My Boyfriend Isn't Over His Ex...help!

[PPal24]

Here's my story. I started dating my boyfriend about 4 and a half months ago. This was about a year after his ex of 3yrs and him broke up. I was told on our first date that they are still really good friends. So I went along with it. I didn't realize this meant they texted each other multiple times a day. At first I dealt with it. But as time went on, we had several fights about it. He kept telling me he was over her and they just talked all the time cuz they had known each other for many years. Well, after about 2 months of us dating he told me that he wanted to break up because he thought he was still in love with his ex and wanted her back. I was heartbroken. However, he and I talked for the next few days and even though his ex did want to get back together with him, he said no to her and realized that he only wanted to be with me. He told me how upset he was when he broke up with me and the few days apart made him realize how much he loves me and wants to be with me. So we got back together. After that, I did notice they didn't talk as much and he was no longer the first one to start their text conversations. He even offered to set her up with a guy because she kept telling him how much she wanted to date someone. Naturally, I thought all of this was behind us because he was now letting me read her texts and they all seemed pretty non-threatening. The other day I thought of someone she could go out with and my boyfriend started freaking out. He was said "I don't want her dating anyone!" So I asked if he was really over her like he had previously told me. He told me that he tried telling himself that he's over her but he's still not completely over her. Although he really loves me and only wants to be with me, he still has feelings for her. He told me he thinks he's slowly starting to get over her but it's just not there yet, even though they have been broken up for over a year now. I pointed out all the stuff she's done to him in the past, how they will never work out, she never made time for him, etc. and nothing I said seemed to have an effect. I really considered ending our relationship...but I feel like he's the one and that given enough time he will get over her...but I also don't want to waste my time. I asked him if I was wasting my time by being with him and he said no and that part of him sees us being together forever. Right now, I feel like we should stay together but I also feel like if this doesn't change soon, I should end it. Any opinions?

[Gigabitch]

I agree. If he's even a little bit hers, he can't be really yours, so you're wasting your time.

[Natlee]

As long as he still has feelings for his ex then yeah you should leave him. If you really like him then break up and see what happens, if he wanted to be with you that much he would see his ex is no good for him and come back to you but be careful if he does come back that he is over his ex for sure. However don't leave it too long as then you won't be able to move on if he just can't get over the past himself.

[xxazurexx]

How do you know for sure that his ex wanted him back? Maybe she did, that is why he left you, then she changed her mind - that is why he came back to you.

Maybe I'm wrong. But whatever and regardless he still has feelings for her, his heart is not 100% with you. I couldn't be with a man whose heart lay with another, to the point he didnt want her to be with another man. That pretty much would say it all for me.

[xTwinklex]

Leave him. It's not fair on either of you - and what do you have to lose? Nothing, you will be happier, which is MORE important than nearly 5month old relationship with a guy who is scared of being single. You know what, he's not scared of his ex dating other people coz he wants to be with her - men are selfish. They never want any ex to ever date anyone after them, even if they dont want to be with their ex. Don't take that too personally, he's just being greedy. Give it time - live your own life and maybe when he grows up you can rethink trying again. GL.