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Thread: What do you do when student teacher love eachother

  1. #1
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    What do you do when student teacher love eachother

    I'm 16 and my teacher's 44. I have a feeling that he might like me too. I know it's a big age difference, but I can't help it. He's in here. *points to heart* I can never tell if he's flirting with me or not. When he sits next to me, he's unbelieveably close. I've seen him sit next to other students, and there's like enough space between them to fit a bag. When I was finished taking my PSAT (that time back in October), I caught him looking at me. He quickly turned away, and I could see an embarrassed look on his face. On a stairway in my school, I caught him looking at my legs, but I'm not sure if that counts, because I was wearing black stockings. i don't know. We talk a lot, he's the only teacher in my school I have real conversations with. The main reason we talk a lot is because i'm sort of on the school's sport's team, and he's the coach. Sometimes when I'm around him, his face turns red. We look at each other constantly, and he smiles at me a lot. I feel like I can talk to him about anything. It's been this way since Freshman year. One time last year, after a game, I was waiting outside the school for my mom. He waited with me. He said to me, "At least we get to spend some quality time together." and he smiled at me.

    One time at practice, my friend Jeniffer was looking through my folder and found a picture of Johnny Depp(my favorite actor)My teacher sneaked up behind her, and said "What are you doing?" She said, "We're looking at (my name)'s boyfriend." My teacher gave me a weird look, and I almost thought he was jealous. He asked, (to Jeniffer), "Does she have a picture of him?" He said, "He looks a little old." and he looked at me. I said to him, "He's your age." He looked at me, "My age?" I said, "Almost, you're older by a few months." Then later on, he told Jeniffer to get up and start playing. My teacher said, (to Jeniffer), "You should be playing better than me. I'm an old man....I'm old as pirate guy." and he looked at me. He said, "arrghh I'm a pirate." Then later on, when we were walking back to school, my phone was ringing. It was a number I didn't recognize so I didn't answer it. My teacher asked, "That wasn't pirate guy was it?" I said, "No." He asked me, "Ever see the movie, Edward Scissorhands?" I said "yeah." One time I was reading the school newspaper with him, and our arms brushed against each other, and he seemed, i don't know tense.

    There was this one time where the team had a game that day. I was sitting there with him, and He said he was going to draw pictures of our team. (my friend got bored, so she drew pictures too) (that's why my teacher started drawing) We looked at each other constantly, while he was drawing. It took him like a half hour, and when he was done, I was surprised. My teacher had drawn me as a sunflower. It even had my eyes. My friend asked the teacher, "Who's that supossed to be?" (pointing to my picture) He said, "It's (my name)." My teacher said, "Look at the eyes." And he smiled at me.

    The other day, he really hurt me. I saw him kiss his wife. I swore I felt my heart breaking, like it dropped to the pit of my stomach, like my heart was just ripped out. Later on, it looked like he was going to kiss her again, but he didn't. Just as he was about to, he looked at me. I guess he saw the hurt look on my face, because he backed away from his wife. I just wish he would stop hurting me. But the worst part is, he doesn't even know he's doing it. He keeps leaving me confused half of the time. You can't have a wife, and flirt with one of your students. I can't even begin to explain how I feel. This is completely pointless, he keeps crappin' on me and I still keep holding on.

    I know most of you will say "Oh forget it! He's never going to like you! It's innappropiate! It's wrong and disgusting!" Even though I respect most of your opinions, haven't you ever been in a situation like this? Not exactly same as mine, but having an unrequited love. You should know how terrible it feels. Watching someone you love..love someone else. It's the worse kind of heartbreak. I've tried getting over him...twice! No matter what I do, I still fall back in love with him.

    So can anyone give me advice? Is he really flirting with me? what do I do?
    Last edited by Gigabitch; 10-04-10 at 12:10 AM.

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    A 16-year-old with a 44-year-old is more than just weird. In the originating country of most posters here, it's a criminal offense called statutory rape. There is a pretty good reason for that.

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    I really, really think this is a troll.

    But if not, you're just a 16 year old girl. Any 44 year old man who might be interested in you WILL NOT understand your needs. In fact, the sick bastard probably realizes how vulnerable and innocent you are, seeing you as a potential target for his personal gratification.

    On the other hand, I think you're too young to understand a 44 year old man's behavior and his feelings. You're misinterpreting his behavior. I really don't think he is interested in you. He has a wife, probably kids of his own around your age. Furthermore he's a teacher and if he ever made any advances toward you, he would ultimately ruin his career and reputation. If I were you I would just stop thinking about it. Just remember how he kissed his wife and realize that he already has a woman. If he does make any advances, don't fall for that kind of garbage. Let the principal know what's going on. Tell your parents.

    From a male teacher's perspective (after having been a high school teacher), the students seem like really young children, much like you might view a kid in 3rd grade. A relationship with them would be absolutely ridiculous. It is very clear that you young girls in high school are at a much earlier stage in life than us, even when the male teacher is in his 20s. I assure you

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    I don't think you're in love with him, as far as I can tell from the story. You're just flattered that he gives you a little extra attention. Just ignore him, even if you do start a secret relationship with him, what would the wife feel when she finds out? Plus, you're only 16, you barely saw the world.
    To reminisce won't bring you back, just look ahead and hold on tight.

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    If this isn't a troll...hun? Just no. Its a crush, its just because your 16 and young, and its really very, very wrong for so many reasons.

    And I know that sounds condensending, but really, you are only 16 - but I remember how inexperienced we all are at that age, and how foolish we can be, and to be honest, you'll probably ignore this, but really, its a bad, bad idea.

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    He thinks you're cute but he won't touch you with a 10 foot pole. He will lose his job and have a terrible reputation as a person. You will be branded a little slut. Is that REALLY worth your little crush? Any answer other than NO is unacceptable.

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    Sounds like a Lifetime movie or a sick newspaper headline.

    Its not love. Its infatuation on your part and if he reciprocates then he's a sicko. Is he married? Is your father in your life? No good could ever come out of you two hooking up. He could very well go to prison and have to register as a sex offender for doing anything with you. You don't want that sort of boyfriend.
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    Hmm, well I can answer from both perspectives of teacher and student- It's only been a few years since I graduated high school, and I do remember having crushes on married teachers, two in particular. One I knew more closely because he was my ensemble teacher, and music groups have all kinds of after school meetings, chamber groups, etc. It was difficult to see him with his wife and children, but I had to realize: I'm a teenager, he's in his mid thirties, married, and my teacher. NOTHING will happen.

    On the flip side, I have been a substitute and student teacher as well. I'm a nice-looking woman I'd say, and some of the students seemed like they had a crush on me. And to be honest, there were a few (high schoolers) I thought were cute but WOULD BE attractive WHEN THEY WERE OLDER. I actually felt gross for even thinking that, lol, but I suppose it's normal and ok as long as the teacher/student relationship is well understood and NO moves are made on either part, especially mine, since I am the older one as well as the one who's career and reputation are at stake. As a teacher, sometimes you say or do things that to you are harmless but that you don't even realize might confuse an infatuated student. I'm not sure if your teacher knows what he's doing to you...and if he does it's very cruel of him, but he could just be a friendly guy.

    I guess the whole point of this wraps up with what everyone else has been saying: Teenage years can be rough and confusing. This may feel like love, but trust me, it's not. It's a strong crush, infatuation. It will pass though- maybe not for a while, maybe not even until you graduate and he's "out of sight, out of mind." Just hang in there, enjoy the rest of high school, and realize that one day you will look back at this time in your life and laugh about this with friends. (Easier said than done, I know, but it's true).

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    It is considered wrong in most country for a woman under 18 to see a man over the age of 18-20 depending on the exact ages....and even then once 18 hits its hard to work on a relationship with a 20+ year difference.

    With that said I don't think it will result in anything...it is very common...he is probably just a very nice man. When I was giving music lessons my old instructor told me to watch out for girls developing crushes on me and not to let myself get in a situation where any accusations could be made...its just that common.

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    What do I do? I get the townsfolk together with the torches and the pitchforks.

    Girls like you are why parents used to lock their daughters up in convents. Keep it in your pants, junior.
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    I don't think he would risk losing his job, family, and everything he worked for his whole entire life, for you. I'm sorry, I know that's harsh but it is true. None of us know what goes on inside his head. He could very well find you attractive. But does it mean he is going to give up his wife and career for you? I highly doubt it. You should try to forget about him and find a guy your own age to daydream about!!

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    It won't end well - period. You are dreaming. Sorry.

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    yes he is flerting with you

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