well, if some people from this forum remembered my post before, then I think, they would say * You got a problem again with boys? * well, I admit, since 2006, i always have this problem with boys, then i just figured out just recently that the reason was I'm still dwelling with past, I'm still in agony over the break up with my longest relationship before, and it ended up last march 2006. I thought i was in love with those guys I encountered after that break up with him but i just realized that i was not when I met my boyfriend now.
Since 2006 this is the first time that i felt this way, I am happy with no pretensions at all, I love myself more now. We've been together with this guy since December 30, 2010, he is okay , he is so loving, caring, thoughtful, and very helpful when it comes to doing the dishes, laundry and all that stuff, we're not living together though, he just frequently visits me at homes and help me with some chores there. We seem to have a lot of things in common.
Well, it's like an almost perfect relationship, but then again, since I LOVE MYSELF MORE NOW, I am thinking if he is the right one already, i have some fears if this will workout for a long time or if he will be with me for the rest of my life. The thing is, he has kids, 2 kids to be exact, both from different mothers/ girls. He is undergrad ( but that is okay with me still), it's just my parents, they want me to settle with a guy who is also a bachelor degree holder, they're so demanding , they're not thinking that i am a college graduate but i am unemployed right now, i mean my point is, a degree is not a sure assurance that the future will be okay, right?
With that amost 3 months relationship ( still counting) , what I noticed about him is he does not know how to budget money properly, he's fond of going out with his friends, but he's tagging me along with him though but sometimes, we really don't have enough money for both of us, it's like, we're really budgeting or something, I mean my point here is, i 'm scared for our future. Well, he got a job right now, hope it will be good enough for him to support his kids, and we're also planning to stay together if i could find a job in that place where he is right now as well.
I am just so scared if he will continue being that irresponsible kind of guy, he is caring, loving but he is not financially stable, I'm scared if maybe we will be starving or something because of that irresponsibility when it comes to handling money, I'm scared that what if i will have a job and then, he will lose his job and he will be very dependent on me since i can see that he has the potential to be parasite.
but well i am in love, he is in love with me, i know that. He is so into me, i can sense that, we're both the same.
I'm just scared, a little scared.
Am I paranoid?