I have a situation!!

[Theegz]

I have a situation!! I have been with my Bf for 8 years And his scarficed soooo much for me and my family, and he is extremely loyal! but I have strong feelings for my bestfriend he is a complete gentleman and we just get along Sooo well. I'm scared i don't know what to do, i don't want to hurt anyone. I am very close to my boyfriend's family and im not sure if my bestfriends family will like me? But i think im in love with both, but my heart skips a beat when I meet with my bestfriend! However i cant leave my boyfriend at the momment because he has depression. I really dont know whether to do anything and if i have to the timing is not right i want to support my boyfriend until his completely better. But when he is, do I stay with my loving and caring man of 8 yrs or do I follow my heart?!

[Bonfire]

If you were married to him and have kids, I would advice you to stay. But since that's just your boyfriend, then follow your heart and let him down gently. But first, does your bestfriend feels the same about you?

[Theegz]

Thankyou for your reply.

I'm not sure but his hinted that he likes me. I gave him a bracelet a few months ago that I loved! On the weekend we met after that time, he wore it! I think he has feelings for me, he takes care of me. On the weekend we all had a few to many drinks he took such good care of me. We feel asleep in eachothers arms on a friends couch and had so much decency not to take advantage of me. He respects me alot. I love that. I love my boyfriend too but since his done so much for my family he does not respect my parents at all. He always brings things up that his done. It hurts me. I first want to find out if my bestfriend loves me. What do you think?

[Bonfire]

Definitely find out what your bestfriend feels about you. Ask him. But let's say if your bestfriend doesn't feel the same. Then what? Would you stay with your current boyfriend? You say you love him, but what does that mean? Do you just care about him but not in a romantic way anymore? You have to sort out your feelings here.

[Theegz]

Thankyou!!
Yes I will definitely have to find out about my bestfriend.
Let's say he does love me, do I tell him I cannot leave my Bf ATM
Until he is better?
I'm not sure, with my Bf, I certainly care about him. But there is no romance, he doesn't really make an effort or want to spend time with me.
Recently I feel the same way. I'll put it this way, my heart beats for my Bf but it doesn't skip a beat. It would definitely hurt me if we broke up and he found someone else. what do u think?

[Bonfire]

Thankyou!!
It would definitely hurt me if we broke up and he found someone else. what do u think?

If you broke up with your bf and went out with your bestfriend, then you found out your bf is dating a new girl. How would you feel? Would you be hurt? Would you be jealous even though you are dating your bestfriend? Can you let him go completely? Will the love from your bestfriend be enough to make you happy?

[Theegz]

I would definatley be hurt and jealous. That's the problem I am not sure if I can completely let go. I'm not sure if my bestfriend will love me enough because I have never been with him romantically.
How do I know whether I still love my Bf or am I just attched and used to him since it's been 8 years of us being together?

[Bonfire]

That's the main problem I see you facing. You are not sure of your feelings. That's why I keep asking you questions so it can help you sort it out. And the fact that it isn't easy for you to sort it out tells me that you do have feelings for both. You gonna have to ask your bestfriend how he feels about you. And if he says he loves you, then that's when you have to make a decision. And once you make a decision, you can't undo it. Everything will change. So think long and hard before you decide what to do. Make sure your bestfriend wants the same thing you do before risking an 8 yr relationship for it. Remember once you break it off with your boyfriend, you might lose him forever. Trying to love two guys will never work, you have to pick. Just ask yourself, if both of them is drowning, who would you save if you can only save one?

[Theegz]

Thankyou so much!! I think I'll wait for my bestfriend for him to tell me if he likes/loves me. I found myself visualizing what u said, I would have to drown myself instead of seeing them like that. I find myself quite distant from my Bf he has noticed. Now I always can't wait to see my bestfirend, I think I've changed?

[Bonfire]

You still haven't talk to your bestfriend? Let's continue after you find out from him. Yes, I think you are developing more feelings for your bestfriend as time passes. The thoughts of being with him excites you unlike the dull feeling you get from your current boyfriend. You two have been together a really long time, a new relationship is always going to be more passionate. Don't know what will happen til you find out how your bestfriend feels.

[Theegz]

Thankyou so much I really appreciate it. I have not talked about it too my bestie because we r meeting in a few weeks and I think his going to tell me then. That's what I'm scared about.... Am I just leaving a perfectly good guy because the if the dull/boring relationship and the thought of a new one is exciting? I'm also worried about the future with my bestie I'm not sure if he'll wanna marry later on etc whereas I know as soon as my Bf has the money he is ready to propose. Ohh I'm so confused.

[Bonfire]

If you are confused, don't make any decision. Wait til you figure out what you want, then decide. So you won't see your bestfriend in a few weeks? I might not have internet in a few weeks, so just remember what I say. Don't decide until you know which person will make you most happy and will give you the life you want. Good luck.

[Rabbitt]

Some of the best couples out there are bestfriends

2 people who know everything about eachother even before dating is just an unavoidable recipe for long lasting love.

[Theegz]

Thankyou soooo much guys!! I really appreciate it. I will keep you posted.