I'm confused. The sex has dwindled in every one of your previous relationships. Why do you think changing up your partner will lead to anything different? The common denominator here is you and by the sounds of things you get lazy in your seduction and flirting and you expect your woman to just be ready without any mental or sexual or emotional anticipation. You cannot give up your game when you are in a long term relationship and expect to maintain a good and healthy libido for one another. You particularily have to keep doing what you did when you first were lusting after each other or, like you've come to discover over and over again, the desire will dwindle and you'll end up where you are now. Learn a lesson from that and stop doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.
- Part of me also feels resentful that while I have no degree (just a few classes shy of a BS), I have been very successful through hard work and being good with people. She has a Bachelor's in Psychology and graduated at the top of her class yet has quit one job after another while we've dated in the continuous pursuit of something that she likes. She is now back in school and I am covering every single bill we have including her cell phone bill and groceries and it's financially breaking me. While I feel it's a loving boyfriend, fiance, husband's duty to support their significant other, I can't help but feel resentful at the fact she isn't contributing anything at all financially.
Do you not know how to say "No" to your spouse? Surely you are bright enough to sit her down and tell her that you are not able to cover all the expenses and she'll need to find a part time job to help out. By not having that conversation with her you are enabling her to be who she is while you sit there and resent her for it all the while it's your own doing.
Part of me does feel resentful towards her as just a year and a half ago, one of our dogs was hit and killed by a car. I was at work at the time when I got the phone call. To this day part of me blames her inability to "think outside the box" for her death but I may be off-base. I had always showed my gf that if this particular dog every got away, you can chase her for a bit to see if you can catch her but if you can't, you should turn and walk away and she will come running after you (every time like clockwork). Although she did exactly this, she did so after the dog had crossed the main street to our apartment complex at the time which then meant that she had taken her eyes off the road and also was going to have the dog run back across the road to chase after her. This is indeed how she got hit.
I'm sure she feels guilty enough without you projecting your hate upon her for not "thinking outside the box." Let it go so that you're not suffering from the unpleasant feeling of resent.
Last edited by Wakeup; 30-06-11 at 12:15 AM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion