I'm so lost

[Left]

Living in the past is fruitless I know that much, but I can't help but remember my past and just break down. Here's my story, I am not the type to easily like someone, especially when I didn't get close to guys because of my father and past guy friends I had and the fact that my life was so lonely and I felt like dying. I had lost all sense of communication with my family and friends. In grade 9 this guy suddenly comes and talks to me, taking so much interest in me. Even when I ignored him because of something stupid he did, he tried so hard to get my attention. This was the first time anyone had given me such attention and it made my day every time I talked to him. He made me feel like enjoying life again, and I didn't feel sad anymore. I thought he was a really great miracle that happened. I was even happier when we started going out in late grade 10, but after a month of dating things got pretty rough. Later on he became really close with another crowd, a crowd so different from what I was used to. All preppy and gossipy I was surprised when he started to become like that. He started to neglect me and well I talked to him about it and he wanted a break and that we could start of as friends and date again. I didn't see that happening so I know it's over, I'm once again left alone, I still text him, but it hurts 'cause we don't talk like we used to. Now I'm feeling alone and depressed again after my false happiness. Having almost fallen in love with him, my hearts in shreds I don't know what to do anymore. He was my first crush, boyfriend and first true friend. How can I forget that?

[confusius]

I'm really sorry about what is happening with you. I understand it is tough to lose someone we genuinely liked and cared for. I see you guys are still in contact with each other and it seems to me that you never actually took a break for yourself. I think what you will hear from a lot of people here is to go no contact. If talking to him make you feel bad then you have got to stop contacting him. If he contacts you, keep if short and simple (if you can handle). If you can't, then tell him you need to be by yourself for a while.

So now here is the tricky part for you. It looks like you have no friends and you are not close to your family. What you have got to do during that time, your personal break from him, it is to try to get some friends. Be friendly, talk to your family if you can, and focus on making yourself happy. It looks like he brought a lot of "happiness" in your life. That wasn't really happiness. True happiness comes from withing and it seems to me that you have lost it. When someone is happy, the vibe spreads around and everyone will want to befriend the person.

If your problem is way deeper than what I think, problem with father and other guys, you need to talk to a grown up whose you can trust. Maybe you will have to see a psychiatrist. Nothing scary about doing those things, but either way you need to be strong. I want you to become a happy person. You don't need no guy to be so interested in you for you to become a happy and lovely person.

Time, time. I'm dealing with a breakup too and I have heard time is a magical healer. so

How can I forget that?

I guess give it time. Life is full of surprises. Some of them are sweet, and some of them are bitter. But that's what make life beautiful. Don't let anything put you down. Easy to say I know. But you have got to do it.

Much Love!

[Left]

Thank you so much for the advice, but I gained many new friends because of this boost I've gotten from him. I don't have many true friends and I only have Two or three that I can only somewhat talk to about these things. I really don't want to be around my "friends" sometimes and I really just want to talk to a few people. I tried to break contact with him, but it just made it worse. So, I ended up texting him. My family is another big issue, that will take time as well 'cause I don't have a source of income to move out of the house.

I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens as the new school year comes. I hope with time I can heal these wounds. Thank you so much for you thoughts and advice. Btw I tried seeing school consular, but it just made my dad mad so I don't go anymore.

[confusius]

You can try to become close friend with the three you somewhat share some things with. You do not need a bunch of friends to have a healthy friendship with others. Get to know them better and open to them if you think that they wouldn't have any problem with it. Pick a hobby and share with them if possible. Don't isolate yourself. We all tend to do that after a breakup. We don't see all those people who are around and are ready to listen to us.

Breaking contact with somebody you love it's really tough, but we all got to do what we got to do. Think about yourself; think about what make you happy; be selfish. He obviously was selfish when he broke up with you. He thought about what would make him happy so do the same. No contact it's to help you heal and to become stronger. After that maybe you won't want to talk to him anymore, or it will be possible to talk to him without being hurt.

You are going in 11th grade right? I don't think you have got to rush getting out of the family house. And talking to somebody may be helpful. Your dad don't want you to do it. Maybe you can try talking to him about it? I seriously can't help you with that one. Helpfully someone here will be of more help. Nonetheless emphasis on your happiness in whatever you do. Go out there and have fun.

You are young, he was your first everything, and there is more to come. Take this as a life experience and next time with a new person you will know how to handle things. If you are happy he will be happy too and you. But view your age you will have a lot to learn in relationships and that's alright. Always try to do you best.

[Left]

Yea this experience thought me a lot of things, that is true. I guess I can use that as an advantage when the next one come"s along. Again, its ok I don't think my family will be fixed that easily so I just have to wait and get out. I'm in a rush for that really because I just want to escape the horrible atmosphere. Me and my close friends are very very different so it's hard somtimes to find stuff to talk about, but I guess I'll try and explore what we may have in common. I hope my next school year brings many good experiences.

Again, thank you for your thoughts. I will try and go through with your advice, maybe it will isolate me less from society. But the one thing I'm not sure I can do is be more selfish because I really can't, I do a lot of things based on if the action benifits others as well as myself.