Had a very awkward situation to deal with today, and I'm confused about what to do

[nihao]

Damn, it really sucks that I can't even at the least presume to be friends with her, but you're right.. at this point I really can't do that. I'm like, the only one of her guy friends that doesn't try to get her wasted when we hang out. I've actually been there when this douche she says is her friend is goading her on, trying to get her to down a huge shot of whiskey that would put a grown man out of his senses, let alone a young girl. I took the glass from him and told him she wouldn't be doing that. She did thank me later, that's something at least.

Also, Incognito, you're probably right that she will end up getting what she thinks she wants.. she always cried that all her ex bfs treated her like crap, ****ed and dumped her, that kinda thing. I guess maybe some ppl just get used to being in those kinds of situation and never realize they deserve better.

[nihao]

Also, Incognito, when you say learn to let someone know you hate them without being disrespectful, how do I do that? I'm not very good at subtle, I do keep to myself most of the time, but when I have something to say it's usually direct and to the point. Thanks!

[nihao]

Well, just had a text conversation, she couldn't talk because she's out with the other guy.. she said she likes me but I need to learn to not be so jealous when she brings around guy friends. Guess it did show that I was, but he wasn't acting a whole hell of a lot different than me. I just told her not to come crying to me if anything went wrong, and that she made a mistake. I hold down a good job, have my own place, and treated her with respect, and she picks some clown that looks like he lives under a bridge and is barely legal to drink. What the ***K. *sigh*

[VincenzoG91]

Forget about her, she's a self-centered jerk. You deserve somebody nice.

[Incognito]

Well, just had a text conversation, she couldn't talk because she's out with the other guy.. she said she likes me but I need to learn to not be so jealous when she brings around guy friends. Guess it did show that I was, but he wasn't acting a whole hell of a lot different than me. I just told her not to come crying to me if anything went wrong, and that she made a mistake. I hold down a good job, have my own place, and treated her with respect, and she picks some clown that looks like he lives under a bridge and is barely legal to drink. What the ***K. *sigh*

Don't worry man. This guy will f*ck her and dump her as all the rest did. Just make sure that you ARE NOT her shoulder to cry on when this happens. If she comes back simply tell her that she had her chance, and that she needs to grow up before she gets raped, impregnated by, or physically abused by one of the jerks that she is sooo attracted to. Then tell her to have a nice day and shut the door in her face.

Sarcasm can do a lot to get across that you hate someone without being overtly disrespectful (as illustrated above). It takes a great deal of restrain to calmly word something in a way that they get your point without shouting or using expletives though. Word inflection and body language play a big part too. She can be practice session number one.

[VincenzoG91]

OP, if you have a little time, read this short but excellent horror story:

[url=http://www.craigspector.com/Read.gentlemen.html]Craig Spector: Read: Gentlemen[/url]

You may find it easier to read if you change the page style to no style in your browser, which will give you black letters on a white screen.

[julygirl]

by the way she treats you, she is *not* your friend..sorry to say...friends dont treat friends like that. Find a girl who has a heart

[MrBojangles]

I laugh so hard people saying stuff like "It's not your fault". Trust me bro, it IS your fault. Also, dont use "mild autism" as an excuse. I mean yeah it is partially responsible but you can't do anything about it so drop the selfpity because tbh nobody gives a shit.

Your problem is a very simple one my friend. You have no respect for yourself. If you had respect for yourself you would have reacted when she said "can I bring a guy?" and you most CERTAINLY would have reacted to the guy showing up to the date. I have a strong feeling she has done shit things to you and you havent reacted in a such a way a selfrespecting individual would. So if you have no respect for yourself, how will others respect you? It's not just women who hate "nice" (read: insecure, cowardly, boring) people, everyone hates those individuals. People in this thread are showing you pity but trust me that's not gonna help you get results.

Look man I used to be like this so i know EXACTLY what im talking about. Personally the problem solved itself with maturity and adressing the issue. As i more and more accepted the fact that I was insecure the more I was able to handle it. It's not like im a total boss but I can tell you I would never allow that thing to happen.

Remember this universal truth. Girls are insecure too so they will always give you bullshit to explain their bullshit. "You have no reason to be jealous blabla". You have reason to be jealous and you have reason to be pissed off. And that's okay man, don't be afraid of expressing your emotions! I appologize if I'm being dumb because that's the exact same thing that autistic people are bad at, expressing their emotions and feeling but if its mild perhaps you can help it somehow?

[VincenzoG91]

Bojangles has made some good points. When she asked, "Can I bring a guy?" You should have responded with something funny that made it clear that she was way out of line:

"Can I bring a date, too?"

"Can I bring my grandmother?"

"Can I bring an exorcist?"

"Can I bring my entire wireless network?"

"Can I bring a dog?"

"Can God create a golf course so difficult that he can't par it?"

By meekly accepting her bizarre question with a yes, you sacrificed your own self-esteem to indulge her selfish and rude behavior. Next time, stand up for yourself. Be assertive. Know what you want and ask for it. If the answer is no, move on.