Help!!!!! The world just ended!!!!!

[DowninNJ]

What? No, you're missing the point.

You're getting all indignant because ONE person said unkind things to you. Then you go and insult everyone who responded by insinuating that we're all insecure and controlling. I don't even know where you got that from. If you really want help, maybe stop being an asshole?

Perhaps I am missing the point. I feel, when someone tells someone else who they cannot speak with, its controlling. Its my belief this course of conduct stems from insecurity. Please explain how its not controlling, at least.

[MrE]

Alright DowninNJ, you're boring now. Move along.

[DowninNJ]

Alright DowninNJ, you're boring now. Move along.

Quiet down. Adults are speaking

[MerryH]

Perhaps I am missing the point. I feel, when someone tells someone else who they cannot speak with, its controlling. Its my belief this course of conduct stems from insecurity. Please explain how its not controlling, at least.

My post that you quoted had nothing to do with whether it's controlling or not. In fact, not a single person in this thread has said it's alright to tell someone who they are allowed to speak to, so I don't know why you're arguing this.

Anyway, have fun telling people on the internet to get cancer and stuff.

[bloodtippedrose]

Perhaps I am missing the point. I feel, when someone tells someone else who they cannot speak with, its controlling. Its my belief this course of conduct stems from insecurity. Please explain how its not controlling, at least.

Where is it in this thread someone told you that you cannot talk to someone? I can't find the instance you're referring too. Are you referring to people telling you that you should have cut ties with your ex? If thats the case it's your decision to keep a friendship with the ex or not, even though its easier on future gf's not too, unfortunately no matter how honest and open you are with your more current gf, it's easy for her to become jealous when you are constantly around a woman that you have slept with and proposed to in the past. Clearly before the incident of her flipping through your phone there was a lack of trust in your relationship (possibly both your faults for lack of communication or possibly it was because she unfairly reached verdicts based on her past relationships), thats why she blew up when she saw your ex's number.

Now when you say "why are all women so insecure?" NOT all women are, just the ones you've seeked out. Some women prefer to have open communication and listen to all sides of an argument before reaching a conclusion.
If your gf that blew up on you is acting very insecure and upset over a friendship you've had then maybe its better that you don't get her back and find someone a little more mature. Next woman you meet make it very clear what your relationship is with your ex and even have them meet your ex-fiance so this doesn't happen again. Also always try to put yourself in the other persons shoes and think about how you might have hurt them or what they might have been thinking.

[DoesntMatter]

...............

[jessld]

To bonfire: 2 words. TERMINAL CANCER.

Aye mate dont wish any kind of crap upon anyone, thats awful. I have a tumor myself Im lucky its not cancer but if it grows I will become blind. My friend died at 14 from cancer. And I'm sure everyone else has a cancer story DO NOT wish death, or that kind of pain upon anyone. And if he did say something nasty to you. Remember 1 dont sink down to his level and b nasty back and 2 its the friggen internet does it really matter who says what it's just the net it doesnt really mean 2 much.

[DowninNJ]

Where is it in this thread someone told you that you cannot talk to someone? I can't find the instance you're referring too. Are you referring to people telling you that you should have cut ties with your ex? If thats the case it's your decision to keep a friendship with the ex or not, even though its easier on future gf's not too, unfortunately no matter how honest and open you are with your more current gf, it's easy for her to become jealous when you are constantly around a woman that you have slept with and proposed to in the past. Clearly before the incident of her flipping through your phone there was a lack of trust in your relationship (possibly both your faults for lack of communication or possibly it was because she unfairly reached verdicts based on her past relationships), thats why she blew up when she saw your ex's number.

Now when you say "why are all women so insecure?" NOT all women are, just the ones you've seeked out. Some women prefer to have open communication and listen to all sides of an argument before reaching a conclusion.
If your gf that blew up on you is acting very insecure and upset over a friendship you've had then maybe its better that you don't get her back and find someone a little more mature. Next woman you meet make it very clear what your relationship is with your ex and even have them meet your ex-fiance so this doesn't happen again. Also always try to put yourself in the other persons shoes and think about how you might have hurt them or what they might have been thinking.

You hit it in a nutshell and it's what I'm guilty of in all of this. I failed to put myself in her shoes, and see from her vantage point. I knew there was nothing going on, my ex knew and my co workers all laughed in my face when I told the few of them what was going on because they see me and my ex every day and were more like cousins than anything else and it's clear there's nothing to it. My ex has told me my current gf must be good for me because I've never seemed happier, for nearly as long and I agree. My gf never met her and made up her mind early on she doesn't like her. I tried to get her to see it my way, but it's not worth my relationship. I told my ex I wouldn't call or text anymore and she understood completely. I'm sure down the line this will blow over, but for now my current relationship is what matters.

[bloodtippedrose]

I only suggest having your gf meet her because I was in a similar situation. My bf had befriended a girl at his new job. He was very open about everything, he had nothing to hide from me, I also know him not to be the cheating type.. but I still started getting a little jealous. It seemed like everyday he came home from work he'd say something about her. He told me he wasn't attracted to her and doesn't think of her that way and that helped ease my mind temporarily. It got to the point where he started walking on eggshells when it came to mentioning her because he knew it would make me pout (I'm embarrassed to say). So he had us meet. We all went out to dinner and then back to our place. It was fun and I could see first hand that she was a generally nice person and I could see why my bf was friends with her. (She also wasn't very physically appealing which helped). All of my jealousy was removed after that.

I imagine that your gf was jealous and it drives her more crazy that you were once attracted to this other woman, you get to spend a considerable amount of time with her and worst of all, she probably imagined up what she looks like. The sad thing is, its not really you she's mad at, shes actually mad at her own imagination because shes the one who dreamed up this possible affair, and she doesn't even realize that. Has she given you an opportunity to explain yet?

[DowninNJ]

I've explained myself up, down and sideways. I offered to bring her to my ex's moms birthday party and were both invited to but nothing doing. She just made up her mind she hates her.

[devonbrown]

Some people will do that, they will dislike everyone that came before them. Sometimes it is jealousy, sometimes it is actual care for the person they are with because they think that people in the past haven't been as good to them as they are. It is just the way some people are, and open and honest communication, done in a respectful and caring manner, is the only way to work through it.

However, I don't know if that is you. You seem like you are an immature fool who jumps to conclusions and blows things out of proportion. (If I need examples, the title of this post, the last sentence in the original post, and wishing death on Bonfire.) Obviously the world didn't end, because you are still here talking to us. So that was simply hyperbole. Fair enough, but it makes you sound like a 15 year old kid who listens to too much emo and watches Twilight all day, every day. It has been discussed that not EVERY woman is insecure, so that statement just makes no sense. Unless you have already decided to lump all women into one category based on your interactions with one particular woman. Which, if that is the case, means that there is really no help we can offer. Your mind is made up. And Bonfire... God knows I don't always agree with Bonfire's opinion, but to wish terminal cancer on someone? Come on now... You no longer seem like an emo 15 year old, now you seem like an emotionally-stunted adult who can only think on a 6 year old level, but is dickish enough to not have the slightest bit of care about human life.

I would like to point out that YOU came on this forum and posted. YOU asked people to comment. And when one person didn't do it the way YOU wanted it done, YOU wished terminal cancer on them. That seems to me like YOU are the one who is controlling and can not handle anything outside of your own narrow worldview.

Even if Bonfire said your children were baggage (which she didn't, I might add), that is not an attack on them. And even if you consider it to be an attack, your wishing cancer on her because of that is like dropping an atom bomb on someone who cut you off in traffic.

Your level of response is all out of whack. And I don't know if that has anything to do with your current gf not trusting you, but I wouldn't doubt it.

You also were upset because Bonfire called you scum and then edited it? I have no doubt that you have been called worse things in your life. I'm thinking of at least 20-30 worse things I could call you right now, in fact.

You say you want to have a mature conversation and discuss things. Then you have to be mature to do that. Your actions in this thread have shown you to be anything but mature.

I am sure that this response will have you in a tizzy and probably wishing that I will have cancer-stricken hornets fly up my nose and rot in my sinuses until my brain dissolves. And if that is your response, so be it. I don't plan on responding. But before I end this comment, let me add one final bit of advice - Grow the hell up.

Good luck.

[DowninNJ]

Some people will do that, they will dislike everyone that came before them. Sometimes it is jealousy, sometimes it is actual care for the person they are with because they think that people in the past haven't been as good to them as they are. It is just the way some people are, and open and honest communication, done in a respectful and caring manner, is the only way to work through it.

However, I don't know if that is you. You seem like you are an immature fool who jumps to conclusions and blows things out of proportion. (If I need examples, the title of this post, the last sentence in the original post, and wishing death on Bonfire.) Obviously the world didn't end, because you are still here talking to us. So that was simply hyperbole. Fair enough, but it makes you sound like a 15 year old kid who listens to too much emo and watches Twilight all day, every day. It has been discussed that not EVERY woman is insecure, so that statement just makes no sense. Unless you have already decided to lump all women into one category based on your interactions with one particular woman. Which, if that is the case, means that there is really no help we can offer. Your mind is made up. And Bonfire... God knows I don't always agree with Bonfire's opinion, but to wish terminal cancer on someone? Come on now... You no longer seem like an emo 15 year old, now you seem like an emotionally-stunted adult who can only think on a 6 year old level, but is dickish enough to not have the slightest bit of care about human life.

I would like to point out that YOU came on this forum and posted. YOU asked people to comment. And when one person didn't do it the way YOU wanted it done, YOU wished terminal cancer on them. That seems to me like YOU are the one who is controlling and can not handle anything outside of your own narrow worldview.

Even if Bonfire said your children were baggage (which she didn't, I might add), that is not an attack on them. And even if you consider it to be an attack, your wishing cancer on her because of that is like dropping an atom bomb on someone who cut you off in traffic.

Your level of response is all out of whack. And I don't know if that has anything to do with your current gf not trusting you, but I wouldn't doubt it.

You also were upset because Bonfire called you scum and then edited it? I have no doubt that you have been called worse things in your life. I'm thinking of at least 20-30 worse things I could call you right now, in fact.

You say you want to have a mature conversation and discuss things. Then you have to be mature to do that. Your actions in this thread have shown you to be anything but mature.

I am sure that this response will have you in a tizzy and probably wishing that I will have cancer-stricken hornets fly up my nose and rot in my sinuses until my brain dissolves. And if that is your response, so be it. I don't plan on responding. But before I end this comment, let me add one final bit of advice - Grow the hell up.

Good luck.

you didn't attack my kids so I have no reason to wish death on you, even though you seem to be more focused on my world view than my actual situation. So yes, attack my kids and I prefer the person stops breathing. That's my world view. You nor anyone else has to like it. As for your bit of input before deciding to berate me, thanks. I guess. All I hear is people protecting some worthless trash that out of the startin gate decided to turn this into a slugfest. I really don't give a Shit. I didn't come here for help, but for insight. I received a little so I guess that's about my use of this place. Hope bonfires mass is the size of a golfball by now......

[DowninNJ]

Let's spespeed this up. Make it a football.

[jessld]

you didn't attack my kids so I have no reason to wish death on you, even though you seem to be more focused on my world view than my actual situation. So yes, attack my kids and I prefer the person stops breathing. That's my world view. You nor anyone else has to like it. As for your bit of input before deciding to berate me, thanks. I guess. All I hear is people protecting some worthless trash that out of the startin gate decided to turn this into a slugfest. I really don't give a Shit. I didn't come here for help, but for insight. I received a little so I guess that's about my use of this place. Hope bonfires mass is the size of a golfball by now......

OI MATE SHUT UP WITH WISHING DEATH UPON PEOPLE I'm ****en 21 mate and ur how old. You should be far more mature than that. Wishing death upon someone is sick and maybe you should see someone coz thats mentally ****ed up. YES I personally dont agree with people and may dislike people. But wanting people dead is a far out no no for me. Now we all need help in life and love this is why we are all here to give that. Take it or dont take it. But dont wish death and dont get upset over the tiny little things. Words are words. Even better yet words on the internet (wow sooo tough). Be the bigger person and sit down and shut the hell up. Listen to what others have to say and improve on your relationship (im assuming this is what you are wanting to do) but do no wish death upon people ever. That is just pure horrible. If a 21 year old can point this out than surely a grown man like yourself should no better. Do you want YOUR kids going around telling other people or better yet yourself they wish you were dead? I dont think so. You need a long hard look at yourself. The End.

[hello1]

If my boyfriend was still in touch his his ex I tell him go **** himself!

She don't want to see the girl you had sex with, you were once in love with. You should think about how your girlfriend is feeling, she is your future not your ex.

Also wishing death on someone is crazy, so what if someone insulted your kids? she/he dont know your kids so you shouldnt be offended