Please be gentle-- my ego is a bit bruised.
I have developed a big crush on someone at work. I have known him a bit more than one year. There are many problems with this crush: 1. we work together; 2. a LOT; 3. he's married; 4. so am I.
Anyway, I thought about him a lot and why I was crushing on him. And what I decided is that while I find him VERY physically attractive and like him a lot as a friend, I don't want to have an affair with him. But I WOULD like to have sex with him. I know this sounds bad, but my marriage is not very good in this department and, while I do not want to leave my husband (at all), I would not mind having some outlet for my sexual urges. Sort of a "friends with benefits" arrangement.
Long story short, I told my crush that I wanted to be FWB. He said he didn't want things to get awkward between us and that it would complicate things too much at work. I told him I totally understood, and not to worry about it, because I just liked being his friend (which is true).
Since this time, he is very nice to me as always and we continue to see each other alone socially-- lunch, etc. He acts like nothing happened.
So here's my question: Is there NO HOPE that my friend will one day change his mind? Or is it hopeless? Is there anything I can do to convince him that he can trust me and that I honestly only want to see him naked and have some fun?
BTW, I am an attractive female, same age as my crush. I am slim, fit, successful and have lots of male friends (none of whom would I want a FWB relationship with, for various reasons). So I don't think it's a lack of attraction-- we've had lots of flirting and I sense a strong chemistry between us. So I take him at his word that he doesn't want to risk screwing up our friendship or work relationship. But maybe I'm wrong........