Girlfriend wants less sex

[chris_mtl]

I have been with my girlfriend for 8 months. She is one of my first real girlfriends so I feel maybe it is me who wants too much sex. But recently she has pulled away sexually. Now once every three weeks to a month is how often we are intimate. We talk about being together forever but this lack of sex (which for me is hard because I want it every day) is a real difference between us. She doesn't seem to want to talk about it so when it is brought up I feel resentment from her and a sense of "leave it alone, just accept that this is how it is". Maybe I am at a stage where I need to be with a more sexually active person because this isn't sufficient right now. Any thoughts? She is amazing besides that.

[Spoonandfork]

find a girl you are more compatible with

[sparkle_jello]

This sounds like a pretty big problem. To me sex should be just as important as almost every other aspect of the relationship. Just curious, do you do anything to make sex good for her? I can guarantee you that if she feels she is having good sex, she will want it. She may not want to make you feel bad. There was a boyfriend I had in the past I never wanted to have sex with because it was all about the intercourse... I dumped him.

[vashti]

is she taking birth control pills or anti depressants? They really can mess up the sex drive.

Next thought: (and I don't mean to sound offensive) how is your technique? Does she orgasm? Girls who orgasm tend to like sex.

[MikaG]

as a girl, i can say i wanted sex as much (well almost as much) as my ex wanted.. i mean if there's love, why not ? i think it's important as much as the talking and being romantic. and well, when you love someone you want to touch him and be as close as can be.. Try talking to her, explain her that she cant just ignore that problem - cause it doesnt matter that this isnt a problem for her, because for you it is and its bothering you. if she wont listen or wont agree i suggest breaking up .. i dont see any good reason of doing it only every month (we have been doing it every time we met - 3 or 4 times a week..)

[Boisdevie]

Sounds like a big problem that needs resolving one way or another. Wanting to have sex so little is surely a sign that something is wrong big time - her lack of desire for you, perhaps a problem of technique. But it won't go away so you have to talk to her about it,

[Lissy]

If everything else in the relationship is going well, I don't see why you should throw it away just because you aren't having enough sex. There is most likely something going on with her, don't assume it's you. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it because she is embarrassed about something. Has anything else changed? With either of your lives, or routines? I must agree with vashti about the birth control thing, I have had that happen myself. My boyfriend was afraid he just wasn't turning me on, when it really had nothing to do with him. I had sex with him anyway because I didn;t want to hurt his feelings and ended up in a bad mood because of it. Maybe there is something she is upset or depressed about? Perhaps you should try another approach in trying to discuss it with her. Make sure you do not imply that you think she is doing something wrong or that you are upset with her, because that will most likely end the conversation very quickly and not get anything accomplished but more resentment. Good luck

[justcheckin]

I dunno man but that is a red flag that I would try to get to the root of. If she was enjoying it she would do it more then once a moth, especially if you went from having a lot of sex to hardly any at all.