Cold feet to propose...

[Hurl3y]

Nope, but you're going to have to know what to expect. And that's going to be: lots and lots of crying, mad tears, sad tears, furious tears, sad tears, and lots and lots of pain. She's going to ask you questions: why, how long, what did I do?, is there someone else, why now? etc. You're going to have to think long and hard about this and formulate a good solid answer, and don't be a pussy and not tell her you *need* to break up with her. Yes, it's going to kill.

Yeah it will be hard, because I still do love her. But I definitely do not want to marry her. I think its the type of love you get from living with someone for such a long time.

[girl68]

Course it is... PLEASE don't tell her you love her 5 billion times.

In fact if you can get away without saying it all... DON'T. When you keep saying I love you, I will always love you, I will never forget you just makes it that much harder for her to hear, understand and accept. At least that's my advice.

Goodluck... it's gonna surely be hard but it's just what you've got to do, let the gal find a guy who *wants* to marry her, she deserves that yes?

[elise4]

You've started on the wrong foot by misleading her into thinking you'd marry her if she moves in with you. That was incredibly selfish and disgusting. You've wasted 3 years of her life already. The best thing you can do is to let her go, so she can find a man that will be honest and compatible with her. It will suck, but you've earned it.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You need to have your exit route planned out before you break up with her, or it is going to get a lot messier than necessary. You need to have a place lined up to move into when you break up with her, because this is the type of girl that isn't going to leave you alone; not right away at least. I also suggest you don't pull any punches to spare her feelings. Tell her exactly what you told us; "you're controlling, you're boring, you're inconsiderate and terrible in bed, and I will never marry you". Be short, be direct, and don't allow any room for discussion; don't cave in to tears and don't stand around and let her ask questions; dump her, and leave. If she asks if it's another woman, tell her that you are absolutely leaving her for another woman, you just haven't met her yet. Block any form of contact with her prior to breaking up.

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[Hurl3y]

You need to have your exit route planned out before you break up with her, or it is going to get a lot messier than necessary. You need to have a place lined up to move into when you break up with her, because this is the type of girl that isn't going to leave you alone; not right away at least.

We both own the house we are living in. If I "move" out will I be defaulting anything? Or do you mean I should find a place to stay for a few days?

Block any form of contact with her prior to breaking up.

This would be difficult because we do live together.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Wow, ok. Moving in together, and buying a house together are two different things. Someone needs to move out, or you need to sell the house or start renting it. If there is no way to get out of living together for a while, you need to stay in separate rooms, and you need to exclude her from your life wherever possible. Start going out more, and start dating other girls, and don't hide it. I suggest you take whatever necessary measures to get out of the house though, so worst case, I think you'd need to find a renter.

[sookie6]

It was very selfish to make this promise to her...and morally wrong...you're wasting such a valuable time in her life..Break up as soon as you can...chances are it will somehow be a relief to her too...

The fact she has a low sex drive with you might indicate that she does not really love you either so...

[Homelife]

End it now. It's so obvious that you are holding on to her until something "better" comes along the way. Seems like you aren't the most compatible couple.

If after 6 years, you still have to feel things out, then the relationship isn't the right one...for the two of you. It's not fair to lead her on or to even lie to yourself.

[Hurl3y]

I didn't have the balls to tell her this past weekend, now everything is much more complicated as we have booked a vacation to Mexico in a month. I think she could tell something was up because I wasn't "thrilled" after we booked it.

I feel terrible.

It seems there never is a convenient time to tell her because we always have something going on. I was worried that telling her this weekend would wreck my Superbowl plans.

[SelflessnHumble]

We both own the house we are living in. If I "move" out will I be defaulting anything? Or do you mean I should find a place to stay for a few days?



This would be difficult because we do live together.

Stop making these petty excuses and just tell her the truth like a real man.
Not wanting to tell her to preserve your superbowl plans is selfish.
Wanting to tell her after she's booked plans is ****ing sad.

Sit her down and look her in the eye and just ****ing say it already.
This isn't 5th grade dude... suck it up and tell her you have zero intention of marrying her.

The stupidest mistake both of you mde was not just moving in together....it was getting both names
On A mortgage note...now you must pay the piper. Stop being a pussy and be honest.

[girl68]

I seriously hope you lose all YOUR money when you cancel the trip. I can't believe a superbowl game plans were THE factor in all this. Wow, dude wow- you pretty much just lost all due respect from me.

[Hurl3y]

I seriously hope you lose all YOUR money when you cancel the trip. I can't believe a superbowl game plans were THE factor in all this. Wow, dude wow- you pretty much just lost all due respect from me.

I wouldn't say the Superbowl was THE factor in all of this. This has been going on all along, I'll refuse to come out and say it because of <insert any event or activity>. Whether it be a dinner with another couple, or a games night or anything. I'm just procrastinating. I guess I find it easier to delay it when I have a legitimate excuse. I'm very afraid of the big change this could bring. I do find it inspiring that you were in a similar situation before and found happiness.

[girl68]

You're being a huge douche to her. You KNOW you don't want to marry her yet you're keeping her around for whatever reason... I don't really care 2 half a shits about your reason it isn't a good enough one. I sincerly hope I don't inspire you becasue so far you've done nothing but the exact opposite of everything we've all said.

[SelflessnHumble]

I wouldn't say the Superbowl was THE factor in all of this. This has been going on all along, I'll refuse to come out and say it because of <insert any event or activity>. Whether it be a dinner with another couple, or a games night or anything. I'm just procrastinating. I guess I find it easier to delay it when I have a legitimate excuse. I'm very afraid of the big change this could bring. I do find it inspiring that you were in a similar situation before and found happiness.

This ^^ doesn't make it any less shitty considering what you are doing to her in this situation...
SHE deserves to know that her partner is FULL OF SHIT: and has no intention of marrying her as HE had agreed to when one or the other moved in together.
Now look at all the time, effort and MONEY, hard earned money wasted....She's working her ass off to afford these kinds of gestures in a futile attempt to persuade you to ask for her hand in marriage and
yet here you are: pussy footing (like a coward) about the issue just because it was (to you) a "legitimate" excuse?

Dude, you ARE an illegitimate/poor excuse for a partner if I've ever known one based on your piss poor relationship habits even Helen Keller would know is wrong.
You're not only blind and deaf, but you are devoid of any back bone and obligation to feel compelled to tell someone that YOU are just along for the ride as if she is some ride at a theme park.

You're (based on your actions) a joke.

[smackie9]

If this is the way you feel then you are not madly in love with her.....in other words she is not the one. Next time if you feel you have to lie in order to have someone move in, that right there should tell you they sre not the one you will marry. When you meet "the one", you will know for sure you will want to marry them. It will hit you like a ton of bricks.