Incase anyone reads my past posts, I would like to clarify that I broke up with the old boyfriend a long time ago, started a new life, and have a wonderful new man in my world who is the best thing that ever happened to me
I'm not sure about something though...
He's use to my schedual now, he can predict when I'll be online, etc. And when I'm not he becomes really concerned that something bad happened to me. These fears can easily be resolved with proper communication (cell phone), but he openly admits that I'm his priority when he gets home from work. He comes online to talk to me or feel like I'm closer and doesn't do much else in the evenings... he might watch a movie or play a videogame but he pretty much just wants to know where I am and know I'm safe.
This may sound like a woman's dream!!
But I'm actually a little concerned....
Should I be finding a way to spark an interest in a new hobby or something... I'm just worried about him obsessing over me, It's important to build your own character as well as your relationship.
He's not overstepping my boundaries, I don't mind it! But I do consider his own well being, and what would be good for him.
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25-03-11, 09:50 AM #1
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I'm his life....Should I be concerned??
Last edited by Swan; 25-03-11 at 09:53 AM.
As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.
We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as
anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
~Dalai Lama
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25-03-11, 09:52 AM #2
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are we talking about an online relationship?
mo'Dajvo' pa'wIjDaq je narghpu' He'So'bogh SajlIj
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25-03-11, 09:58 AM #3
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Nono, I see him every weekend, we just live apart, he's about a 15min. drive away on the highway but we dont have a lot of money for all the gas!!
As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.
We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as
anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
~Dalai Lama
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25-03-11, 10:02 AM #4
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how old are you two?
mo'Dajvo' pa'wIjDaq je narghpu' He'So'bogh SajlIj
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25-03-11, 10:07 AM #5
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we're both 24
As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.
We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as
anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
~Dalai Lama
-
25-03-11, 10:17 AM #6
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i think it's a normal obsessive behaviour for young people, once he gets used then he'll back off a little.
does he work?mo'Dajvo' pa'wIjDaq je narghpu' He'So'bogh SajlIj
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25-03-11, 10:20 AM #7
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I've just done it before in a relationship: Falling head over heels in love with someone and just poured myself into them while forgetting about my own needs and eventually you kind of lose yourself. They become your life and you forget all about you. Which seems Altruistic but I'm talking like ...don't want to see your friends, stop doing your regular hobbies...changing what makes you, you! Soon, They make you. And it gets to a point where you're practically no longer an individual and have nothing to say for yourself.
That's just my experience with it. I don't want him to lose himself in our relationship. I want us to be ourselves, together, and love eachother.
....Make sense?As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.
We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as
anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
~Dalai Lama
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25-03-11, 10:23 AM #8
Gwynplaine
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but the period of not wanting to see friends doesn't last long. after a while everything goes back to normal. i don't think that anyone ever loses themselves as an individual, they evolve to accomodate the other person in their life.
mo'Dajvo' pa'wIjDaq je narghpu' He'So'bogh SajlIj
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25-03-11, 10:24 AM #9
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Yes he works,
I think I was also confused cause today he mentioned he gets a little jealous because I hang out with my friends so much. Guy or girls, doesn't matter, he trusts me completely but he's still protective and misses me, so it's hard for him because he knows all these other people get to spend time with me but he doesn't have the choice because he can't drive out here so much... He understands there's not much I can do about it cause he doesnt want me to cut back on my friends, and as long as I keep in contact with him than it's the best we can do right now.
But he's not particularily social himself, so he can't exactly distract himself with his own friends either...As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.
We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as
anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
~Dalai Lama
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25-03-11, 10:26 AM #10
Gwynplaine
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in any relationship one of the two always has stronger feelings about the other. passion paradox.
mo'Dajvo' pa'wIjDaq je narghpu' He'So'bogh SajlIj
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25-03-11, 10:30 AM #11
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Alright, well, I guess he's fine then?
As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.
We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as
anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
~Dalai Lama
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25-03-11, 10:33 AM #12
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Haha I'm sure a big part of it is just me too...my ex was extremely distant and moody, made me feel like an obsessed crazy person just for wanting a hug, and I was with him for 3 years!
Now, after getting over him, I have a man that's crazy about me and wants to do everything he can with me.... I guess I'm just not use to it. It's everything I want, I've just never had it!As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.
We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as
anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
~Dalai Lama
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25-03-11, 11:13 AM #13
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His behavior sounds as if it's tending towards power and control. His jealousy is a BIG red flag - jealousy is born of insecurity. If he's insecure, he'll do what he can to control his environment and you. I'd watch him very carefully.
Originally Posted by Swan
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25-03-11, 11:39 AM #14
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Good point. And I will. Originally Posted by HeartIsAching
As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.
We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as
anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
~Dalai Lama
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25-03-11, 04:53 PM #15
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I don't think you should be concerned at all. I think you should be happy that he cares for you that much. He just sounds like any guy who is in love.
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