Hello, I'm new to this forum. I joined because I'm really trying to understand the situation I am in. My friends of course agree with what I already believe, but I want to give "him" the benefit of the doubt and I figured if I ask complete strangers they may help me.
Here's the situation summarized:
-The guy and I have been friends for 4 years.
-We dated the last 1.5 years of this friendship
-He broke up with me after a big fight 3 months ago, but we continued to see each other.
- About a month ago, we started seeing each other more frequently and we became intimate again.
- I am not one to be sharing, and I knew that though he didn't want to define our relationship
I needed to set my boundaries. So I had a conversation with him and I said that what we were doing
was fine, and that we could be friends who were intimate for a while, and that I had no expectations
of him that we could both be independent, BUT I made it clear that if we were to be like this
we would have to be mutually exclusive. I said that even kissing someone else would not be ok with me,
and i said that if he didn't agree, that would be fine but that I would want to know immediately, so we could
be normal friends.
-He agreed to being mutually exclusive.
-We were happy, he sought my company quite often, he was very sweet to me, in fact nicer than when we were officially dating. His family has always loved me, and continued to love me. I was nice to him and to his family.
-I noticed that he didn't want to have sex as often. I jokingly said that's a sign of him cheating. He said he'd never do that, and that he only wants to be with me, nobody else.
-A week ago he called to say how much he loves me, and how happy he is to be with me. He said I'm his best friend and that he'd never want to hurt me.
That's the background information.
here's the deal
-Two days ago I found out that he was seeing a girl who, when we were together was harassing me and trying to flirt with him
- I questioned him about the rumors, asking him if it was true that they kissed. He denied it calling me crazy. I believed him. He told me he loves me and that he hadn't kissed or done anything with any other woman while we were broken up
-Though I believed him, my intuition told me otherwise, so I, very politely called this other woman to ask her. Apparently they had been seeing each other and being intimate for a month..She had asked him if he was exclusive with anyone else and he said no.
-I once again confronted him letting him know I knew the truth. I felt betrayed and very angry, but my nature is that when i'm very angry I remain calm and i become extra polite and proper. He called me a psychobitch.
-Now he's saying that it was not cheating because we weren't officially dating. He admits to lying to me about her, lying about being mutually exclusive and having played games with me.
SO, as guys, do you think it is true that he wasn't cheating because we weren't official?