Sexual Comfortability?

[andyou]

Hey, so I'm a pretty successful guy as far as girls are concerned, but I've only recently found my way into a real relationship. What's troubling me is my girlfriend's lack of sex drive, something I'm not too familiar with. She "acquiesced" to a couple of my initial sexual advances, but she was totally unenthusiastic. After she denied my subsequent advances, I decided to just pull the plug on all things sexual. For about a month, our relationship has been totally non sexual, but I don't think it's healthy for that to continue forever. She's a high stress, self-conscious type, and I'm wondering if the issue at hand is a lack of comfort with sex on her part. Also, despite my success with the ladies, I'm not a great looking guy, and it crossed my mind that she might have a stronger connection between her eyes and her sexual organ than I'm used to. Any advice would be great please

[oldskool83]

it can happen, some girls ive had sex with i not comfortable with them at all! others i feel safe and relax more. hell i got alot of stress in my life. let her get comfortable, it'll work out.

[girl68]

If you're even close to serious about her there should be a talk. She should be able to clue into why her drive isn't there. There could be hundreds of reasons a few common ones are:
-birth control
-doesn't feel sexy
-doesn't feel loved
-feels like you only want sex
-had medical issues (thyroid, is common me thinks...)
-doesn't like sex because you or her or both aren't that good at it

You're gonna have to bring the issue up and see why she isn't interested in sex and what YOU can do to help her get in the mood. Every one of those except the medical issues you can help with...

[SelflessnHumble]

Stress is definitely a factor.
However....women are like snowflakes dude. No two are alike.

One could be a sexual beast in bed while another can be a deaf blind mute.
It's nature. If she doesn't value sex as much as you do, that's her right. And you should tell her straight up it isn't going to work instead
of force your views on sex nor press them upon her.

Stop trying to find the reason(s) why for things dude.
Sometimes there aren't any reasons. Sometimes a woman doesn't feel you, sometimes a traumatic event could have played a role.
Then? Sometimes it can be hormonal.

[sweetkissesforu]

it can happen, some girls ive had sex with i not comfortable with them at all! others i feel safe and relax more. hell i got alot of stress in my life. let her get comfortable, it'll work out.

It also has to do with how she may feel about the relationship

[jerybaby18]

Have a talk. If things don't change, then you guys may not be compatible sexually. And a healthy sexual relationship IS important. And it will cause some serious stress in your relationship. If after talking and trying things, if it still doesn't work out, than you have to decide if you can be in a relationship without sexual passion. I can tell you from experience, i thought at one time when I was younger, that sex was not all that important. Believe me, I WAS wrong!!
Good luck.

[sookie6]

Maybe completely unrelated..you mentioned she is a high stress person...is she the 'controlling' type...I mean not with you but in life in general, is she a stress head over being late, being organised, being on time, dressing neat, succeeding in everything she does...

I'm saying this bcause I've noticed people who are a bit compulsive like this tend to not be able to relax and let go during sex which is a pre-requisite in bed...she should be able to trust you and let someone take control ifshe wants to experience arousal...just a thought

[smackie9]

It doesn't sound like the sparks are flying....time to date someone else....why waste you time on someone that really can fulfill your expectations?