GENTLEMEN! Please help me figure out the mind games he's playing

[Astsbury_girl]

I've been seeing this guy for over a year. I met him online (his profile is still active on that site btw). Everything was beautiful until the year mark. He grew rather distant and his daily calls turned into weekly calls and even less than that. Our visits went from weekly to monthly.

I was madly in love with him, but I knew from the beginning that he was possibly emotionally unavailable. However, he said that he loved me.

His reasoning for cooling things down and "taking a break" in November was that I was too emotional and that he couldn't keep up with me. I don't consider myself needy at all. I'm a confident woman normally and usually am the one capable of giving advice, and not having to ask for it. I was just very comfortable with him and showed it. I'm very demonstrative. I give gifts and massages (he did not reciprocate) and lots of sex. I felt I was the perfect girlfriend. During the last few months, he has avoided answering questions, such as where I stand. After 3+ months, I felt he could at least answer that. He didn't keep in touch very often, either.

He DOES have a lot on his plate and is busy at work.

When I would ask questions, he would actually punish me by saying that he wouldn't answer because I've always ask. However, when we last talked, he was nice to me, but informed me he wanted to break up and not be "on a break" and be friends and told me he's said that several times. (He hasn't told me that prior and that was part of the info I was trying to get from him via my questions.) Why did he keep that important piece of info from me?

He also said that he doesn't want a relationship until next year, if that. But if the friendship works out, he'll consider more after the first of the year. However, if I want to date other men, I should go ahead, since he feels we aren't a good match emotionally. And if he finds another woman in the interim, I'm to embrace that or I'm not a supportive friend.

We had sex a few weeks ago in an attempt for me to try the friends with benefits thing, which I don't like at all, but I wanted to try it for him. He's always said I was the best he's ever had, but last night he said he's not sure he ever wants to have sex with me again....he might just want friends only...sex would cloud things.....which threw me completely....and it hurt......I left the conversation with more than I thought I would and I was shocked. He maintains that he's doing all this for my benefit.

My question is....and I hate to ask it cause I know I should leave the situation, but should I just go with it and be friends and grin and bear it...maybe I'm expecting too much from him.....he's dangled the tiny prospect of us having a second chance....I want to say...he IS a good guy...but he has never admitted fault since I've known him, and when I compliment him daily, Ive asked him in the past to give me a compliment once in awhile, he refuses. He's a Leo and acts very much the king....I'm a Taurus. In the past week or so, he's given me the cold shoulder, but then denies it. I've never had anyone do this to me before. ....Thank you for reading............

[ASMD]

Ok so he doesn't want to lose you. He wants you to be his friend, and is using the possibility of a future relationship to keep you.

You need to leave... you're just gunna get hurt. What if he does find a girl? You gunna try and stay around and be his friend? Doubt it. So leave now, while you still have your pride.

[UnknownSld]

Ok, I have known plenty of guys and girls like this. I am going to give it to you straight. The guy is a pig, a jerk and a player. Sounds to me like he is only using you for sex when he can't get any from any other females. More than likely, he has another girl or maybe even a few. Best advice I can give you is to tell him to piss off and move on. You sound like you might be a very caring and lovable woman and you deserve a hell of a lot better than that. Find someone better who will love you the way you deserve and treat you right. I really do hope things work out for you, good luck.

[Yet another guy]

It seems that he hasn't been interested in you for quite some time. It would be best for you to look for another guy who is. And I wouldn't recommend to have any contact with him until you don't have any feelings for him.

[sadie_genie]

He doesn't even wants sex with benefits?!! He has lost all interest in you and probably has his heart attached to another girl.

[steviej]

This is a no-brainer, you know the answer to this yourself, you just need the reassurance to commit to it.

You're doing the right thing! Get rid, no contact, goodbye.

[jerybaby18]

This is a no-brainer, you know the answer to this yourself, you just need the reassurance to commit to it.

You're doing the right thing! Get rid, no contact, goodbye.

Well Said...... Steviej is right, you deep down know what it is you should do.