really sucks

[IndiReloaded]

I hate sorry. It pisses me off. All of a sudden the onus is on you to absolve them for the rotten thing they did, like they're the victim. **** sorry.

Giga, you are my hero. I love posts like this. No sarcasm, btw, I completely agree with you.

DeW, hang in there. Don't take this person back you deserve so much better. Yes, its sad for her child, but how much more sad would it be if you stayed and grew to hate each other for what happened?

Some doors are one-way. Once walked through, there is no going back. All you should do now is hope she has learned this lesson well enough that she never does this again. If you have the mental energy, you could even make this point explicit if you think there's a chance she isn't self-aware enough to get it.

[dewilliams2]

I'm really feeling pretty good today but I'm also really tired cause of how much I have been working so I think I just don't have the time or energy to think about things so I'm feeling ok about them.

I will be upfront with Ashley. I don't want to hurt her feelings but I know I'm not ready to jump back into something right now. And it maybe be a few weeks or even a month maybe more. I don't know how long it will take me until I feel like I want to put myself out there again.

I did talk to Ashley on the phone though and apparently she loves riding horses and wouldn't you know it...I work with Arabian horses so we are going trail riding tomorrow evening. Like I said right now I just want to have fun and to me that means just hanging out and no pressure...if something happens it happens but I'm not forcing anything.

[bloodtippedrose]

Sorry to hear about your situation DW. By now it sounds like you have everything sorted out though. Do not create any mystery with ashley about the status of your relationship with her and your ex. Its best for you to be single for a lil while. Have fun with her. She will definitely take your mind off the breakup. And dont turn her into a rebound girl.
Dont even think that you wont find another girl like your ex. Pretty girls with babies are a dime a dozen, you just need to pick one with good morals and an open mind. Youre not the only one on earth thats sexually adventurous. Also try not to break up with chicks and get back together with them, you have to remember why you broke up with them in the first place and that it was seriously bad enough to not be discussed through.

[dewilliams2]

Sorry to hear about your situation DW. By now it sounds like you have everything sorted out though. Do not create any mystery with ashley about the status of your relationship with her and your ex. Its best for you to be single for a lil while. Have fun with her. She will definitely take your mind off the breakup. And dont turn her into a rebound girl.
Dont even think that you wont find another girl like your ex. Pretty girls with babies are a dime a dozen, you just need to pick one with good morals and an open mind. Youre not the only one on earth thats sexually adventurous. Also try not to break up with chicks and get back together with them, you have to remember why you broke up with them in the first place and that it was seriously bad enough to not be discussed through.

Well I want more than just being sexually adventurous. I mean I do want somebody who I think could be a good mother...I do want children at some point. I also want a woman who can be nerdy and sexy all at the same time. I want to be able to take her to a nice restaurant or fishing. She should be intelligent enough to talk history, politics, philosophy with me and have her own opinions but at the same time be immature enough to laugh when I make a poop joke.

Desiree was those things. It wasn't just the sex that attracted me to her.

I'm under no impression she is the only woman out there. I've said in a previous post I believe there are several people out there that will work for you and make you happy that you could love. I don't believe in just one love for everybody.

Everybody seems kinda concerned that I might hurt Ashley...do you guys think maybe I just shouldn't see her?

[Gigabitch]

Everybody seems kinda concerned that I might hurt Ashley...do you guys think maybe I just shouldn't see her?

No, you should see her! Just be really clear about what you can offer, and let your actions match your words. Don't be Mr. Supercharmingromanticsexyman. That wouldn't be fair.

[dewilliams2]

No, you should see her! Just be really clear about what you can offer, and let your actions match your words. Don't be Mr. Supercharmingromanticsexyman. That wouldn't be fair.

I'll try to pull back my awesomeness.

[LailaK]

You seem like a really nice guy. I'm sorry you had to deal with this situation. I admire you for being a better person than I am. If my boyfriend ever cheated on me I'd take great joy in fu*king allllllllllllllllllll his sh*t up. You're lucky you found out she was a ho before you married her.

[bluesummer]

Don't date this Ashley girl DeW, but you are certainly allowed to take pleasure in her company. It makes for a nice distraction, and it sounds like you have some stuff in common. But like the others said, be very frank about where you're coming from in all this.

Maybe in time, maybe.....it could be something. But now is not a good time.

[bloodtippedrose]

Well I want more than just being sexually adventurous. I mean I do want somebody who I think could be a good mother...I do want children at some point. I also want a woman who can be nerdy and sexy all at the same time. I want to be able to take her to a nice restaurant or fishing. She should be intelligent enough to talk history, politics, philosophy with me and have her own opinions but at the same time be immature enough to laugh when I make a poop joke.

Desiree was those things. It wasn't just the sex that attracted me to her.

I'm under no impression she is the only woman out there. I've said in a previous post I believe there are several people out there that will work for you and make you happy that you could love. I don't believe in just one love for everybody.

Everybody seems kinda concerned that I might hurt Ashley...do you guys think maybe I just shouldn't see her?

Cmon just have fun with ashley. Be happy you have a new friend. Have an awesome day tomorrow, were not asking you to get into a deep relationship with the girl. And sure Desiree seemed compatible with what you want in a woman but she fu(king hurt you, repeatedly. It was not meant to be. When you find the person you want to be with for the rest of your life youre not going to be having any kind of on again off again relationship with her.

[dewilliams2]

Cmon just have fun with ashley. Be happy you have a new friend. Have an awesome day tomorrow, were not asking you to get into a deep relationship with the girl. And sure Desiree seemed compatible with what you want in a woman but she fu(king hurt you, repeatedly. It was not meant to be. When you find the person you want to be with for the rest of your life youre not going to be having any kind of on again off again relationship with her.

Actually I ****ed up the other times. When I am in an argument I have a tendency to stay calm yet at the same time I have such a large vocabulary that I can basically say "**** you" without actually saying it and many times it is far more hurtful than just saying it. I am very good with words. I did finally learn though that it is best to just shut my damn mouth because usually it isn't that big of a deal...like one time....I used the "nice towel"...thats what a fight was over...and I did and we got in an argument over something stupid that blew up huge because I had to have the last word. The correct thing for me to have done would to have just said "sorry"...I have learned a lot and even though I've always been a cool tempered guy I have learned to calm it even further and I have learned to pick my battles.

So for all her faults...the break-ups were my fault. While I never called her a bad name the way with which I can use words...I said things much worse.

As for Ashley that is really all I had in mind and I just wanted to know how to tell her that because on one hand I am not ready for a gf or even a friend with benefits...nothing like that. However that doesn't mean I want to close future doors either. I am a young man after all....I will be out there again.

[Charlie Boy II]

haha, I knew it! That stage where you're "wounded", girls flock to it. Fun times.

[Trickee]

Sorry that happened to you ! That's one of the worse ways to end a relationship. But if you think about it, you guys have been off and on for years right ? Usually when it's like that it's bound to not last. I'm not trying to make you feel worse because i feel horribly sorry for you but your best bet is, don't talk to her even if she tries to talk to you or if she apologizes. What she did was extremely wrong and you sound like a great guy. There are plenty of girls out there that will give you their all so don't give up. Just take some time to spend time with your friends, work, do whatever. Just don't sit at the bar or at home moping around because it'll only make it worse. Good luck, i know things will get better !

[Perryville]

Dee, brother, I'm back to see how you are doing? I think that this Ashley girl is just what you need right now. A friend, that you can do things with , but not get heavy about. I've given some thought to your situation with the skank, and think that you shouldn't do anything to her, but I would give serious consideration to ****ing up the "friend", that she was bouncing on.

[dewilliams2]

Dee, brother, I'm back to see how you are doing? I think that this Ashley girl is just what you need right now. A friend, that you can do things with , but not get heavy about. I've given some thought to your situation with the skank, and think that you shouldn't do anything to her, but I would give serious consideration to ****ing up the "friend", that she was bouncing on.

Well since he did that to me Don has found himself without several friends. We all kinda hung in the same group so now he is without some friends....I'm not going to hurt him. I do actually kind of want to but I'm not going to.

I went into work for a few hours and I'm gettin ready to go and do the bbq thing with Ashley and some other friends and we are gonna go trail riding on horses after that.

If everything goes well I'll talk to her about me needing a little time but not wanting to close any doors.

[LailaK]

Can't you and Ashley just be friends and take it from there? Having fun getting to know each other, but understanding that you're still in shock from the fact that you were in love with someone else a week ago.