Some time ago I was deeply enamored with a woman who attended the school that I go to (yes I'm not a full grown adult, but I do have a sense of maturity). Prior to this I was already crushing on her rather badly since I first moved.I had always been too shy to talk to her at all, and to my dismay, the guarded secret of my affections was publicized, by some "douchebag". I was deeply embarrassed, and a great deal of people tried to "help" me, ruining the situation even more and causing much unrest for myself.
However, unexpectedly I had rose an interest in her to talk to me for some unknown reason, and I myself from this gained courage to talk to her in return for a month. She seemed like a nice girl, and then there was silence. An already untrustworthy "friend" of mine, who obviously harbored similar feelings for her basically confronted me and said that she "hated me", and thought I was a "stalker". Stupidly, I took what he said to heart, and decided it would be best for her if I stopped talking to her altogether. I felt awful. I was constantly ridiculed by a close friend when I told him of my troubles. These feelings of mixed emotions peaked when I, near the end of the year, gave her a mushy letter.
The consequences of my doing so, were shown immediately. She told every living perceived human being she could find, and my humility grew as she and others seemed to laugh at me. I Isolated myself completely from as many people as I could for the few days left of that school year. Over the Summer, I changed, a lot. I became a runner, more active, lost weight, gained muscle, wore entirely different clothes, and made a complete reversal of my life style. I felt like I got over her by the time the Summer was over.I was wrong though.
In the beginning of this year I held a cynical perspective of her, for I was deeply hurt. I wanted to be on the other side of the earth from her. I couldn't escape her though, for she was in some of my core classes, and she ran track and field as well. She seemed different this year though, more friendly. We were forced to talk to each other in a group assignment, just the two of us, on the very first day I came back. She'd be smiling at me every time I looked in her direction, making eye contact. In return, my shyness would get the best of me and I'd look away. For a long while, she'd walk in my direction slowly and get really close to me, slowing down, opening her mouth as if she were to say something, but I would always be doing something intently at the time (school work,etc.) and my nerves would seal my mouth shut, as she would quickly run away, thinking I had not noticed her. This continued for almost the entire school year. I began to develop feelings for her again.
Should I talk to her? What should I say? What should I do?
edit: screw this, life has more to offer than this. I'm deleting my account. Being so involved with this love stuff isn't healthy, and I recommend that others in identical standing should follow my action