Conflicted Crush - URGENT!

[atodd]

Please read this post to get a background on my situation:
(I'm obviously asking about the guy with the code name "the musician")

[url=http://anotherboyrant.tumblr.com/post/6817070384/the-musician]THE MUSICIAN.[/url]

The time of the texting conversation was last night. I haven't heard from him yet...
One friend thinks I shouldn't talk to him (unless he talks to me) for two weeks before I ask him what he has decided. Another friend thinks I should wait no later than this Sunday. My guy friend thinks that if I don't continue to talk to him casually at least, it's like I'm throwing in the towel.

I don't want to make the wrong move and screw this up because I REALLY like this guy. I legitimately think he likes me too. He has even told his close friends and family about me. My mom ran into his older sister the other day, and she gushed about how much he seemed to like me.

PLEASE HELP.

[MerryH]

Are you advertising your website, or honestly asking for advice?

If you want advice, I'd recommend you take that link out of your post and copy and paste whatever it is here.

[atodd]

I'm definitely not advertising my site. I just made that blog to vent...I thought it might be easier on the eyes.
Thanks for the advice.

HERE'S MY (EDITED) POST!

I’ve actually known this guy for a long time. He went to the same public high school in my area as a lot of my friends, except he’s a year older than me—21! Woo! AND 6’3! AND HAS A DREAMY VOICE! AND THINKS I’M BEAUTIFUL! AND FINDS MY SHYNESS/AWKWARDNESS GENUINE AND ENDEARING! Amazing, I know…

What’s not so amazing? The reason that I know him is because not only was he a part of my general (large) friend group, he also dated one of my friends. Oops. :x

I never thought I would be “that girl.” You know, the girl who breaks girl code and goes after one of her friend’s ex’s. Butttt, here I am. In my defense, my friend and I aren’t that close..we’ve just known each other for a long time. And I just started talking to this guy about his music and it ended up being a 4 hour long convo that turned into another 5 hour long convo — completely innocent!

We discovered that we’ve both always had a thing for each other, but obviously suppressed it because we were both dating someone at the same period of time. Since our long chats, I went to go see him play, then we went on a date (dinner, movie, drinks & kissing), he came over one night, and then he came over another night to eat dinner with my fam and watch a movie that we rented.

So, I guess you could say we’ve hung out A LOT since we first started talking. I’m not complaining about that. Before you think I’m a terrible person.. yes, I did call my friend before I went out with this guy. She thanked me for being sweet and mature enough to call her and said that I “had her blessing,” so to speak. I wish it could have stayed that easy.

BUT, of course not. My friend called me on Monday (the day that he was to come over for dinner with my fam)…and had this big, dramatic conversation (still civil) about how even though she still respected me for calling, she is really confused emotionally and thinks she’s still in love with him..this is going to be a lot harder than she thought it would be, etc etc.

….great….

My friend has a lot of great qualities, including being hilarious and always entertaining. However, with those qualities comes her greatest downfall — she has to be the center of attention. Everything revolves around her. She’s just one of those girls who will string along her ex’s and have them within arm’s reach. She broke up with him. And was fine with us seeing each other, to boot. Now, because she feels like she’s losing him since he’s showing an interest in me, she ALL OF THE SUDDEN is having this epiphany that she wants him back, and is calling him and trying to pull him back in.

I am not going to beg a guy to like me if he’s still hung up on his ex—not going to happen. And, thus far, I’ve been really understanding of their situation and have even welcomed her emotional phone calls. Up until just recently, he shoved off the whole ordeal, claiming it was silly and she was just a jealous ex (obviously not the whole story). I know he’s trying to spare my feelings and not ruin our time together, but ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

I finally had to put my foot down. My conversation with him ended like this:

Me: I’m sorry things have been so dramatic and stressful for you! I just talked to [my friend]. I really enjoy hanging out with you, but if there’s stuff y’all need to work out, that’s ok, and I don’t want to be in the way. Just be honest.

TM: Don’t be sorry. Everything gets complicated when the ex gets jealous.

…..

Me: Are you sure that’s all this is about? I mean, I’ll believe you..I just don’t want to be stupid, you know?

TM: I am just confused about what I need to do. I just feel like she is doing this because she wants what she can’t have.

Me: I think she does love you and she’s also confused…but she has a track record of being like that with guys. I mean, Idk. If you still want to be with her, just let me know.

TM: Really, I didn’t know that…I like how you are being mature about this.

Me: Well, I understand that y’all dated for a long time, and that lingering feelings, etc. will be there. I just want you to know that I don’t want to get in the middle of it, so if you need time and space to figure things out, that’s ok.

TM: You are really cool, thank you

Me: Of course.

….so dammit. I guess he’s taking me up on my offer. :/ I know there wasn’t any better way I could have handled it, but I really do like him. This sucks.

We’ll see what happens—-when/if he talks to me again. Ugh.

[MerryH]

He didn't really answer your question. I think he was evasive on purpose. I don't know if that's a good sign or a bad one. I'm leaning toward it being a bad sign. Ideally, he would have said something like, "She can go kick rocks, I don't care." But he's "confused" and thanked you for your offer of time and space.

I don't think you should wait a certain amount of time to ask him what he's decided. I'm pretty sure it will be obvious what he chooses to do. Just wait it out. Or move on, because you don't really need to wait on someone who can't decide whether they should pursue you or get back together with an ex.

[atodd]

So, you don't think engaging in casual conversation would be a good idea? I should just avoid contact and wait and and see what happens?

[atodd]

I need more advice!!

I followed my friend (and mom's) advice and sent him a casual message earlier today. We have been messaging back and forth periodically throughout the day...just friendly, not flirty at all. However, he has been keeping the conversation going when there have been plenty of instances where he could have easily ended it.

Any ideas on what could be going through his head? Or how I should proceed?