Venting one last time :(

[hope555]

I have been generally been doing great in the last few weeks. Actually feeling happy. I have mostly forgotten what it feels like to have a bf and be in love, so my single life right now didn't bother me. I know my ex has a new gf as I've seen a picture before on facebk. I accidently decided to unblock him from facebook last night...bad mistake...more pictures of him and his gf. The pictures look like bliss...looks like they're so much in love!! Its such gorgeous, genuine happiness, it breaks my heart. Me and him didn't even have one picture together when we dated..and if we did, he would've never put it up on facebook.

The hardest thing I have ever gone through is this realization of the fact that my ex can be loving, normal bf, he just was a complete jerk to ME! It makes me feel like garbage...like I'm worth nothing. That even my best attempt at being a gf was not enough. It sucks SOO much that he was such a jerk to me, and now has the love of his life and everything is working out just fine for him. I'm always the one that gets left behind with a broken heart, even though i've done nothing to deserve any of it!! i've had absolutely no prospects for the last few months since the breakup. Anyway..it just makes me sad that I had him first, but we couldn't make it work..and now someone else swoops in and makes it all perfect...makes it everything I wanted with him. Sucks a lot!!!! I feel like it'll never be MY time. I want to be in love, I want to meet my future husband sometime soon...as I'm 25 and not getting any younger How do I get through such a strong feeling of hopelessness and sadness??

Hugs anyone?

[DarkHelmet82]

I feel the same way as you but Im 29. So you have years ahead of me. My issue is that my ex wants to be with me but cant and I am therefore in a permenant limbo... At least in your situation you can move on and you dont have any hope to cling onto. You will find someone when you arent looking, in the meantime work on yourself.

I deactivated my facebook. As I find it really serves no purpose except making me feel miserable and stalkerish (constantly checking her page etc...) Maybe you should do the same. I hope this helps

[Ly-Tasha]

Okay when times get going bad you need to look at the good things. First you have to say I am alive and have good health I am assuming. Than all the other things you have that others don't that you can count for. This not only takes your mind off others but it lets you get happy and away from feeling down. Visit is website also as it may help you. longtermrelationship.info.

[Toddstar]

My 2 cents; facebook should never be looked at if you are looking at an ex. It will hurt you bad. I havent looked at mine in at least 4 months and I am happier for it. Ignorance is bliss in this case. Second, set yourself some goals, be it health goals (ie breaking an 8 min mile by Sept 1) or mental goals (I will not think of my ex today and if I do I will smile and say so what!) or financial goals, write them down, put them in your purse or wallet and look at them everyday and do not stop until you get there. I made goals at Christmas time last year and I have achieved 60% of them; mine were things like no more of my ex in my life (fail), go to Florida more (pass), reach a certain weight by a certain date (in progress), break 8 min mile (in progress), pay off credit card debt by July 15th (will pass)...it gives your mind something to think about and puts you in control of you.

As well, associating your hurt to your ex will eventually tell your brain that your ex = pain! And who wants pain! And the new man in your life will = pleasure. We all gotta get our minds focused and in control. Easier said than done but it can work.

Hope you will be ok.

[pisces25]

Just keep reminding yourself he is a jerk and you are better off without him. They may look happy but every relationship has its problems. And only you can make you feel like garbage. You are saying he makes you feel like garbage but no one else is responsible for the way you feel. Work on being happy with where you are at now and the future will work itself out. Place your trust in that.

[Windmillback]

Yes, you get the hugs

Learn this, people's hearts are of all different sizes and no two people love each other equally. If you are the one in a relationship who loves more, than when you break up you'll hurt more, but having a big heart is such a rich life experience that you wouldn't want to trade with anyone. It has 2 sides however and right now it hurts terribly. At 25 you have your whole life ahead of you. You are going to enjoy life experiences that you cannot even imagen now. Trust in that.

[LouisP]

Hugs anyone?

I'm sending my love

[hope555]

Thank you soooooo much for all your support. It actually always helps such a ton that I don't know what to say...except thank you. At the end of the day, I realized that I come from a simple, middle class family, and just want that simple dream of a house, dog and baby for myself one day...with a good, honest man that is sort of cute, but mostly, a huge sweetheart. Going through this breakup made me question everything about myself...am I not interesting enough? Or pretty enough? Or fun enough? I have trouble going on dates just in case these are true. I mean my ex knew me at my most intimate level, and he didn't find me all that great...he finds his new gf much better. How do you get over this insecurity you feel after breaking up? That nagging thought that says "maybe I'm not all that...no wonder he left me.." I mean enough guys think I'm pretty...and I'm quite smart, finish up graduate school in medical science....but I always feel like I have something missing that stops guys from going from sort of liking me, to loving me.

[Cerby]

I feel the same way as you but Im 29. So you have years ahead of me. My issue is that my ex wants to be with me but cant and I am therefore in a permenant limbo... At least in your situation you can move on and you dont have any hope to cling onto. You will find someone when you arent looking, in the meantime work on yourself.

I deactivated my facebook. As I find it really serves no purpose except making me feel miserable and stalkerish (constantly checking her page etc...) Maybe you should do the same. I hope this helps

DH, you're aloowing yourself to be stuck in permanent limbo. I got the same "I just can't be with you right now" from my ex and I'm working on letting it go. You chose limbo when you should choose to move forward.

[DarkHelmet82]

DH, you're aloowing yourself to be stuck in permanent limbo. I got the same "I just can't be with you right now" from my ex and I'm working on letting it go. You chose limbo when you should choose to move forward.

well what shes doing isnt helping but yeah your right.

[pisces25]

he didn't find me all that great...

Key word here is HE. There are many reasons many people don't find us 'that great'. Work on getting to the point where you think you are great and what other people think won't matter to you. The right man will come along to complement you not complete you. You sound like a real catch to me. So make sure you are putting out those positive vibes and being confident with what you have rather than be negative about what you don't have. Everything you're not makes you everything you are and trust me one day someone, probably more than one person, will see that. In regards to am I not interesting enough? Or pretty enough? Or fun enough? how about changing your thinking to maybe HE wasn't interesting enough or fun enough. Even if you were those things it still probably wouldn't have worked coz he decided you were not what he was looking for. But you are what someone else is looking for. Believe me on that.

[hope555]

Thank you pisces25!!! You're awesome you said the exact words I wanted to hear. I feel amazing today after reading your post. I don't even have to pretend that HE wasn't fun enough...he actually wasn't! I always wanted to go for live music shows, dinners, beaches, hang out with friends, just have a good time in general...he pretty much did was workout and work at the lab. I'm sure for another girl, he may want to do more fun things. But for me, we just didn't click. Thanks a lot! Message me if you ever need to talk.

[senokotmax]

he didn't find me all that great...

Key word here is HE. There are many reasons many people don't find us 'that great'. Work on getting to the point where you think you are great and what other people think won't matter to you. The right man will come along to complement you not complete you. You sound like a real catch to me. So make sure you are putting out those positive vibes and being confident with what you have rather than be negative about what you don't have. Everything you're not makes you everything you are and trust me one day someone, probably more than one person, will see that. In regards to am I not interesting enough? Or pretty enough? Or fun enough? how about changing your thinking to maybe HE wasn't interesting enough or fun enough. Even if you were those things it still probably wouldn't have worked coz he decided you were not what he was looking for. But you are what someone else is looking for. Believe me on that.

Thank you for this post.