I'm going to try to give all the info that I think is pertinent here so that I can get honest feed back. I hope that I haven't droned on and I appreciate your comments.
Here are the facts:
I have known this guy for over 10 years and there has always been an attraction between us, but we've never been single at the same time.
Our teenage kids really like the each other and other - my son likes him and his daughter likes me.
We have always been there for each other when one of us is in need.
We've become pretty close friends over the last 2+ years.
We have always flirted with each other.
his girlfriend:
He's been with Mary for about 5 years. His daughter does not like her and she is not good with her. None of his friends like her. In fact, I am the only one who isn't telling him on a regular basis to get away from her. I have always told him that it's not my place to judge his relationship and I believe that he needs to do what's best for him and his daughter. Mary was laid off last year and he has felt responsible for taking care of her. He has made it clear to everyone that he doesn't see himself as ever marrying her and that this was not intended to be a forever type relationship.
the progression:
We don't talk and Mary and their relationship often, but he has said some things, for example;
He told me two years ago that he didn't know why he was still with her. A little over a year ago he told me that he doesn't feel loved or appreciated by Mary. Then almost a month ago that he has decided it's over and he's moving out on his birthday (next month). About two weeks ago he started intensely flirting with me and we've talked, texted or im'd everyday. We have started hanging out together a little bit more than in the past and when we do, he seems more conscious of doing things like opening doors for me and other little things.
my feelings:
I really like this guy. I find myself more attracted to him that I have felt in many years. I could actually see myself with him. He has always me me feel special and amazing in general.
Because of my principals and that fact that I believe that I could have real feelings for him, I will do nothing more than flirt with him so long as Mary is anywhere in the picture. I also do not want to be any kind of rebound, so have made the decision that I will not get involved with him until he's been single for 3 months.
We have not had any serious conversations about 'us' but there are frequent comments about how things would be, if... I think it's pre-mature to do this while Mary is still around because his relationship with her has nothing to do with me and I do not have any need or desire to be involved in it or its end. If he were to stay with her forever, I would still be his friend and always there for him and I'm sure be happy with someone else.
my question:
Am I being foolish by allowing myself to develop feelings for this guy right now?