Conflicted

[Tribulation]

I'm sorry if this is the wrong place for this topic as it's not exactly about a relationship. But hey, on to the question/story. Last week I asked a girl to the high school prom. She responded with a, "Sorry, but I have a date." Yeah, kinda sucked but it wasn't that bad when I found that the guy she was going with wasn't her new flame. So right now, she's dateless, but still going to prom anyway. She asked me if I was going to go today and I said maybe. She told me that I should so I responded, "I'll think about it." I wouldn't mind going, especially if it were with her, but I'm not sure if I should. I know that when a guy shows that he'll do anything the girl asks, she won't give a shit about him (most anyway). And while I'm not a loyal little lapdog, I'm not sure if she'd see me that way if I did go.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, I know I'm an old broad and maybe I just don't understand the way things work these days, but it was always my understanding that prom was a big date event.

Is it common for peple to just show up at prom without a date?

[TAVS]

Um, it seems to me like she was dropping a pretty big hint. I mean, if she is no longer going with the guy she was planning to go with, it seems to me like she was hoping you'd ask again

[vashti]

Giga - I think there used to be dates when people actually *dated*. Now there isn't any dating going on - instead you have a bunch of kids acting like they are involved in some deeply serious romance, and *those* are the kids who usually go with someone. The rest of the kids NOT involved in a "deeply serious relationship" go alone, and every now and then you get a freethinker who will ask a girl for a proper date.

Original poster - I see no harm in your going, but I sure as hell wouldn't pay for her ticket at this point if I were you.

[Gribble]

What's a proper date? Hanging out and having a good time, no strings attached, or is there more to it?

[vashti]

That's pretty much it... just spending a little time together having some fun without expecting that the two of you will be exclusive from that point on. It's like casual sex without the sex. You do it to determine whether or not you actually *like* each other and to get to know one another better.

[Tribulation]

Now there isn't any dating going on - instead you have a bunch of kids acting like they are involved in some deeply serious romance, and *those* are the kids who usually go with someone.

Yeah, that's about how it is these days. I don't know if prom is a big date anymore. At least not here. I wish things were as simple as they used to be.

Original poster - I see no harm in your going, but I sure as hell wouldn't pay for her ticket at this point if I were you.

Ah hell no. They're kinda expensive and I'm strapped for money at the moment. She already has her ticket anyway. I wouldn't but it even if I did have the money. Maybe. I don't think that buying things for someone whom you are, or hope to be, romantically involved with is a bad thing, on the contrary, it's a nice thing to do. However, I'd just avoid buying *too* much, as it's practically saying, "I'm not confident that you're going to like me for me, so, here's something to make you like me!" I don't wanna go that route, I've seen where it ended.

[vashti]

I think if she accepted your original invitation to the prom, you should have paid for the ticket. He who asks should pay. However, since your original invitation was declined, forget it.

[Tribulation]

Well, I went to prom last night. Not sure what to think. The prom itself was fine and I had a good time. I'm just not sure how I did with the girl. I asked her to dance a few times, (we only slow danced, I've tried to do other dances but I can't). When we weren't dancing I either talked to her (I did most of the talking but that happens when I talk to most people so I'm not worried about that). When we weren't talking we didn't say much which worries me a bit. Another thing that worries me is the eye contact. It was fine as usual when we were talking but when we danced she had the tendancy to look around which also worries me. I caught her eye once and she looked back a second before looking away again. A few times while dancing she did close her eyes and smirk. Not sure where they came from. I'm also not sure if they're something or nothing.

[LoveTwist]

Well, I went to prom last night. Not sure what to think. The prom itself was fine and I had a good time. I'm just not sure how I did with the girl. I asked her to dance a few times, (we only slow danced, I've tried to do other dances but I can't). When we weren't dancing I either talked to her (I did most of the talking but that happens when I talk to most people so I'm not worried about that). When we weren't talking we didn't say much which worries me a bit. Another thing that worries me is the eye contact. It was fine as usual when we were talking but when we danced she had the tendancy to look around which also worries me. I caught her eye once and she looked back a second before looking away again. A few times while dancing she did close her eyes and smirk. Not sure where they came from. I'm also not sure if they're something or nothing.

I wouldn't worry about it, but it does sound like she's not really into you, which I guess isn't that surprising as you were the back up date. If you really like her, maybe try asking her out to do something else with you sometime and see how she responds, but sounds like she's not really interested in going out with you properly. Best to move on from this probably.

[vashti]

Looking around whhile dancing is normal, but smirking? uhhh... wtf?

[Gribble]

If she's smoking you better believe I'm gonna be smirking at all those jealous guys.

[Tribulation]

I wouldn't worry about it, but it does sound like she's not really into you, which I guess isn't that surprising as you were the back up date. If you really like her, maybe try asking her out to do something else with you sometime and see how she responds, but sounds like she's not really interested in going out with you properly. Best to move on from this probably.

I wasn't really the back up date. Least, I'm not sure I was. She's been suggesting I go to prom since before the other guy asked her. And yeah, I'll try and see if she'll do something else with me. Come to find out, she wasn't as bored as I thought she was at the prom. And really, I really do like her, and there isn't any other woman in the vacinity that I care about to that extent at the moment and no new ones are coming in so what the hell? Why not try?

[Ath]

Why not, indeed.

[Only-virgins]

Smirking at who?