Question about No Contact

[C1d6OC]

Well after pondering, my question was answered last night. She called me. I didn't pick up, but I called her back. She told me her friend cancelled on her to go to this Gala on Saturday and wanted to know if I still wanted to go. I asked her WHY she wanted to go with me. She hesitated and then said she thought it would be fun and that she really needed someone to go with.

Just to give you all an idea. Last week when I established this no contact thing, I did confirm that I WOULDN'T be going to the Gala with her and she said she would find someone else. Turns out she did, but they cancelled.

Anyway, so I told her that I didn't understand why she was asking, because of the conversation we had last week and she said she knows and apologized and said if I felt uncomfortable I didn't have to go.

I guess I figure if she knew than WHY would she call me and also I just wanted to let you all know that you're right, I'll wait for her to call again. But let me know what you think of my answer. I can't be pulled on a string like this, but I do have some doubts about it.

[acidrein_08]

Go with her, show her how fun you can be.

[C1d6OC]

It's not that easy to just do that. I'm going to go with these strong feelings for her and sure I may have a good time, but it will be fake fun. I just can't stand seeing her not knowing we're not together anymore and I won't go based on her saying it would be fun. Because it wouldn't be fun for me when I know she just wants to be friends. Besides, I have a party to go to that night. The ONLY way I will go is if she has doubts about her decision. But even still, I will want to discuss things first. I just have to disagree with you acid. Sorry.

[acidrein_08]

Hey it's your life

[nfgfan]

If you're not cool with just being friends, you have to let her know that. Basicaly sit her down and let her know that, its either your together or nothing(not in those words ofcourse, but along those line). And then stop contacting her and wait and see if she contacts you, and if she does you know she still loves or wants to be together, and if she doesn't you know she didn't have strong enough feelings for you. This is just my two cents, so take it for what its worth

[cycletease]

Don't do it!!!!

You are NOT a fallback position...a date if someone else cancels. FORGET ABOUT THAT! I am even mad at the suggestion. Who does she think she is?!?!

YOU ARE BUSY THAT NIGHT even if it is watching a movie by yourself. Do not see this girl.

[C1d6OC]

Yeah I know. I'm not going. I do have a party that night. Maybe this will be a wake up call for her.

[cycletease]

Yeah I know. I'm not going. I do have a party that night. Maybe this will be a wake up call for her.

But don't just tell her you have other plans. She needs to know that you are not going because you do not want to. You are worth more than this and she needs to see it. She does need a wake up call! A good call for her would be never another from you!!!

[C1d6OC]

But don't just tell her you have other plans. She needs to know that you are not going because you do not want to. You are worth more than this and she needs to see it. She does need a wake up call! A good call for her would be never another from you!!!

Them some harsh words I must say. Truth be told, of course I would love to go, I just would not feel right going based on "fun". Sure she would have fun, but not me. That is why it is a wakeup call, because I'm not going to be pulled around on a string. And if she gets upset, it's not my problem. She has to deal with it. Although I do hope she finds someone. All I can't figure out is that if she KNEW not to call, based on our conversation last week, then why did she still call? I know her well enough and I feel something may be up. That's all.

[cycletease]

Them some harsh words I must say.

Perhaps it seems harsh, but it is still no less true. Regardless of whether you would like to go (of course you want to go, you want her back!) you are not a backup date.

If she had called and said something to the effect of...knowing you had agreed not to see each other, but that more than anything else she would love to have your company on that night... Then the situation would be different.

She is not doing you any favors by asking you to this. She tried to get a different date, it fell through, she doesn't want to go alone so she is pulling you out of the closet.

I am not saying that she is a bad person, I just think this is not good for you. Since it is your interests that I am looking out for...I call foul.

[C1d6OC]

hehe...it's funny you mention pulling me out of the closet, because she also said part of her reason was that she really needed someone to go with...after hearing that I knew right away what my answer was going to be. In any case, I'm NOT going! Thanks for the replies. I'll keep you posted on the whole contact thing. If anyone else wishes to give their two cents, please feel free.

[acidrein_08]

I love my ex...we might get back together soon......that's all I got to say though...

[C1d6OC]

I love my ex...we might get back together soon......that's all I got to say though...

Good for you acid. I wish you the best of luck man.

[C1d6OC]

I have a quick question for those that wish to answer. Is there a time frame after the breakup where one of the people decide to date or go out? I'm asking only because I've been on one outing with a friend and no more just to hang out and it's only been 2 weeks since my breakup. I've not even come remotely close to healing at all and I know I won't get into a relationship with anyone now, because I don't want them to be a rebound. But I'm just curious what people have to say.

[JimmyHat]

man dont worry about the rebound shit, just go out and have fun....if the girl you are dating is awesome go for her man.....you know your chic wouldnt wait around if she was in your position. Just make yourself happy