time and there isn't really an opportunity to go off by ourselves to talk more or anything, other than leaving together, or going out for food. He didn't ask all the questions like he did last time, but we still made a lot of eye contact and smiled. And we had a little bit of a competitive, but friendly, rivalry in the games (e.g. stealing cards from the other person, blocking moves, stuff like that...it seemed like extra attention).

So I guess it comes down to, a) does he sound like he might be interested? or am I interpreting that he might be because I am interested in him? b) by my saying no to dinner, did he take that as a rejection, and therefore, now is backing down a little bit thinking I'm not interested and c) is the ball back in my court then as far as letting him know that I am interested? I don't have a phone number for him, but I have emails for everyone that went to the group, so should I send him a friendly message before the next get together and see where that goes? wait till the next get together and at the end of the night (or if another good opportunity presents itself) casually suggest getting some dessert (or dinner if we hadn't eaten yet)?

[sehvral]

a) yes
b) yes
c) yes

I'd say get his number from someone in the group and see if he still wants to have dinner with you (maybe on a different day than the weekly game night). The fact that you tracked down his number instead of emailing should make it perfectly clear that you're interested in him.

[elphie]

i'm pretty sure no one has his number in the group (i don't have anyone else's number and i've gone a couple of times; i've always just emailed people or vise versa if we've needed to get in touch). so the only way to get his number would be to ask him, which is why i was debating to email or wait till the next game night and say something then. in the past, i've done the whole online dating thing, which made things a little less confusing (people you emailed and/or met you knew where initially interested, so it was mostly a matter of if you wanted to pursue something or not), so i'm a bit clueless with what to do in this case.

[sehvral]

In that case, I'd email him before the next night. He already thinks you rejected him, you need to strike while the iron's still hot, so to speak.