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Thread: This her way of saying not interested ? Should i move on or give it time ?

  1. #1
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    This her way of saying not interested ? Should i move on or give it time ?

    Girl I've known for over a year now, she can be shy and emotionally inward, big emotional set of armour thicker than steel she seems to wear. We started getting close, once got drunk on a night out, she asked me to come she her at a bar, then when I left to see my friends she kept texting me to come to another bar she had gone to, I eventually did and later we went back to hers, shared her bed together, nothing happened apart from a bit of cuddling, things got a bit weird but went back to normal. Not long after we went out for the day together and had a good time, she seemed happy but again things started to go down hill. We were meant to meet up again but on the day she said she couldn't, with the way things had been going I just assumed it was an excuse and decided that she wasn't interested in me anymore and started to try just being friends. Yet for the last 5 month at least we've text each other everyday throughout the day.

    I was texting my friend telling her about the recent text's she sent me because my friend said she would give me some advice, however the text I was meant to send to my friend I accidentally sent to the girl I like which it was about, this was the text said:

    ''She's eventually replied to me and the convo was wasn't great not snotty, just kinda normal and she kept putting xx on the end whereas I put none and I'm not sure what to think about it anymore, though I'm happy still''


    She asked what I wanted her to reply, so I just told her nothing the text wasn't meant for her. We didn't talk for most the next day till I decided to man up abit and bring the issue up again. It seemed like she was trying to avoid talking about the text, I brought it up saying that the text made things awkward between us and I didn't want that, I just wanted to get things straightened out properly because it was pointless talking if it was just going to be awkward all the time but she never replied.

    Even though she gave signs of interest mentioned at the top, should I take her evasiveness as her saying not interested ?

  2. #2
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    OMG! Would everyone please stop texting during the intro portion of a relationship!!!! Its so easy to lose translations and have things go bad. So easy to send the wrong text .NEVER EVER text to carry on a conversation. Its so stupid and pointless.

    Texting and Facebook.....2 of the worst social dividers today.
    Last edited by surfhb; 19-05-11 at 09:10 PM.

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    As much as your right, could you please give some advice on the rest of the post it you wouldn't mind ?

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    Even though she gave signs of interest mentioned at the top, should I take her evasiveness as her saying not interested ?
    Sorry......Yes. If a girl stops talking...thats not good

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    Thank you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by surfhb View Post
    NEVER EVER text to carry on a conversation. Its so stupid and pointless.
    I agree completely. I would only text someone if they don't pick up the phone or I know they aren't available. If a girl started texting me, I would answer by calling her back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Balance11 View Post
    Even though she gave signs of interest mentioned at the top, should I take her evasiveness as her saying not interested ?
    You should never over analyze. That's what girls do. Talk things through with her. Ask her out on a date again. If she backs out, ask her if she's interested at all.

  7. #7
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    These things happen. You were probably thinking a lot about her when selecting the name on your mobile phone instead of your friend's.

    Well long before I read what happened with the text I was thinking 'here we go again...one person with issues stringing another along through her soul searching..'
    Your gir is not ready for a relationship fo whatever reason. Still she needs attention or someone to turn to when she gets too emotional. It's you. If she meant to be in a relationship you would be in one already.

    What se needs is to sort herself out before she startsa relationship. There are countless posts on here on people who got antangled in a relationship with people having unresolved issues and you can waste many valuable years of your life going nowhere.
    A relationship needs a dynamic, it needs to go somewhere, be constructive from the start.What's been happening so far is neither fun nor romantic. It's childish at the most.

    How old are you two?

    As for the incident with the text message I would go and apologise to her for bringing a third party t the equation (a female friend which is even worse)...you need to explain you are so lost sometimes that you felt the need for a female opinion.
    On a happier note, your test was not unkind at all and shows that you truly care, I like the end of it 'I'm happy still'...it's heart-warming...
    "Oh I could spend my life having this conversation. Look, please try to understand before one of us dies"

    Quote Originally Posted by Yet another guy View Post
    It's just plain simpler to view the world as black and white rather than probabilistic shades of gray.

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    I think you are right, i like her alot and in all honesty as pathetic as it probably sounds i'd wait for her to sort herself out enough to have a meaningful relationship if i knew that A. She would sort out whatever it is that is stopping her and B. that she would want to be in a relationship with me. So what would the best advice be now ? Wait a few days maybe a week and see if she contacts me ? Contact her and try to get some sort of normality back or forget it and move on ? I dont want to hang around for something that is never going to happen, but i still have some hope and dont want to just give up on her unless she came out and directly said '' i never have or will like you in that way''.

  9. #9
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    Just explain exactly what you are saying on here..don't be afraid of stating your hopes...let her think about it and then come back for a clear answer...if she is not even able to tell you what is causing her so much hesitation then she can't be good for you...

    You've known hr one year and know so little about her...it's strange.
    "Oh I could spend my life having this conversation. Look, please try to understand before one of us dies"

    Quote Originally Posted by Yet another guy View Post
    It's just plain simpler to view the world as black and white rather than probabilistic shades of gray.

  10. #10
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    I know her in sense of what she likes, dislikes things like that, but she isn't very revealing of her past so much, there was couple of things she told me form the past, things she didn't want other people to know and i never judged her on them or told anyone to this day what she said, if anything i post on here for some sort of confirmation either keep going or move on because in way i guess i'm like her in the sense i'm to much of wuss to wear my heart on my sleeve as i think they say. I cant tell if she is being inward but interested or thinking ''what a freak, best not talk to him'' thats my hesitation with being more open.

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