I have been married for nearly 9 years; about three years ago my wife revealed to me that she
had feelings for a mutual friend for years before and after we were married. She admitted to one
infidelity and to kissing a couple guys before/after marriage. She said she didn't feel she could be
committed or married. I suggested counseling, but that lasted a few weeks before she moved out.
She was gone for 6-7 mo but we stayed in contact and did things together throughout. 3 months in
she was telling mutual friends she was done and ready to move on. After confronting me with this
(very sheepishly) I stopped communication with her for a week or so - shortly after that she told
me she had been thinking about it more and wasn't really sure she wanted to end it. We got back
together, I continued counseling on a personal level to deal with some of the things she said that
bothered her about me. Last year, she tells me again she's not sure she can be married. We decide
again to split ways, but again after thinking about it she tells me she can't imagine being without me.
Since then, she's made a few male friends through various mutual interests of hers and mine. She
seems really free around them. Giggles and laughs at silly stuff they say or do or whatever. This
behavior reminds me a lot of my old friend's behavior from years ago.
Am I reading this right and watching Round 3 unfold before my eyes, or am I just overreacting
to someone enjoying another person's company? I love her and don't really want to split up
but I also can't spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder at everyone she is drawn to
in this way.
PS, my counselor essentially said I should man up, leave her, and go about finding someone else. *sigh*
Thanks for any input you gals might have.