flowers or no flowers?

[jsw]

Hi everyone.

I have been casually dating this girl that I like a lot for about a month now. We are both in to each other but we just want to take our time.

I am meeting her tonight for our fourth date, but we talk a decent amount of time so we have gotten pretty close. I work in the city so she wants to pick me up from the station, pay for dinner and whatever we decide to do after, and then drive me home 30 min. She says she wants to do this because I have planned and paid for most things so far.

My question is should i arrive with flowers just as a way to say thanks for doing all this? She has paid for a few things, like a few rounds after we had dinner, so its really not necessary for her to pay for everything. On our third date we went into the city and I mailed her train tickets as a surprise so she didnt have to pay for them, so would doing that kind of stuff seem a little over the top?

Thanks a lot!!

[DarkHelmet82]

Personally Im a hopeless romatic type of guy and I love giving flowers.. BUt I also cant seem to hold a relationship.. so I would do the opposite of what I would do. lol....so i would hold off until you get a little more serious...

how old are you?

[jsw]

I am 24, she is 21. I was in a long term relationship that ended late december early january, she had a two year relationship that ended like in february or march.

[Mathias]

i would hold off until you get a little more serious...

This. I'm as much of a fan of flowers as anyone else, but let her do this nice thing for you without having to give her something. It kind of takes away from what she's trying to do for you here. Let this be her night.

Obviously thank her afterward.

[DarkHelmet82]

someone young like that might misinterpet the flowers.. hold off.

[Nicholas_V]

if you shower her with flowers at the time you meet, she will have to be carrying them around wherever you two go that evening - not convenient. Or they will be thrown and forgotten in the backseat of her car (i.e. waste of flowers). Get a single red rose with you for the date (or whatever colour you think suits best) and send her a proper bouquet with a thank you card the next morning to her place/office or wherever again you think is more appropriate.

You don't need to be serious about someone to behave like a gentleman btw...

[DarkHelmet82]

No red roses!

[Wakeup]

I'd wait and give her flowers another time. If you give them to her while in the city, they're going to get awfully thirsty while you're having dinner and what ever else it is that will keep you away from home.

There's other ways to thank her ;o)

One red rose and then a bouquet the next day is overkill. I'd start to feel creeped out and wonder if you're on a different page than me. It's only been 4 dates and although it sounds like you're coasting along nicely.. you dont' want to freak the girl out.

She wants to treat you, just let her then next time you treat... include flowers. Just my female opinion.

[qwertz]

Yeah shower her with millions of flowers and balloons.

No, dont.

[doppelgaenger]

I used to buy girls flowers


when I was 14 years old.

[qwertz]

Hey, i like receiving flowers, spontaneously is best, though. Its not an age thing, its just i dont think its appropriate at this time.

[Nicholas_V]

Ok - I think this thread has missed the point. My understanding of the OP's question is that he's going out with a female who will pick him up, deliver him back home and pay his expenses. My reaction to this, and given that there is NO guarantee that hey will have another date (as they are not "officially" a couple yet), is to get her something of equal value to what she is going to spend on him. I do just that, no matter whether I go out with a male friend, female friend, business associate or whoever I don't see too often and I think it's only fair. The argument "pay next time" applies only if you know for sure that there will be a next time soon enough.

As to whether flowers is the right choice for returning the the courtesy - again, people do not offer flowers only on romantic occassions. Obviously there is the stereotype of sending flowers to females and case of wine to males. You can go to a flourist and ask them to make a synteshis for you as formal or as least romantic as you like.

I used to buy girls flowers


when I was 14 years old.

And what do you buy them now? Shotguns? lol

[surfhb]

She offered to pay. Giving her something just because of that make him look like a douchbag. If she's paying, she's clearly into you. There will be another date after this for sure..... Unless the OP is a complete ass.

No flowers.....just a huge smile.

[Boisdevie]

Can't you give her cunnilingus as a thankyou instead?

[Wakeup]

What if she's alergic?