I'd appreciate any advice, or help! and sorry but this ones gonna be long, but if you just read the last paragraph , the "bottom line".
Here is a little background:
Went out with my girlfriend for almost 3 years. 1st year of our relationship was picture perfect, we were in love, however, near the end of the 1st year, she moved away for 6 months, and we both worked hard to keep our relationship going and we did extremely well. so at around our 1 and three quarters of a year of dating, I began to not pay as much attention to her, I wasn't a GREAt bf (although i wasn't bad either). She was still great and i never doubted that she was fully in love with me. but she tried hard to keep our relationship going eventhough she felt as though i wasn't being as good as her.
anyways at the lowest point of our relationship almost at 2 and a half years. I was supposed to be going out with 2 of my friends, 1 of which was a girl that my gf did not like at all, because she was worried that , that girl liked me. To my luck, when i picked up the girl and was driving over to my other friends' place, he flaked. i went to the movies anyway (which was extremely awkward being just me and that girl..) I came home told her exactly what happened and explained that it was a horrible night. (btw she didn't want to go because that girl that she disliked was there) . After that we just went down hill, until we both mutually agreed to break up, because i wasn't fully dedicated to her, because i could not promise her marriage.
During this recent summer, (we always talk to each other) , she mentioned to me that she had developed a crush on this other guy, and that they had been in contact , texting each other. And she was wanted advice on how to proceed. ..... I was HURT! I understand that it might seem like it was jealousy, but it really wasnt. It was more of a realization of how much i actually loved, and still love her. i didn't want to lose her. And i explained it to her the next day.
She explained to me that she didn't know that i was in love with her still, and that i "finally" realized that i love her, and that she also still loved me. But from then on, she always seems distant, when i would want to talk to her she was always busy.
So basically she said that if i really love her, then i would have to prove it to her, and that it would take time for her to come around. She kept saying that she loves me and she wants a future with me, as long as i could build trust in her. I told her that if she loves me, then we should get together and we can work out everything, but well she didn't agree.
I just told her that if after all the stuff we've been through, through the good and the bad, if she could not commit to being my gf, it was understandable to me, but i just wouldn't be able to keep in contact with her because it would hurt me too much.
she cried and begged me to try and show her and give her more time to be able to trust me again, because she really did love me. She said that she wants a future with me, but is not yet ready to commit to being my gf again, because she has to build trust first.
(I don't know why she is telling me this, i mean as i saw it, if you love someone and you see a future with them , then there would be no reason to not commit to a romantic relationship. =/ is she just bs'ing me, because she is afraid to lose me as a friend? or do you think she is honest about her feelings. )
She agreed, that if i visited her for 2 days 1 night, and i could sweep her off her feet, that she would be my gf again. so i visited,and the visit went great! we both had alot of fun and were holding hands and we even cuddled at night on the same bed. but before i left the next day she explained that she still needed more time and that 1 day was not enough.
i seriously was like, are you serious!? i was really romantic throughout my visit... or at least so i thought..
i mean i wasn't really a good boyfriend to her, i didn't give her as much attention as she gave me. and thats how i supposedly hurt her.
Now she keeps telling me that I have to build trust back in her, by "wooing" her and by acting like a good boyfriend even though im not her bf.
btw, i asked her what she considers us then, and she says that we are "just dating", and that neither one of us , is allowed to see anyone else , hence she doesn't keep in contact with her "crush" supposedly.
Bottom line!:
I don't know if there is something else that is going on with her and maybe her crush? (although i doubt it, because she told me that the crush was stupid and she loved me way more and that she wasnt even talking to him anymore) , does she really need time?. And if she really does need time, would it even make her change her mind? would she ever fall in love with me again?
Will a girl who has apparently fallen out of love with her ex , fall in love with him again?
im confused. what do i do?