How do i know if this older guy likes me?

[zoomx3]

there's this grad student i like in my lab (he's 9 years older, i'm freshman undergrad; he's super shy and from China if that helps). and lately, he's been talking to me a lot after we did an experiment together and had a real conversation.
he remembers random things i said, some that i don't even remember. and he seems to ask a lot of questions about me. he initiates conversation and asks for my opinion on a lot of things.
and yesterday, he said i looked beautiful because i was wearing a skirt (but it wasn't anything fancy...) and i'm not sure if he really meant beautiful and not pretty or cute because his english is not the best.
and he always offers to help me on research. even when i don't really need it and haven't asked.

anyways, any advice on how to continue? and does he actually like me... or does he just think of me as a good friend in the lab? and even if he does like me... i feel like as a chinese guy, since they're usually more conservative, he wouldn't ask me out because of my age...

[Superfantastich]

I think it definately sounds like he is into you, maybe offer to do something together outside uni and see how he reacts?

[nerdy_guy]

(he's 9 years older, i'm freshman undergrad; he's super shy and from China if that helps)

Really helps a lot. I wouldn't fall head over heels for him if I were you. Girls from china look for foreigners to marry expecting better lives from them, either sucking their finances dry, and/or forcibly "in a subtle way" ask them to get them out of China. Men are no different.

[devonbrown]

It definitely sounds like he is interested in you. If you are comfortable with it, ask him to go get some coffee or something to continue a conversation. Suggest it casually at the end of lab or one of your study sessions with him so as to not make it seem like too big of a deal. However, once outside the lab, that will allow you and him to concentrate on each other and not the science.

Good luck.

[zoomx3]

but i've heard that chinese guys don't like girls who take the initiative?
and is there any way to show him i like him... like a more subtle way in case he doesn't actually like me

[Yet another guy]

I've heard that flirting is very effective.

[NytNrs&Mmartist]

My answer is yes he likes you. Question is that do you like him as much as he likes you?

[zoomx3]

I'm almost positive that I like him more... and I started liking him earlier. But who knows...
I've asked some of my friends about what to do and they all say that 9 years is too much and that I should just let it go

Also, my current research mentor is leaving the lab so I either have to switch labs or find a new mentor in the lab. Is it inappropriate to ask him to be my mentor if I feel like a relationship may develop...??

[nerdy_guy]

but i've heard that chinese guys don't like girls who take the initiative?

Not anymore. Takes the possibly heartbreaking guesswork out. What's not to like?

[SapphireBerry]

dont worry about anything just go for it! the signs are there, this one looks good. Take a chance, ask him to hang out

[zoomx3]

so today, he asked me out to lunch... so i should assume he likes me?
or is there still a possibility that we're just friends or that he thinks of me as a little sister?

[Jolicoeur]

so today, he asked me out to lunch... so i should assume he likes me?
or is there still a possibility that we're just friends or that he thinks of me as a little sister?

Advice from a once-upon-a-time-shy-guy (= moi): the guy's definitely looking for romance. If he's really shy, this has been a great effort from his part. He's probably been rehearsing that ask-you-out moment over and over, letting sleep and work for it.

Don't break his heart, zoomx3. Give him at least two dates. Even if he ends up not being the guy for you, you could ruin his confidence for years to come.

Also, my current research mentor is leaving the lab so I either have to switch labs or find a new mentor in the lab. Is it inappropriate to ask him to be my mentor if I feel like a relationship may develop...??

It's not inappropriate, but I don't think it's a good idea. While you're together, it will probably not help your lab work. And if you ever break up, lab work will be hell. Keep business and pleasure separated.

[zoomx3]

Advice from a once-upon-a-time-shy-guy (= moi): the guy's definitely looking for romance. If he's really shy, this has been a great effort from his part. He's probably been rehearsing that ask-you-out moment over and over, letting sleep and work for it.

Don't break his heart, zoomx3. Give him at least two dates. Even if he ends up not being the guy for you, you could ruin his confidence for years to come.

It's not inappropriate, but I don't think it's a good idea. While you're together, it will probably not help your lab work. And if you ever break up, lab work will be hell. Keep business and pleasure separated.

thanks!!
and you don't think the age gap will deter him from officially dating me..??

[Jolicoeur]

and you don't think the age gap will deter him from officially dating me..??

You're asking the wrong guy here. I'm secretly in love with a girl who's 16 years younger than me.

The only thing I wonder about in your case: is this guy grading your lab work? He could get in trouble with the university/college if so.

[HeartIsAching]

The signs are there.

Ask him out for coffee. If that's too forward, it wouldn't have worked anyhow.